Jordanio

2010-10-12T20:39:00.000+08:00

oh happy days... :)

October Conference. Full time ministry - why not?

2010-10-04T18:58:00.043+08:00

so... it began with understanding "Who Jesus is?, "What Jesus came for?"...
and then understanding, "What is required of us?" a.k.a. the demands gospel...

there was a series of questions i asked myself.

Do you love Jesus?
i often tell God... "I wish I could say that I have loved you, but I haven't. If I were to stand before you, and say I loved you - it would only mean that on most occasions, I have loved you with my feelings, and on few occasions, I have loved you with my actions. And by and large, I can't say you already are the love of my life, and so I find it hard to tell you honestly that "I have loved you with my life". Still, thank you for having loved me, and so help me to love you..."

How will you love Jesus?
"I guess I've got plans for ministry, and plans to lay my life down for the sake of the gospel. I want to be a good doctor, and use that as a platform for the ministry of the gospel. Asides my workplace, I'll also give and support the gospel work of fellow christians in church. "

What about full time ministry?
"Well, in one sense, all christians are meant to do full time ministry in all areas of our life - in my work as a doctor, in university amongst my friends, in church amongst fellow christians. Its the same for every christian, whether you get paid as a Formal full-time worker in church, or whether you see your workplace and everything surrounding you as your Mission Field. For me, I think doing it alongside with my medicine degree is pretty much the way to go, and i'll work at workplace ministry + doing ministry in church. People from both places need to hear the gospel - church and the secular world."

sounds good eh?
Now, these were my valid arguments, and these were what made me think I was moving along the right track as a gospel-centered christian. Everything about these statements told me that I was ready to lay OR at least working towards laying down my life for the gospel.

The Hypothethical Situation.

You reach a fork in the road.

On the left was my plan of continuing as a "ministering" doctor doing "part-time ministry".
On the right was the path to full-time paid ministry.

Where would you go?

I would choose the left. There was nothing wrong with my original plan, which was actually very gospel-centered. In fact, both routes are just as gospel-centered, so I was contented to stay with my decision... (not knowing that in fact, my life has been held captive, not to the gospel/Jesus, but to something else.)

Now, if somewhere along your christian path, a pastor came by one day and tells you to consider full-time minsitry. What would you say?

Now, this is what I would say...
"Well, that's certainly a consideration. While I don't see myself going into full-time paid ministry yet, if the opportunities open up in future, and God calls me into full-time paid ministry, then perhaps I'll head into full-time ministry. As for now, I don't think I'm suited or ready yet. I want to work on my godliness and my character first. Personally, I'm not really a gifted speaker, but in saying that, i know this is something that can be improved with practise and training. Sometimes, the thing that stops me from wanting to take up a leadership/full-time ministry position is that, I'm afraid of the type of responsibilities for others that is required of me. I'm afraid that i might not be up to it, and that would affect the "sheep" placed under my charge. So, for now? I don't think I'm ready yet."

so far so good... i didn't see anything wrong with my life... yet.

Now, a certain miraculous change that happens instantaneously to you... its sudden, certainly strange... you don't know how it happens. You are now competant, gifted with the necessary skills to be a full-time pastor, you know you have the "character" for it because you are above reproach... and you'd be most effective as a gospel worker in this ministry rather than as a doctor.

... Now a pastor of a church in desperate need for employing gospel-centered workers to help with the gospel ministry saw you from a distance. He calls out to you saying... "Hey there! We're willing to pay you so you don't have to work. We think you'd be a great minister of the gospel, so come on along and join the bandwagon of full-time paid ministry. Come now! we'll start today..."

What would you do? What would I do?

"No, I can't... I'm not ready..." would be my answer... ... But why not?

in my heart, i felt a certain reluctance, a certain fear... Will I drop my medicine studies now without completing it and do just that? Isn't this too big a change for me...? There's too much i need to give up... I felt insecure...

You know, when I questioned myself from the beginning and up to this point, I thought I was okay as a christian, going along well with gospel-centeredness... and but now, something moved in my heart. (the kind of *gulp*-worthy discomfort at the back of my throat... it felt like someone gripped my heart)

my thoughts wrestled with my heart... i reasoned well, knowing without a doubt what the "right answer" was... that is, if my life was gospel-centered... if I was going to be "more effective" as a full-time paid minister... if the spreading of the gospel was the most important mission in life.... then why not join that band-wagon, give up being a doctor and head down the path of Full-time paid ministry... and most honestly...? hidden deep inside of me, I now know that I loved medicine for the securities it provides to me as a student now, and the same securities it would provide me as a worker in future. More importantly, the effort and investment i placed in it had made it my possession. It formed the love of my heart, and I was held captive by it.

This was a time I knew... "I had gospel-centered plans, got involved in gospel-centered acts (church and stuff), but was a christian without a gospel-centered heart...."

now you see, I had thought better of myself as a christian that I actually am; I thought I was at least somwhat gospel-centered, only to find out that on the inside, I wasn't.

The excuse I gave decieves... "I'm not ready yet, give me time to prepare, grow in godliness and be equipped. When I'm ready and find that I'm suited for it, perhaps, full-time paid ministry might me a consideration."... If anything, this was a lie and I've been decieved. Given that time should come when I became ready and suited for full-time ministry, it made no difference because, full-time ministry wasn't a real consideration at all.

... ...so you see, the hypothethical situation fastforwards "that few years" you thought you would have been working so hard to prepare yourself so as to bring you into "that time" where you have become already capable and suited for full-time ministry... But "a time" that many christians fail to think about or even consider then, what they'd do when they reached that fork in the road... ... a hypothetical decision that becomes a mirror that reflects the "christian" state; challenging your convictions, your love, your priorities.

and so, i've been decieved to think that I bore the label of a "gospel-centered christian".

Was Jesus the love of my life?
... I loved my possessions (medicine) more than Jesus.
... i'm the rich young ruler.

I always read that parable and pointed my finger at the rich young ruler almost accusing "him" as an example that I shouldn't be. I never relised how I was in fact, exactly like "him". So the heart of the issue isn't really about whether i eventually went into full-time ministry or not... It isn't even about the gospel-centered actions, services and plans I could come up with and do as a christian now. It was about my life, my love and my convictions - a gospel-centered heart.

Like the rich young ruler who had to face the "Fork-in-the-Road" - to follow Jesus or not... and who eventually turned away from following Jesus because his life was prisoner to his posessions.... Like the rich young ruler, my love and trust are in my possessions (studies/occupation)...

The gospel demands that we lay down our lives, pick up our cross and follow Him (Jesus). But, I couldn't lay down my life for the sake of the gospel. My possessions took the centre-stage, and I made attempts to structure the gospel around it... ... For me, being able to do workplace-ministry as a doctor alongside part-time church ministry made me think I had a "gospel-centered life"...

With an understanding of the seriousness, the importance and the privellage of the ministry of the gospel, it makes sense that one should be compelled one to have everything else in life structured around to support the gospel at its core. A good question to then ask ourselves is "Where can I be most effective in serving the gospel? and if I'm suited (e.g. the competence and character/maturity), what's stopping me from going there?"

With the knowlege that you might be best suited and most effective to serve the gospel in a particular area of the gospel ministry (e.g. full-time paid ministry, part-time ministry, lay-man support), and not do it... almost indefinitely shows that something else other than the gospel takes precedence. And understanding while this reflects our failings, that God who is in control is ultimately always there to help us through. (I guess the most comforting thing about this parable, is the part where Jesus said just after the parable that "With man it is impossible, but with God all things are possible...")

And ultimately, the gospel demands not as much the services you can do in Church, as much as it demands our life; that is you being able to lay down your life for Jesus. Honestly, I'm perhaps not yet ready in character, not yet competant, nor find that circumstances most favourable, and so going into full-time right now at this moment isn't not really the best thing to do. However, in this, i've learnt that there are things that I love more than Jesus, and that this needs to change eventually...

how does it affect me as a christian?
"Ignorance is Not bliss" - just knowing that i'm not the perfect christian is in fact, comforting in some sense cos' its better to know than stay ignorant (tho', staying ignorant seems like the "easier" path to go... the bible describes it as the wider road...)
"knowledge is responsibility"- knowing now what the gospel demands of a christian and how there are areas i'm still lacking, doing something about it is responsiblity; the responsiblity of the gospel ministry...

and i ask myself the question again,

Do you love Jesus?
I want to...
but I need fixing up so as to live a gospel-centered life. I want to be able to say someday - "I have loved Jesus"...

2010-09-28T21:39:00.009+08:00

facebook glamour...sigh. lol. (*dunno whether to laugh or sigh)...
on the left, is a photo of me taken just 2 months ago, and on the right is a really unglam photo taken about the time when I first arrived in Australia. Honestly? I got my left and my right mixed up.

so i wonder how much people do change just over 2.5 years.

fats aside,
i find that i've grew quite different over the past year, and especially just over the past year... some good things, some not so good things... character, maturity, humour, personality, perceptions, values, christian-ness - some for better, some for worse... ....

sometimes i wish i could be a "better christian", but it doesn't seem like a choice i can make. its hard to make myself change... sometimes I feel that only God can cause that change...

and by better christian, i actually mean i wish i could sin less, make that choice to 'suffer' for the sake of the gospel, be less ashamed of the gospel in more areas of my life/friends, be more prayerful, somehow love God more, be more convicted.

just growing up makes being "christian" really hard to do... ... more and more with age, people (me) tend to accumulate sins and the opportunity to sin...

"Sin and let your sins be strong. But let God's grace be stronger." was a quote from Martin Luther I heard during one of the bible talks...

if being a better christian is about how much less sins you are able to do, then i guess i can't say that i've became any better of a Christian than I was 10 years ago (or less of a sinner from when i was still some sort of a child). if anything, with growing up, it gets worse. Secret sins, some so subtle that i never thought i had... some so blatant which I cannot seem to stop... new ones that now tempts... sometimes its just outright rebellion. Often, i just feel plain helpless.

but if being a better christian is about putting on a better brand of 'Christ' and showing it off so others see... if its about glorifying the Christ (meaning, saviour), then its really about knowing more, and more of how much of a sinner I was and still am, that God/Jesus should still love and choose to save a person like me despite what I do.

so i am thankful that God decides to forgive past, present and future sins.

then, how does one change to put on the "brand of Christ"?
i read on the news recently of a church of puts tatoos on themselves... (and collects offerings in KFC chicken wing buckets...). not for me maybe.

...looking forward to october conference, a 4 day 3 night camp just for thinking about Full-Time ministry...

2010-09-13T23:27:00.004+08:00

a little treasure i dug out. As i was reading this diary entry, it hit me that along the way, at certain gaps... i've forgetten how it was like, to want so much for others to know who God is.

it's probably true... the more you know God, the more you want to share w/ others about Him. and the more you want to share w/ others about a God that loves (and that you love), the more you want to know for yourself who this God is.

- diary entry in 2007 -
Aint friends great?
I can't imagine what it would be like without friends.
Maybe my friends were the ones and were the reason that made me want to really know God more, and so much so that I wanted God to be part of their lives too. I wanted to share something good with them, to share some most important part of my life with them...

The bible said that we should evangelise so that we can experience every good thing there is in Him... and I really think that the best thing that can ever happen is when my friends have found for themselves who God really is too.

But sometimes its hard to invite them to church, or tell them about Jesus... Some are cynical, others too busy, some just don't need it. Or do they? I've come to realise that it actually isn't I who should make that judgement. I should leave it to God.. All that I need to do is to share with them... something like a little introduction.

2010-06-09T21:41:00.005+08:00

today, in hospital... 9/06/2010

a palliative care week lay ahead...

all of us were assigned to our own patients.

so it was, I was assigned to my patient...

the hospital day started.

I must say, the doctors and nurses in palliative care certainly carry a different flavour with them. Amidst a drone of sadness in the background, I see amongst the healthcare team - smiles, much more than in the busier hospitals, accompanied by a certain warmth, dedication and perhaps even, compassion.

it was 9.15a.m. in the morning, and we met our princple tutor, a registrar who brought us around the hospital.

there were five of us in all. six if you included the doctor.

today, as educational as it was, it was educational to the heart of medicine.

I saw a doctor transform into a cute'sy character just to bring some smiles onto the hospital beds - a certain compassion I'm inspired by, one which I should work to gain... and also one which I should never lose.

of all days, this is a day in hospital where I felt like I really wanted to be a doctor... well, I always thought I wanted to be a doctor, today i felt it inside... and certainly, palliative care wasn't just all about pain relief, symptom control, treatments, home visits, counsellors... ... Its about the heart of being a doctor.

there was an anomaly to the norm... a stark contrast... a temporary medical resident was on her temporary rotation in palliative care...

"Can you see this patient and find out how he's doing?" our doctor asked the resident, and in a quick little hurry, he ran off to settle something else...

so it was the five of us, and her... she was strange... scary in fact...

to break the silence, in a happy cheery voice, she told us.... "I want to have as little contact with patients as possible. That's why I'm going to be a pathologist" she said smiling... and then, she starting going on about how she loved several hospitals for being near a beach and being relaxed...

Stumped and speechless... well, we didn't really know what to say either.
the doctor came back, "How's the patient doing?" ....

so quickly, with a finger pointed toward the doctor, she spoke...

"The patient wants to see you..."
i guess she... lied...

but it wasn't so much about the lie, but knowing that she was doing all these without a certain 'heart' for it... a certain 'fake'ness in her smile makes me... if i could use a word to bring it to an extreme, then that word would be 'shudder'.

Lunch break. 1.30-2.45pm... had aporto for my first time. it was pretty decent :)

It was time to meet our allocated patients. I always get a little nervous before meeting patients, but once it starts going, I lose the nervousness and it gradually dissipitates in the background...

so I do the normal - a standard introduction, a greeting, and asked for permission, sat down...

and the conversation starts...

you really wonder what to say to patients who are facing a certain eminent death. you cannot really say "i hope you get better" or "don't worry about this" or "its alright" or "i'm sure the doctor's got it in control" or... ...

10 minutes prior to the conversation, I had written some pointers and questions down, a list of them, appropriate ones to ask...

so it was, I began to chat with Mr. B, a 76 y.o. gentlemen who was in the midst of painting a really pretty picture of flowers. He was quite good actually, carefully adding layer to layer of paint, waiting for each layer to dry before adding the next... what he calls every subsequent piece of art, an improvement from a previous painting.

Mr. B was a person of interesting character. Clearly, with a clear, sharp and analytical mind, and a hint of obsession with logic and reason, he analysed the people around him, the things people do - the drugs he takes, the nurses, the doctors, his paintings....

"In my whole life, I have never seen! no *shakes head* never... never seen such a group of people (the nurses) so dedicated to their work. If it were me, I meant if it were me, I'd get pissed off in 20 minutes, put my head in a gas chamber and get outta here. There are people pissing in their pants, people complaining all the time, and but, there's a certain something about these people. I've worked in so many places... well, I am an electrical engineer, and 'astro-physicist'... I deal with machines, parts, engineering... ... and met so many people, but never in my life seen such a dedicated team of people. Well, let me tell you about one of the nurses..."

at this time, his eyes were drawn into space, as though in deep thought. But not being able to grasp the right word to say, he finally surrenders to a relatively normal word, if it was normal at all

"She's special..."

"There's something special about her. You see the man opposite me, well, he was crying. And you know what she did? She hugged him. She didn't have to. She wasn't obliged to. She wasn't family. You know how families are, 'Well, dad's sick. we've gotta visit him and make sure he's okay...', they are obliged to. At first, I thought she was the daughter, but turns out she wasn't. She did not need to be all 'cuddley and kissy' with a sick old man.. yes, a sick old man. She didn't have to do all that, but she did. You don't normally go around hugging people who are old, dying, and who shit in their pants. And me, she hugged me too. She's special"

and that was something new to me too...

the conversation went on, and I asked, "What concerns you the most now?"

"Staying alive and living on. You know, how we are made up of the physical and the mental... and as time passes..."

and Mr. B. paused, and in a crackled speech said "we get weaker and weaker, till both fades away... that's how my wife went last year, and what we all have to go through..."

and teary-eyed he was... it was my first encounter with a man crying

2 weeks ago, a vietnamese mother with breast cancer, teared up too because she couldn't believe it was happening to her, and she still had to a 15 year old child to look after. It was hard, sure it was with chemotherapy. There was a sense of helplessness, a loss of control, as cancer and its treatment began to take over her life...

and in this man, somewhat similar... but different too...

I looked over, and a little lost for what to do... understanding where he was coming from, I felt empathy... a little sad too, and only a little as compared to what he must have be going through... ...

"I'm sorry... I get all teared up when I mention this..." in a crackled voice he said, with a little fumbling, ...

Lost for what to exactly say, and I gave a gentle whisper "it's okay..." , gave in to a necessary silence... and so it was, i placed one of my hands over his wrist, and with the other, a rub over his shoulder.

and in just a while, and we started talking about things again... about his paintings... about life... and about 'care'... this patient to me, surely wasn't a 'patient dying from lung cancer', but a person who wants to live on...

"I don't know much about the nursing home. I don't want to live there. Of course I prefer to be back home, but thinking now, it might not be the best of options. My daughter she lives a fair bit from me, and to get the care the doctors say I need, its too expensive to have them at home."

"If in the nursing home, I don't want to be with a bunch of old ladies playing lotto all day. I'm scared I won't be able to do the things I want to do... I want to be able to get my tools, power sockets, shouldering iron... ... nothing really much, just some of my workshop stuff over to keep me doing thing, to keep me occupied. In this hospital, painting is the bare minimum that keeps me going. Without this, in two days, I'd put my head in a gas chamber and I'm outta here...."

and so as I said before, and say it again, it came to me that - far from being a dying 'patient', this is a person who is pressed on living...

and with this, my view on of palliative care certainly has changed. it ain't so much about dying as much as it is about living... even if it meant living your last lap of life.

and with that... I placed my arm over his shoulder, gave him a kind of a 'sideway hug' and thanked him...

today i learnt more than my fair share... it surely ain't much 'medical' as I thought it would've been... much more than medicine for the body...

compassion.

it's a type of medicine for the soul.

2010-02-24T21:30:00.001+08:00

test

ipodfactory.com

www.ipodfactory.com

random rattlings

2010-01-07T02:01:00.004+08:00

kudos to beautiful teeth...

having 2 broken front teeth ain't cheap to maintain, especially when these "not-so-cheap" fillings keep coming out... and in Australia, breaking these fillings meant that I'd gotta pay almost 100 bucks per tooth (on top of the consultation costs) to repair it (as compared to 50 dollars here).... it ain't gonna be worth it in the long run...

so today, i decided to consult the dentist to find out the options for a more permanent solution. and that's crowning.

"Why are your front two teeth so short?" the dentist asked me... "I had another dentist shave my front two teeth a little cos it cracked at the edges, so it became shorter..."

"well, its gotta be way longer than these you have..."

talk talk...

"How long does it take to do a crown?"
"1 week."

I clasped my hands together, and was excited to hear that it could be done in such a short time.... "So when can we start?"

"Well, how about we start today..." the dentist said...
and so, i decided to start the crowning process immediately...

so within that hour, I had my front 2 semi-fractured teeth drilled and hammered into 2 "sticks" and it wasn't a pleasant thing.
the most painful part was the anesthetic injection into my gums.
the drill grinded parts of my semi-fractured tooth into smitherines/powder.
so, I could literally see powder flying out of my mouth, and it smells like concrete.

now i'll have to wait a week.

kudos to beautiful teeth.

and having beautiful teeth ain't just about the aesthetics of a nice smile.

now I finally can eat an apple, crunch into a cracker, tear meat of a chicken wing (as compared to using a fork and knife to shred the meat off before putting it into my mouth)... you know, how troublesome it becomes having to eat food like that... :X perhaps, that's why I've not really liked meat with bones, a strange phobia after having bitten onto a pork with hidden bone at Honey-Wok and having broken the "cheap" filling off my teeth.

but phobia no more...

with a crown,
finally, eating's gonna be convenient again!!!!! :D
*and of course, eating with a beautiful smile is extremely important.
Have you seen the smiles of Japanese people on local television when they enjoy sushi? what wide and beautiful smiles they have right... so what's good food without a beautiful smile?

anddd, I've got a new Dog, Welsh Corgi, named after the wizzy... Merlin (a short wizard just like a short-legged dog) :D really cool. and really happy that my home is gonna be more lively again with this dog around.

i mean, when our Tuffy (siberian husky) died last year, the home became quite a lot more quiet...
... my dad didn't have to nag at us to bring the dog out anymore.
... tuffy would normally walk around the house, and "beg" for food with the cutest lying down position with sad eyes.
... we didn't have to worry about someone getting bitten anymore.
... there wasn't something to cuddle in the afternoon when everyone's out at work/school
... there was one less responsibility to occupy our time...

so I always wanted to have a dog in the house.

its good exercise for my parents to walk the dog. and its fun to have a dog running around the place and greeting people who come back at the gate. at least, I like to be greeted when I come back home. its the feeling of being welcomed that i missed. its fun to tell others about how handsome my previous dog was, well, it really was the most handsome dog in the neighbourhood (or so i've seen.. nothing beats blue-eyed, apricot-white coloured siberian husky... HUNK). now too, i think i've got the cutest, most intelligent and the friendliest dog in the neighborhood that I can go on bragging about.

haha.

random rattlings.

i'm happy to have a dog in the house.

2009-12-23T13:31:00.006+08:00

for many things in december, I'm really happy and thankful to God for... :D a month of fun, surprises and amusing things.

i'm really thankful for the 'family' of friends I've found in Australia... and 'importing' back them from Australia during the school holidays, and just spending time with them on very 'happening' outings was actually a real encouragement.
i'm thankful for the time spent with my family on my holiday trip.
i'm also thankful for the friends back home in Singapore that I've been able to catch up with... friends that I really treasure here.

if a month could be happy.... its a happy month...

perhaps, once december ends, i'd get really really really busy...
rahHHHhhhHh. so many things to do, but so little time... :P

2009-11-23T10:43:00.006+08:00

i remember.

during my first few weeks in Sydney in Year One.
my landlord Mr. Wu said,
"I pray that God gives me a soft heart, so that I can cry..."
these are some things people say that mean so much.

something i'll remember.

2009-11-20T22:07:00.008+08:00

It sure has been raining heavily lately... so...

I like the the smell of 'wet', that comes off the warm concrete floor.
I like the sound of the beating rain, alongside the grumbles of grumpy black clouds.
I like the dim lighting of a grey sky blanket covers the sky.
On a day like this, nothing really beats the comforts of home.
I lay on my bed.
I go back to sleep.

:)

2009-11-20T19:22:00.008+08:00

Have you ever had something come and go,
Just as purposeless as it comes, purposeless it leaves?
Like a passing train on its tracks passes by...
Must there be a purpose for every happening?
So as it is, some things are just weird.

haha. deep eh? deep rite.

2009-11-19T20:50:00.007+08:00

things to learn

'beware' of what you ask for...

you know, praying for things and then realizing the depth of what you say... really... is something worth considering. words are so easily written, or spoken to God... but when God starts to answer those prayers, its seriously sometimes not easy. so tell God, "I'm a proud person, please make me humble", or "Let your will be done" or "I really want to grow in godliness"... or "I want to start loving people more".... these are things so easily said, don't you think?

can you imagine how God would answer these prayers? to break a person's pride (opportunities that put your works to shame/to take away), to give up your will to follow God's (opportunities to deny your will/to take away), to love people more (opportunities of self-sacrifice, to give more of yourself/ to take away), to grow in godliness/character (opportunities of suffering, trials, tough experiences/ to take away), to be more generous (opportunities that takes away) ... ... the answer to these things sure ain't comfortable... nor anything easy to swallow... especially when many of these involves the taking away of some parts of our lives that are so precious to us. and so really most of these are what Christians (or very much, MYSELF) ask for all the time *just really sometimes not expecting the things in the brackets*

so this year, i've ever always asked God for things like those above, and this year I really got what I asked for (at least for some)... but it sure wasn't easy... perhaps, thinking back, this year's really was the hardest year i've ever had to gone through in the 21+ years of my life (21+ years ain't very long tho')... but a year where God has been so gracious, a year I've grown through a year of many lessons learnt and a year of many new experiences and things done... for that, i'm grateful, some of these things I'm comfortable sharing (but most of these things, I won't share cos its personal)

be-aware of what you ask for...

i guess journalling and writing the things you ask God for down, helps so much... it helped me remember the things I've asked God for (things so weird, and things needed), and God gave generously/graciously... it helped me remain thankful for those times... it helped me remember God and realise how He was really REAL and in-control of so many areas of my life... it helped me to look back at myself, and see how i've changed (not because i chose to change, really)... IT HELPS ME REMEMBER :D *so blame the STM (short-term memory for an aged 21+/22 year old)* and so i think prayer journalling is awesome... *i mean how many times, have we uttered prayers, and forgot what we pray for? i do that all the time... i don't remember what we prayed for in Church 3 weeks ago, 2 weeks ago, sometimes even, 2 days ago, sometimes 5 minutes ago.. (i'm not saying that's good at all)....

aside from remembering, it helps me to think through the things I pray for... i always remember the times where I just say "dear God, bless and help blah blah blah..." in less than 30 seconds, i decide to snooze off to sleep"... writing things down, makes you think about what you say... :D

so a strong advocate here, for prayer journalling :) :] :D

and of course in prayer, it is not always simply about asking and receiving...

Christianity isn't all about ourselves, but the giving of ourselves to God, and to others... sometimes, we ask God for many thing... many many many many many things... but sometimes, it is useful to start questioning why we ask God for the things we ask God for.

of course, its good to ask God for grace in times of suffering... for help in time of need... i'm sure it ain't wrong... (cos it's never wrong to depend on God in times of difficulty)... but it is also not always about asking for ourselves, for ourselves...

more often, it's really about the giving of ourselves to others...

God loved us, so we can love others...
God blesses, so we can bless others...
God gives, so that we can give to others...
God forgives, so that we can forgive others...

asking and receiving... and giving...

randomness

2009-11-19T10:19:00.015+08:00

i was looking at a past post... and so i decided to dig this out... i thought it was interesting...

Jordan,

Your personality is Phlegmatic Choleric

Melancholy Strength:2 Weakness:4

15%

Phlegmatic Strength:9 Weakness:7

40%

Sanguine Strength:4 Weakness:2

15%

Choleric Strength:5 Weakness:7 30%

http://oneishy.com/personality/ to read more....

Strengths of a Phlegmatic

The Phlegmatic's Emotions

Low-key personality
Easygoing and relaxed
Calm, cool and collected
Patient well balanced
Consistent life
Quiet but witty
Sympathetic and kind
Keeps emotions hidden
Happily reconciled to life
All-purpose person

The Phlegmatic As A Parent

Makes a good parent
Takes time for the children
Is not in a hurry
Can take the good with the bad
Doesn't get upset easily

The Phlegmatic At Work

Competent and steady
Peaceful and agreeable
Has administrative ability
Mediates problems
Avoids conflicts
Good under pressure
Finds the easy way

The Phlegmatic As a Friend

Easy to get along with
Pleasant and enjoyable
Inoffensive
Good listener
Dry sense of humor
Enjoys watching people
Has many friends
Has compassion and concern

and i wonder why there's so many good points to this (i mean "me")... haha. and i realise it is merely really just an ego-inflation thing... so take "a dose of ego". hahaha. (maybe that's what personality tests are for... to list enough "strengths to inflate an ego"...)

anw, amongst the countless random points mentioned, i thought i found one that's really accurate... just one... so that's why i dug out this ancient post...

and i mean, for listing all those points, i've gotta have one, at least, that best suits me eh....

so naturally... i found one...

genuinely the MOST ACCURATE one...

beyond a shadow of doubt...

and what people always tell me...

Dry sense of humor
Dry sense of humor
Dry sense of humor
Dry sense of humor
Dry sense of humor
Dry sense of humor
Dry sense of humor
Dry sense of humor

HAHAHAHAha ha ha ha *sure ain't raining yet... :P*

lol

2009-11-18T22:13:00.009+08:00

today i was thinking...

how important really it is to be a compassionate doctor... and stay that way!

you know, i'm already looking forward to next year when our phase II starts, where we can start talking to patients and getting down to doing more interesting stuff... and but i was thinking about easily it'd be for me, after going through patient after patient after patient, to start treating patients as patients, not as people.

in medicine, i guess, while professional lines should be drawn, every patient you face still is a person... and a person who should not be just defined by his illness... i.e. "He's patient XXX with a heart problem..." maybe that's why they've trained us to ask about psycho-social issues, to ask about worries, to ask about concerns, to ask about many things other than just the defining illness itself...

so that's just the first step.

a christian doctor.... has to take two steps to take.

compassion perhaps is the next step to go.

as doctors, we can give professional holistic advice to patients...but as christian doctors, i guess, being able to empathize, being able to 'share' a person's suffering, to understand that patients are people too, really is what compassion is about.

"a patient is a doctor's neighbour"

you know, one thing i really fear in the course of studying medicine, and something I have to constantly keep in check, is how i may one day i may just lose compassion for ill/suffering people... "seeing 1000 patients with cancer, doesn't make the 1001st patient less important."

so while admittedly, we won't be able to bear everyone's burden, i guess, its still important that we don't lose compassion for individual patients... you know, i reckon many medical students who want to be doctors, start off with the ideal of 'helping' people who are suffering from disease, a compassionate ideal, which becomes lost so easily in the sea of patients...

so how does this tie in with being a christian?

the bible talks about loving your Neighbour as yourself... in many ways, patients make a doctor's neighbour. in this, loving someone should not be limited by professional boundaries... loving people transcends these boundaries... and perhaps "a christian doctor who shows compassion to a person who's ill is really a consequence/result/act of his love for people, a love that crosses his professional boundaries...

so, this doesn't only apply to doctors... but to all Christians in whatever situation they find themselves in (be you a doctor/engineer/lawyer/salesman/banker/employee... ... to whoever your neighbor be...)

and ultimately... love others because God first loved us... and that's evangelistic.

2009-11-18T08:10:00.005+08:00

i had the weirdest dream.

i dreamt i was running through mirrors. each time i ran through a mirror, my world switched. my left became my right, my right became my left.

i dreamt i was immortal. I became immortal when I was hungry. so i felt hungry forever.

maybe it's backlashes from the movie, "Dr. Parnasus and the Imaginarium"

2009-11-18T01:01:00.000+08:00

"He is no fool to lose what he cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose"
Jim Elliot. Shadow of the Almighty

i'm gonna start reading this awesome book. tho' i tried on the aeroplane back...
i'm not an avid reader, and i have short concentration span...
and "I can't read" is always my excuse but a genuine one...
so it takes more patience, determination, concentration, motivation to go through a single book...

***if i were to count the number of storybooks containing more than a 100 pages that i've completed reading in my entire life, i think i could use 10 fingers... in fact, 10 fingers may be more than enough... i'd probably use one hand.

things i need to do...

I need to prepare for my cambodia mission trip.
I need to prepare for my my exams next year.
I need to prepare for an application for some exemption thingy i'm trying for.
I need to prepare for ....

maybe...
i'll seriously learn Bahasa Indonesia this time round. maybe I should enrol for lessons... ... maybe then I can help out my mum in her indonesian fellowship. that'd be something interesting to do in Singapore :)

maybe...
i'll pick up jazz piano from someone willing to teach me... i hope. i always tried to learn from YouTube... mannn its hard.

so i can't waste away my time... i shouldn't bum around like i did last year.

To God.
be the wake of my sleep. be the first thought i think. be the air I breathe. be the life in me. be the words in my speech. be my hope of salvation. be my strength and song. be the God of me.

2009-11-17T10:21:00.002+08:00

amazing grace...
this is one of my favourite songs...
perhaps, this year, God has really been really gracious to me...
so 2 words...
amazing grace...
is really quite an apt description...
and of course, studying about the Gospel this year... John... has been pretty awesome...
it's really saving Grace... amazing grace...
...makes me more thankful/grateful always.

so the words goes like this

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now am found, Was blind, but now I see. T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear. And Grace, my fears relieved. How precious did that Grace appear The hour I first believed. Through many dangers, toils and snares I have already come; 'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far and Grace will lead me home. The Lord has promised good to me. His word my hope secures. He will my shield and portion be, As long as life endures. Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail, And mortal life shall cease, I shall possess within the veil. A life of joy and peace. When we've been here ten thousand years Bright shining as the sun. We've no less days to sing God's praise Than when we've first begun.

amazing grace video.

2009-11-16T13:53:00.002+08:00

unsw medicine singaporean blogspot christian FOCUS sydney australia jordan blog 2009 2010 2008 "adv"

2009-11-16T09:56:00.012+08:00

and so... bit by bit, so many things to thank God for...

i'll start off i thank God for focus this year.. and i thank God for our bible-study leaders who led the group so well. So jellybeans was a blast...

I remember during the church camp, I came out of the camp with a primary aim to live out a life of godliness as a single... It was something I prayed for... and it was something I really wanted... and through this year, God kinda answered my prayer... for that I'm grateful. so very very very thankful. and so blessed.... so blessed this year. I'm not saying I'm the most holy, godly person out there... cos I'm not... I'm really not... If i were to list out all my flaws, I could fill a whole page, and then probably, you'd see a totally different person than you think is me... but what i'm saying is that I'm thanking God that I ain't really the same-same person I was... last year.

so i realised, a life of godliness really starts by seeking God...

That is WHY I'm soooOOO thankful for coming to Australia, to be able seek God through focus sermons (josh and charles, ivan, linocln, andy preaching), through having awesome biblestudy leaders (lincoln, eugene, amanda, jono, weibin), through having spent time with awesome christian friends that really spur and inspire me... i'm thankful. grateful. really so blessed... so blessed... so blessed.... and so, i didn't change because I was hyped up to change myself... it wasn't like a "motivational talk" that does so... it was a such a subtle and gradual change that I didn't even realise, not until I read my diary entries, look at my past blog posts and compare the things I prayed for in the past. so i'm sure it wasn't me, but it was God's hand on my life... through the christian peeps around me... really it was... so i'm really so thankful to God for being able to be in Focus, and be around and learn from my leaders and friends, be led and inspired, be humbled and guided... and most importantly, spuring me on to seek God. I love God more than I had, really not because I did anything much myself... for that I'm thankful too!

so a big change, that i'm thankful for... or something really important that I learnt... goes something like this

Compared to last year, my questions were more argumentative... but this year, something important I learnt, is that some things are less worth questioning that others. also, things that you question about, really shows who you are inside... asking a question out of argument, really is subtle pride... i guess, i must have been a really proud person.

especially questions that are directed at "What should or should not a christian do?"... drawing lines to what a christian should or should not do, really is not the best question to ask... I gave hypothetical examples, to support my stand on whether doing something is right or wrong... to draw a line like the pharisees do... yea. my questions were very much similar in many ways to a pharisee... "Should christians pay taxes to Caesar? ..." really, the motives behind these questions were just to 'trap'... its ultimately, its effect is ultimately similar to my questions... it traps... maybe its cos theology to me, was like a debate... so the person, me, behind these questions was prideful and "argumentative".

so but more importantly, that changed. my motives behind my numerous questions, really changed... it did.

My questions became focused on "How this would affect me as a chrsitian? How this teaches us to love people more? How other things teaches us how good God is? How we should live our lives? How we can love God...? What are the underlying principles of being christian? What does being christian mean?" and these questions became questions that I would ask more often. Because, ultimately, questions should for the purposes of seeking God, and not for the purposes of forming an "argument" or "debate". so perhaps, that's a stark difference between my questions last year Vs this year...

------

The 2 laptop incidents that happened to me, tho' a bad thing... really turned out for good. i'm not saying I'm thankful that I lost 2 laptops, cos that's silly... ... really, I'm still thankful for the lessons learnt. These incidents made my year so eventful, and probably made it pass so fast too.

I remember the first time i lost my laptop in the library. I was sad... really distressed... "WHY" is probably the the word i used most when talking to God... well, it wasn't really the best time of the year... and it was only about 1.5 weeks before my exams... I think thats really the worst thing that can happen for a student... to lose your laptop. So i lost my notes, I couldn't print out my notes without a computer, everything became a hassle... I was stressed, I couldn't study either. The incident kept running through my head, over... and over... and over... and over... and over... it really wore me out. But no one can really understand... not until you really experienced it first hand.

And so, I wrote to God... and I was desperate... Sometimes I asked Him to let me know why all these has to happen. Sometimes I asked Him to give me a bit of relief from all the stress I felt... It was a horrid period for me. Often, 5 minutes into studying, and my mind wanders off for the next hour thinking how my laptop ever got stolen, how things would have been different, what I could have done myself to prevent it.... it was *sigh* after *sigh* after *sigh*....

But you know, God was extremely gracious. i remember that very night after I lost my laptop... I prayed. I wrote to God. I asked God many things... "WHY WHY WHY...?" and also, specifically for several things...

one of which goes like this

25th April 1a.m.
"I pray that you'd give me way to print my notes... cos that's what I need most now..."

and also I wrote this to God, in CAPS... as desperate as I sounded in my prayer...
"HEAR ME, I REALLY WANT TO KNOW THAT YOU'VE HEARD ME"

... you know, in desperate times like this, I thought God was extremely silent... extremely silent... I didn't know if God heard my prayer at all... so thoughts like "what if this was such a small incident to get God involved with" went through my head... isn't it just a laptop... what is that to God?... and was God even with me through this... I ended off writing this down...

"So in this situation, please help me... Comfort me God... comfort me... Let me know you're real! because it's especially now that I want you to comfort me,,, because i'm hurtful inside... I am... I really am... To the extent that if you remained silent, I become so scared that you are not real... This feeling inside... I'm afraid God... please comfrot me... i'm afraid that you won't... or I don't see... either way, I need you to show yourself real to me now... Welcome to the worst day of my life... one of the worst..."

*I wouldn't say this was a model prayer... nor was is it something that we should all follow... at all... its far from perfect... really it is...

It was already 1.30 a.m. after I ended writing to God, I closed my diary, I turned off my lights, and just when I was about to lay on my bed to sleep... and something happened...

my phone buzzed... and chris (from medicine) sms'ed me, and said,
"i wanted to tell this to you earlier, but I forgot... Let me if know you need help with printing your notes..." That was the first prayer answered... I never expected an instant answer to a such specific prayer... but i was encouraged by and comfoted by Chris's message.

and so, under my mobile phone hidden from view... lay a verse written on a card that I didn't see until my phone buzzed... and wouldn't have seeen it if i didn't pick up my phone to read chris's sms... so i picked it up together with my phone...

and it wrote

"When you call me, I will listen to you. When you look for me, you will find me. Yes, when you seek me with all your heart, you will find me with you." Jeremiah 29:11-14....

u know, perhaps, i really did doubt that God heard me pray... this reminded me that God listened to my prayer... it stood out like a God-answered verse.

whatever it was, may be conincidence... but even coincidences like that are in God's hands... it was really God's grace on me... You know, just small things like that, made me so thankful... so thankful to God... He didn't have to do it... nor did He promise that He'd give instant answers this way... but what I was so thankful for was God's grace, which was huge... really so huge...

so that night, I also wrote this down in my prayer journal "God, helpme to know that is for good... 'For you said all things work together for good.' " it was a verse that I just quoted out of the bible from Romans 8:28... I didn't know if it was quoted out of context or not... *cos its not always good to just quote verses out of the bible like that... but I just did... * and because tho' i asked God many tims whY it happened.... what I really just needed to know that it was for "good".... i didn't really need to know the a reason why it happened... I needed to know that God allowed it to happen... and He was in control, and the that He allowed it to happen for my good... *whatever reason it may have been.

so the next day came, I needed to study for my exams... but I couldn't concentrate... still! I just felt really really really stressed.... I went home early from the library... couldn't study anymore... 9.40pm, I leaned against my wall, and started to write to God again... and i wrote

25th April 9.40p.m.
"If only I could cry, maybe I'll feel better... but I can't..."

I didn't really know what to write... I just wanted to complain, to vent all the horrid feelings inside out... but as I wrote, in the midst of writing... from above me, i heard a tacky-sound... and a piece of verse that I pasted on my wall dropped onto my left shoulder... and immediately I thought, "sigh* this is going to be another disappointment if I thought this was another "answer" from You and if it wasn't..." so i hesitated to look at it...

you know, when I was younger, I used to think that just by flipping the bible, to a random page, God can speak to me... so it was very much like when I had a problem, I tried to do it when I was young and sure enough, time, after time, after time.... really nothing happened. I didn't get any answers from God. haha. clearly, it was not the right way of looking to God for answers...

anw, so i thought, that in the randomness of things like verses falling off my wall, and if I thought it was a "sign" from God, and it turned out not to be... then it'd be just like all other times, just like flipping open the bible to a random verse, thinking that I'd get a "sign" from God, and not getting one... and I'd just get disappointed *so I am not encouraging people to do it this way, to always expect an instant answer like this*

so I remained apprehensive, but continued writing to God for a while in my journal, with the piece of verse on my shoulder... clearly, I didn't think very much of it... not until, i took it, and i read it... it was a verse from Romans 8:28 "We know that God makes all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purposes..."

I was pretty shocked... and didn't really know what to say after... cos I wrote asking God something so specific... to just help me know that this is for good... "God, help me to know that is for good... 'For you said all things work together for good.' " really, God didn't have to do this again... I was really humbled...

you know, asking and "expecting" God for things like that, or sometimes for myself, NOT asking and expecting God for things like that (like me) and when God gives so graciously *right in my face*... i really become really really really really really humbled.

so that was the 1st 2 days after I lost my laptop... and God answered, in the wierdest ways... in small ways...

at least, I was comforted to know that God was still there... i really was... *maybe in desperate times like this, I really didn't have faith enough to trust in God, and that's why God was gracious* For that, I was truly truly truly thankful.

the third day...

after what God has done in the 1st 2 days, some people would expect that I'd be fine... that i'd trust God more... that i'd have more faith.... that I didn't have to worry or be bothered by it as much... clearly, it wasn't the case.

on the 3rd day after losing my laptop... this is what I wrote to God... in its exact words... sometimes, I feel that these are less than a model prayer... much less an example to follow... its just because I'm not the perfect christian... really... i doubted God

27th April 2009 I wrote...
"I woke up feeling better. I went to the library and did some work using the library computers... but now, God, my heart feels to down again. I'm depressed... to the extent that I really feel like crying...
These smiles I put on my face... is just a fascade. I've got no energy to smile like I used to do.... How can I say I've got joy even in such a time?... What else can I ask from you now? What else can I ask from you? I'm drained... do you know how i feel God? don't you? Do you understand me as I seek so much to understand and love you... do you understand me God? or am I too small in your eyes? Am I? Should I draw back to my place as just another human, or Should I expect more from You? Should I? Can I? I want to... now because I really want to know you are real..."

you know... to think that I still asked God for more, don't you think it's really too much to ask for?... i asked God to show me that He's real again... after the what He's done for me on the 1st 2 days... really... its kinda only shows how faithless I can be... so really, i'm not a perfect christian,

and so, that night... i went home... as I was about to try and sleep... and strangely enough as i lay on my bed... another verse dropped off my wall...
*this time I was really less apprehensive... but I still doubted, cos I didn't want to be disapointed, to expect something you think is from God which turns out not to be* so but, I picked it up, and I read it... it was queer... a queer thing...

"I give you my assurance, whatever you ask the Father, he will give you in my name Until now, you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you shall recieve, that you joy may be full..." John 16:22-24... clearly, some would say using this verse in a situation like this, could be out of context.... butttt.... it answered me so specifically, and it comforted me... especially when I wrote to God something so specific saying "How can I say I've got joy even in such a time?... What else can I ask from you now? What else can I ask from you?", I guess, I could still ask God for the right things... you know, throughout these time... I learnt an important lesson...

I reckon, that asking and receiving isn't really the most important bit of this verse... It was about a complete joy that comes f.rom an assurance that God is there and that He is in control (i.e. in asking and recieving)... and that's really what Joy is... really, knowing God was in control, made me feel quite joyful... it was comforting... really it was.

so.... these 3 days.... there's a story to the fourth day... but i'll keep it to three days... :D

for these 3 days... I'm most thankful to God... grateful... sometimes, sharing a testimony like this ain't easy and especially when people may start to think "could this just be a coincidence? is it biblical?"... but while this is clearly not an example to follow suit, it was a time where God was really gracious to me.... a time where I was humbled by the extent of His grace... a time where God was personal.... and that He wasn't a God too far away... a time where I really needed God because my faith was clearly shaken... a time which showed how imperfect I was, with little faith, but God helped me... it was humbling.

call it conincidences*... or some call it 'signs'... whatever you call it... i'd imagine if none of these happened, and that God was silent... it'd have been a very much harder time for me... to me... i'm truly grateful and thankful... and thankful for His grace...
*i'm not advocating looking for signs from God... I'm just thankful for His grace... in this way, I've been blessed, so blessed, so blessed.

So that was the story of my first laptop...

and many more stories to share... about what I learnt this year...

a story for another time :D

2009-11-13T23:00:00.003+08:00

This year, I must say I've really been blessed... so blessed... so blessed... so blessed... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.... so blessed.

You know if one word could sum up this year, I'd say...

THANKFULNESS/GRATEFULNESS

That's 2 words tho'. I'm really so thankful to God for so many things... you have no idea how much I really am.

Even though, this year has beeeeeeeeN a really eventful year, seriously eventful... but still, thankful beyond words when I see how God has been faithful still... extremely faithful throughout this year... and seeing how I've kinda changed so much... ... I read my past diary entries/private blog posts... and I realise I'm not really the same person I used to be... The change is huge, but the process is subtle... I don't realise it.

So, await an extremely long post... cos its coming up...
A reflective one...

As for now, I just say I'll just say I do actually love God a lot... much more than I've had before.

2009-10-12T20:38:00.003+08:00

be thankful for the cross...

:)

Random Thoughts

2009-09-24T21:37:00.009+08:00

written a long time ago on 7/6/09... i decided to use this post as my next update for this blog...

*random thoughts* ... in real life, i'm not that "deep" and "reflective" and serious.... but I can be who I want to be online. haha. so well, here goes... a long deep, reflective and serious post...

one thing, I may not be right though in the things I say, so i'll just call it *random thoughts*...

a few thoughts... ... if you really want to find out about God, and who God is...

1. DRAW THE LINE between CHRISTIANS and CHRISTIANITY

because there's nothing really perfect about Christians. really... nothing really perfect about christians, and nothing perfect about non-christians alike. but there's something perfect about God... and something about God that calls sinners to Himself. You know, the church is not really supposed to be a "perfect" place, but ironically, a place for "sinners"...

Christians fall away too often because of other christians... hence, a very important learning point:

Every time a christian leaves/falls away, we must always check-back and reflect on ourselves. The problem may not only lie with the 'leaver' but with the people who want so much to prevent others from 'leaving'- christians. It's a double responsibility on the leaders.

and for non-christians, don't place your ideas of christianity on christians. Don't hold too high expectations of them, cos you can be disappointed. christians are not any much better than anyone else... Ghandi said, "i like the Christian God, but I don't like the Christians..."

2. READ THE BIBLE and SEEK GOD

Read the bible not just to understand in your head (head-knowledge), and not to argue against or critique it, and neither to go into pointless debates, nor just to become a better person... ... But Read the bible to seek God. *ps: be you a christian or a non-christian... if you believe in a God, find Him.

people argue over whether the bible's real, people argue about what in the bible is real, people argue about which interpretation in the bible is real or more accurate... but sometimes, too much of these, and the real point of reading the bible is missed, overlooked, undermined... read the bible to seek God...

the point of the bible really is to show its reader who God is... the point of the bible is really to help its reader seek and find out who God is.

food for thought - about the Bible:

Trace the bible through 6000 years.... 6000 years of history. 40 Authors. 66 books. ONE story. ONE GOD.

think about it. even if you think that the bible is just a History Book, or some Collection of Wise Sayings, a Religous Book or even as what christians say, a Living Word... doesn't matter what you think. that's probably your closest (or one of your closest) bet to knowing who God is...

just some thinking to do.... the same God described by people as far back as 6000 years ago...

I'd be impressed if you could come up with a story and keep it the same for 1000 years.

and more impressed if you could keep your story going after 1000 years.

and even more impressed if you could predict where the story leads to in the next 1000 years. and even even more impressed if you could make sure all 40 authors were consistent throughout 6000 years.

Even if the bible's just a history book and all the miracles in it unbelievable... for one, I'd still believe in the God that all 40 authors wrote about... because they all wrote consistent accounts about the same God.

You know something?

I used to always ask the question about how God-inspired, perfect the bible can be.... did you know the bible was collated based on a church decision to collect different letters from different authors to be bound into a book. especially in the new testament, where there were letters that paul/peter/james/john wrote... and where some letters that these authors wrote were lost... was the bible incomplete? was it imperfect?

But that didn't matter at all, not at all. Because the bible wasn't about these authors... nor was it about the most detailed accuracy (still arguably, an extremely reliable source)... SO, all these letters and records were accounts of God... reading is about seeking God and it was about God... so why spend time arguing and debating over the bible... for one, I didn't myself have a better way of finding out about God. *do you..?

as a christian,

but one thing I find most difficult is seeking God. It's easy to know about God, and know that God loves, God cares, God's big, God's holy, God's everything Good and Perfect... but sometimes, I don't think i really know God... It's like knowing about Michael Jackson, but do you really know him?

a Christian 'Leader'

LEADERSHIP in Church

think about the word "SERVANT LEADERSHIP"... ... have you heard of this term before? There a a gazillion many christian "leadership" books on this...
so think you're a servant leader? think again... at least I thought I was.

A servant leader.... don't you think it is a paradox? which word "servant" or "leader" do we focus on? which word takes the limelight?

Maybe, what the bible really teaches us is Servanthood... and not so much Leadership. Leadership is a very secular word... a word that the bible never uses as often as Servanthood.

who, ever feels as good about being a servant as a leader? I would feel good about 'leadership'... maybe there are times I convinced myself I felt good about "serving" others in my leadership... but it's a subtle deception... like a mask... because if the "leadership" was taken away, and I'd been made a servant (lower than an ordinary member)... I'd find it hardER to serve... or grow as a christian. *at least for me it was harder in the shoes of a member than when you're in a position of "authority"!
in converse, "leaders" should always ask why is it so hard to get members to serve and grow? and how much easier is it for a leader to "serve" and "grow" himself? well, I found it so much easier to serve and grow as a 'leader'. so sometimes, it is good for leaders to to reduce your status to a servant or place yourselves in the shoes of your memebers.

what exactly is Servanthood? that's kinda opposite of what a Leader is.

again, "SERVANT" or "LEADER" paradox paradox

to SERVE actually means to give up your authority. In other words, to give up your status of 'leadership' or also, In other words - being a 'master over others'... to become a servant. it means to lay down your 'Authority' into the hands of others... to deny yourself... *think of a waiter... where would you ever find a waiter ordering a customer around?... think of a servant... where in the bible would a servant order his master around....
AND compare this to the secular idea of leadership... what kind of secular-world-like leadership dares to lay down their authority in the hands of those they serve? but didn't Jesus call us to SERVE one another? as a leader in the church, it may not be so much our responsibility to hold our authority over others as our responsibility to serve them.

so isn't servanthood quite the opposite of leadership? when leadership involves much of taking up of authority? to take the secular worldview of leadership and authority.... and call it "Servant Leadership"... but does that apply to church?

i find that in the church, its really about the giving up your Authority... not maintaining and ensuring that it holds strong. What really holds the church strong is the authority to 'serve' one another... what were all the gifts that were mentioned in Corinthians for? to serve one another...

The church doesn't really need leaders to "lead" as much as a leaders to "serve"... and to "serve" as an example to others.

you know? you don't need 100 cornerstones to build the church, you just need 1... but you need every brick to hold together, supporting each other and building each other up. if you place yourself in the position of a little 'cornerstone' or even if others see you as their little cornerstones'...? what happens when those little cornerstones crack? bricks do come crumbling down together with it.

for one, I'm inspired by people who 'serve' more than they 'lead'... and there's a stark difference between these 2 words... but made into a subtle difference in church. mixed, combined, and used as a single term "Servant Leadership", the stronger word "Leadership" seems to take the limelight... but i guess people can still tell the stark difference between a 'servant' and a 'master'.

sometimes, we think we are serving others, trying to play the good samaritan... sometimes, in our service, in spite of all good intentions, in actual fact we push people away, further away from God. you know, in church, leaders have a double responsibility. (1) to serve (2) to do it wisely.

as mentioned earlier, when a member decides to move on, to go elsewhere or even backslides... we've gotta ask ourselves...

*How many times is it because of what they found out in the Bible about Christianity? isn't it hard to have "tasted" what is good and throw it away?
*How many times is it because of some difficulty in their lives? isn't it easier to hold on to God in times of difficulty... who doesn't call to God for help esp in difficult times?
*and how many times is it because of Christians themselves? and the bible warns repeatedly and strongly against Christians stumbling others...

you know very often, christians that members look to, are often not their fellow cell group mates... the Christians that members are mostly influenced by are the church leaders... these include *the pastors, the cell group leaders, the church committee. when people stumble, many stumble because of the leadership*... its a heavy responsibility on leaders.

common traits across churches that may be unhealthy and not wise to do in some occasions:

1) Leaders "seeking advice" from many other leaders about their members... about things like "members who are not doing well" *the effect is almost similar to gossip in the crudest of terms* I don't deny there's a time to consult a some"one" for advice on how to help the person* but before seeking help from many other leaders... possibly... it's wise to always ask yourself, "what if my 'member' was present and heard what I had to say to other leaders... would that be okay? is it neccessary to let that many people know? can i keep the person's identity a secret *confidentiality?"

2) Leaders having pre-conceived ideas about their members. "XXXXXX hasn't come to chr today, maybe he hasn't set his priorities right. mmm possibly, isn't doing too well too..." (heard this before?) it's wise to find out more. don't think or assume. same cirumsatnces for different situations and different people mean different things.... e.g. inquistiveness and questioning can be mistaken for rebellion... passion/having initiative can be mistaken for pride...

3) Leaders knowing what is the wise thing to do. Sometimes leaders don't know. Sometimes, it's not exactly wise. Sometimes, all leaders have to do is to ask their members what they think they should do. Sometimes, when members don't do what leaders want them to, it's not necessarily NOT WISE, nor is it rebellion (unless it's sin according to the bible)... sometimes, leaders have to give this "responsibility" back to the members. *I mean members do learn from their mistakes if an action is foolish, and leaders are meant to serve by example (Not control)*
and some things are not about Wisdom... a lot of things are just neutral *to each his own*.... Sometimes, its wise to say "I don't Know.." and sometimes it is NOT wise to use the phrase, "I've prayed about it... and this should be the way..." because, members do pray too, and sometimes they feel it should be done another way... who's right then?

MEMBERSHIP in Church

In the church, while there's an emphasis on submitting to authority (for members),

there an equal emphasis for those in authority to become 'servants' (for its leaders).

*while there are times where the use that authority is necessary, i'd say that as leaders in church , one should try using less of it, and more of service.

if you're a member and you thought your leader was bad... think again... if you thought that it's easy to be a "leader"... than what sort of "leader" would you be? on the other hand, members sometimes, themselves make the best examples for leaders in service. Didn't the bible say, the least will be the greatest? Then, why should even a member look upon a leader as even a 'bad' leader? don't you already hold the position of "leadership" as members in service of one another?

So in your service for one another, that's true leadership. It's not the position, and not about the people that the church puts over you... yes, there's an authority in church. but more than just political, real 'servant leadership' starts at the bottom. Where your church leader is lacking, serve in that area to fill up the gaps... be of service, and do it out of love.

Love your Neighbour as yourself...
and Love God with your all...

2009-09-16T22:24:00.004+08:00

real pride. hi to my pride.

TRUTHFULLY, you know, real pride is such a subtle thing...
and prideful people are usually almost always blind to their pride. i'm no exception...
if only, somehow, we could all switch into a third person perspective, and look back at ourselves... and see how prideful we really are...
sometimes, its not even in the obvious things you do... (people who are obviously proud, are usually unlikeable... but in fact, these are just people with low EQ)
(and for people with a much Higher EQ....) sometimes, its just the feelings we harbour deep inside... PRIDE...

like the feeling of *"yes yes i'm super smart lah... i can answer those questions that my tutor asks..." or less obvious, or just a simple comparison with someone else... that makes you feel better... "*oh i know the answer to that question that he can't answer"... like just feeling comforted when you scored badly in an exam *"and so did someone else too...." or less obvious, just complaining inside about another person, and how he/she could have done better... "let me, just let me do it... i can..." or just "wanting to know how another person did in his/her paper... good results? bad results?... to gain a little reassurance"

so subtle. we get these feelings all the time, at least I do... and I don't realise it's pride...
and when you think about it, it's kinda digusting... i mean, if to feel like that against friends and the people I ought to love... you know. self-reflection is good. i reflect upon the times I was proud... you know, after looking at my past journal entries, and think of many things i've done and felt in the past... *ahhh. i cringe. haha. well, i admit, i'm was/am still a very proud person... i'm figuring out how to change.... its hard for prideful people to love others....
[really... prideful people, who are always comparing themselves with others, can't possibly really love their friends/neighbours] so anw, i hope to love the friends around me more...

***and today, a group of friends and I celebrated a friend's birthday during a supper gathering... the 'birthday boy' gave a very insightful sharing... that's really very cool... talked about how important really, is relationships with the people around you... and so much so that sometimes, always fighting for the truth you know, may not be always a wise thing to do... there's always an appropriate time, situation and context... and do it thoughtfully and out of love... and personally I find that, even if, despite everything you try (in gentleness and love), people don't listen/agree with you... continue to love them, and remember the way you were before too... and remember still, very importantly, your friendships/ties with them and so, a profound statement, that i agree with..."when you love someone, you'll tell him the truth... but when you know the truth, you'll love that person all the more".

and it's something very important that i'll learn from... :)

-jordan

M-18

2009-04-14T14:31:00.025+08:00

bewaRE. M-18 [for the conservatives]

hi blog.

today I decided to update... I just came back from a church camp... and it was awesome...
and the topic for the church camp, at first thought seemed wierd... "SEXUALITY"

guys and gals and married peeps... and there's stuff on homosexuality... and dating... and yada yada... well, the camp was awesome because of everything in it

The people. The campsite. My photographs. and most of all, what I learnt through this camp...

photos first... these paint a thousand words.

and of course, camp had many surprises.

through this camp, one of my friends decided to get together with another of my friends...! haha. super happy for them :D and especially when both are friends who are really close to me... it's called double happiness. hahahaha

nowww... this is how I was told about the news...
my friend approached me while I was talking to another friend... and say he needed to tell me something... and brought me away from the conversation I was having. so I followed him... and it went like this... ...

"hey jordan, I think I have to tell you something... as a friend... "

I thought... "DIE la... sounds like something really really really serious... what did i do wrong..."
I mean seriously I thought it was something I did wrong...

but then, after my friend told me he became "attached" to another of my friend... I was like.... "surprised, speechless, smiling..." haha. it was ExcITIng news.... *thinking and just thinking "how cool is that?" haha. and when the news spread... and mann did it spread fast.
so I was happy, and even so happier for them cos of what I learnt from camp...well.... good, surprising news like that takes a while for reality to sink in. haha. and I congratulated them! not like marriage congratulations, but still, to a Godly relationship that looks towards marriage.

so to summarize what I learnt in camp,
It's good to be married, It's better to be single BUT in both,
do it in/for devotion to God... christ-centeredness.

and we spend 4days3nights looking at how women, and men should relate to one another... and different roles, some of which seem super controversial... but well, I learnt how these could actually fall into place perfectly. and the bible studies were intensed... questions after questions... and I learnt that biblical principles are really important.

for me, i think i went to camp with rather different intentions from people who are seeking to find a partner/going into a GBR/married couples... I wanted to learn about Godliness and the good of being single... wierd? haha. i kinda guessed most people are interested in getting into a relationship now, from the response of people signing up for an elective called "dating"... well, I signed up for the other electives instead... "singleness" and "Godly men"... in which, i found the 2nd elective really really good. many things i learnt from there...

and you see... I'm single... ***I am NOT advertising my single status... haha***
and i think now, it's really good to stay single, at least for now... cos it gives me so much more time to do many many many things... especially when half my week is gone just going to church/biblestudies/christian workshops and stuff. ANYWAY, how often can you ever find yourself free from the burden of "relationships?" but of course, when you're in it, everything goes... and you're willing to hold on to this "burden" or "love" depends on how u see it.... I guess as a single, you see it as a burden... as a BGR-wannabe or those already in a relationship.. it's love... for now, i'm really satisfied being single. haha. it comes with a feeling of "CAREFREE" ness that one won't ever get once you go in a relationship... and I thank God for that.

soo, anway...

Mind the taboo language...
the word "Sex" has never ever been mentioned more in a single day... definitely never in church, or even in my life than during this camp... haha. but then, even though it's a taboo word... I guess, the church still need to address issues on Sex.

I'd say, the word "Sex" alone was mentioned more than a few hundred times a day... ... to indicate gender... to indicate sex... haha. well, so much so that you become acustomed to saying, "Sex"... not that I mean we say it in our everyday language... but when you get a question, "What is marriage for?"... we become comfortable reducing the answer

"Oh... you see marriage is... Mm...for... *ahem.... when a guy... and a girl.... .... .... ... yea... ... you know... that one lor.... for that one.... " cough* ahem... coughs... blush blush... cough*

to plainly

"SEX"....

of course, sex is just one of the reasons on top of holiness, and partnership, devotion to God... and sex here, I mean in a godly christian context!

so other things I learnt:
1) SEX before marriage is not permissable
2) Only 1 single partner -> no promiscuity (you see, in the bible, it talks about the binding effects of sex between a couple, and hence the phrase... 2 become 1...)
3) being single is better as you can devote more of your life to God
4) being married is a gift from God... use it in holiness.
5) Roles of man and women (these issues are controversial, but true)
6) Homosexuality and Homosexuals

during the Question and Answer night, there were many questions being asked about, "How can I ask a girl I like out? How do I let the girl/guy know I like her? What if I like this person, and this person is already going out with my friend...?" haha. these were questions that brought laughter and fun for this camp session. and but, it reached one last question....
that really touched me... it goes something like that...

"Some of us have already gone too far too early in our relationships, and learning more about these things can only lead to more despair... makes you feel worse only... especially with what we have read in the bible..."

there are people who have done things wrongly, and people who feel guilty or feel condemned in many many many ways because.... just because the bible so easily points out your sins.

you know... the bible really exposes us, and lets us see how wrong and how sinful we can be... and it becomes so easy to start the whole "condemnation" process.

a friend told me in camp, and said that he knew someone who was a homosexual, but was too ashamed to come to church because she/he knew it was sinful... it just shows how sin itself can push us away from God... and sometimes, it not just ourselves, but even through churches who condemn sinners... ACTIVELY... "these are the minority of churches..."

and even through churches who do it passively and even unknowingly...

I mean, everything in church is so "perfect" and everyone's "holy"... that to say that "I sinned, I stole, I cheated, I slept with a prostitute, I'm homosexual, I'm not a virgin anymore, I'm ... ... help me overcome this" is soooo taboo that people shun it and keep it to themselves. and because sometimes the church becomes too PerFect, it causes "sinners" to run away... *while I'm not saying embrace the sin... I really want to see a church where people are honest, and where people don't hide behind a fascade of "holiness". Church-Pride can cause these things to happen... well, paul says, "confess your sins to one another..." i guess, by not confessing your sins to one another and keeping it behind a veil... can make the church too "perfect"

I guess, this is one important thing that I learnt through this camp... to be open about topics like that, and even topics like "SEX" which is a taboo one... probably most taboo of all sins being sexual immorality... and to let each and every person in the church know that some things are not a personal struggle... it's a struggle even common to christians... so non-christians who find themselve suffering in sin, can now find a place to go to... to help them overcome it.
chrisians and non-christians alike, still fall to sin time and again... so christians are no more "perfect" than non-christians, and only "perfected" because of what Jesus has done... and nothing we ever do by ourselves, can make us say we are more "perfect" than anyone else..

and then in reply to that last question,
Ps. Josh said, "it's never too late... just look at what Jesus has done for you on the cross... " you see, how much God loves you and I... ... some people just don't get it, some people just havent heard... but Jesus already paid the price for every wrong thing that has happened in your life and every wrong thing you will do in future. so... "it's never too late..."

I don't know.. but when I heard that, I felt really really thankful for what Jesus has done... and especially when I thought about these people who just needed to know

"it's never too late".

2 things.

2009-03-06T22:56:00.006+08:00

1. I bought a 5 dollar table that looks awesome!

it was a steal man. the local library is selling its furniture and books off for major renovations... 5 books for 1 dollar! can u believe it? its cheaper than toliet paper! bad thing is, I don't really like to read... haha. tho' maybe i should just buy a few books.

2. I renovated my room.... 1 and half hours of work... and... it was all worth it...

that's my LPU's Jersey... that I stuck onto the door.
And there's a map of sydney and all the bus tickets I have consumed... each bus ticket has its recorded dates and memories of travelling and exploring sydney :D in 2008

and now, my Bed, and my Wall... COSY...
condusive...

now now now, dontchya just wanna fall asleep?

2009-01-19T02:02:00.002+08:00

Sebab jika kamu mengaku dengan mulutmu, bahwa Yesus adalah tuhan, dan percaya dalam hatimu, bahwa Allah telah membangkitkan Dia dari antara orang mati, maka kamu akan yang diselamatkan.
Romans 10:9

Sebab (because) jika (if) kamu (you) mengaku (claimed/confess) dengan (with) mulutmu (your mouth), bahwa (that) Yesus (Jesus) adalah (is) tuhan (lord), dan (and) percaya (believe) dalam (in) hatimu (your heart), bahwa (that) Allah (God) telah (has) membangkitkan (raised) Dia (Him) dari (from) antara (among) orang (person) mati (dead), maka (then) kamu (you) akan yang (will be) diselamatkan (rescued/saved).

Vocab:
Sebab = For/because
Mengaku = confess/claim
dengan = with
hatimu = hati kamu (your heart)
mulutmu = mulut kamu (your mouth)
diselamatkan = saved
kamu = you
percaya = believe
dalam = in
Dia = Ia = He/She/Him/Her

Romans 10:9 (New International Version)

That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

2009-01-19T01:41:00.002+08:00

Jika Allah di Pihak Kita, Siapakah yang akan Melawan kita?
Romans 8:31

Translation:
Jika (If) Allah (God) di (at/in) Pihak (side) Kita (our), Siapakah (who?) yang (that) akan (will/be) Melawan (against) kita (us)?

Vocab:
Jika (if)
di (at/in)
Pihak (side)
Kita (our)
Siapa (who) -kah (who?)
yang (that)
akan (will be)
Melawan (against)

NIV:
If God is for us, who can be against us?

Sebab, barangsiapa yang berseru kepada nama Tuhan, akan diselamatkan.
Romans 10:13

Translation:
Sebab (because), barangsiapa yang (anyone that) berseru (call/appeal) kepada (to) nama (name) Tuhan (LORD), akan (will) diselamatkan (rescued).

sebab = because
siapa = who
berseru = appeal
barangsiapa = whoever
yang = that
diselamatkan = rescued
kepada = to
nama = name

NIV
For "whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved."

new year post - highlights 2008

2009-01-11T13:33:00.019+08:00

Karena (because) begitu (how very/so) besar (big/huge/enormous) kasih (love) Allah (God) akan (about/regarding) dunia (world) ini (this), Sehingga (until/up to) Ia (He) telah (already) mengaruniakan (gift) Anak-Nya (his Son) yang (that) tunggal (one and only), suppaya (so that) setiap (each/every) orang (person) yang (that) percaya (believe/faith) kepada-Nya (in Him) tidak (Not) binasa (destroyed/perish) melainkan (but/rather) beroleh (have) hidup (life) yang (that) kekal (eternal).

John 3:16 (Translation from NIV)

what better way to go forward into the new year than to start by looking back to thank God for the past year.

It's already the 14th of Janurary, and time really flies... really does. I've yet to come up with new year resolutions, but i guess, there are may things that I should be thankful for looking back in 2008 first.

I thank God for my family, for my school, for my friends, and for Church... I remember the time when I first decided that I'd be going to Australia to study. It wasn't an easy decision, perhaps even, the hardest decision i had to make ever... yet. And but I remember how God was faithful to answer prayer after prayer... when I asked for accomodations, He provided... when I asked for finances, He provided... when I asked if it was the right decision, He answered... when I asked for food, He provided... yup. *Jehovah Jireh a.k.a. God provides :D

talking about food, on my very first day in Sydney, by the time i entered my room, it was about 12+pm... was so tired, I fell asleep... and as it was, it became dark by the time it was around 7pm... Intially I wanted to roam around to find a place to buy dinner before it got dark (** I skipped lunch to rest and only had a muffin on the plane breakfast earlier). But who knew the sky turned dark that fast... and I woke up at 7+pm.

And as I looked out my window, it was pitch darkness... at least the streets were. I didn't have a map, nor was I intending to go out just in case I lost my way, and couldn't find my way back... that'll be way way way way way too risky, i thought. so i decided to try get some more sleep & maybe it'd turn morning quickly.

9.30 p.m.
I woke up because my stomach hurt really badly, i guess it was gastric.... at least i think it was... and so I woke up because of the pain, and took 2 tablets of Antacids (things you eat when u get gastric). and I thanked God I had the medicine, cos it made my stomach feel a tad' better. but the pain didn't go... it was still unbearable as it was and I had to literally curl in bed to try ease the pain.

and well, the pain didn't make things any better for me.
well, guess what? I felt miserable... i guess its a normal feeling to have being foreign in a foreign place... alone... no family... no friends...yet. *at that time I hadn't really gotten over leaving the comforts of home, family and friends...and worst still... I was hungry... and my stomach was pain.

never told anyone yet, but probably, that night was one of my down'est moments in my life. seeeeroooiouuussly.
*so what do people do in down moments?
... I prayed... asked God to take away the pain, cos it was quite unbearable. so then, I turned off the lights went back to my bed... I tried to sleep it over... but I couldn't.

around 5 minutes passed...

and someone knocked on my door... ***u know this is one of the prayers where God answered almost instantly.

my lights were already turned off... and normally people don't normally wake people up when they are "sleeping". but my landlady called for my name through the sliding door grills... As it was, I got up to open the door and guess what? In her right hand was a plate full... FULL.. with meat, vegetables, curry... and asked me if I had eaten my dinner and in her left hand, 6 packs of YEOs green tea... she also gave me a whole tissue box of tissues to compliment the meal. That night, I ate so much that I felt bloated... and the gastric pain went away too...

and saying grace/thanking God for the food that day was like no other day in my life *i was touched... grateful... have u ever been so thankful that u were moved to tears? wierder still... have you ever said grace with tears? it was my first.

-------------------------and so that was how God started my year in Australia.

around 4-5 months before i set foot on Australia.

i remember when I accepted UNSW offer... perhaps the biggest concern to me was the finances. it was crazy ***studying Medicine overseas... is crazy when it comes to money.

well, i did ask God for money... and He provided.
it was not so much that my parents couldn't afford it... but i thought that it would bring about a huge burden on them... and it could have been.

& i remember a day when a pastor asked specifically for those who are worrying about finances and are wanting to go overseas to study... it was kind'a like an altar call thingy and i felt that God say that He'd provide... I raised my hand... and so there were 2 people who raised their hands, me and another person. and guess what? as it was, I stood up and went to the front.

and the most unexpected, unexpected, unexpected happened... not a miracle though'. the pastor asked around for people who would give a love offering... suddenly my world crumbled. haha. maybe not crumbled crumbled. I told the pastor that it was not like that, I didn't want the love offering... I mean, all i wanted was for him to pray, and me to trust God to provide. I really didn't need the money and so, I went back to my seat. at that moment, i thought I heard God wrongly...

so this was how God was in control all the while.

it was a few years ago, when she bought a shop on a rather 'rash' and some may say 'reckless' decision from an Auction. unknown to me, or my mum, or my dad, or anyone, this decision was one that God allowed and made use of... at that time, when my mum bought the shop, it didn't mean my parents had the money to pay for it... so there were details like rent that would be used to pay the loan... property prices didn't seem to do so well in the time after... seemed like a rather bad choice to me. remember how property prices weren't doing so well, and it stayed low for a long long long time after the property market crashed somewhere in 2004-2005?

but remember how the enBloc craze that took place somewhere in the 2nd half of 2007? Suddenly, everyone wanted to enbloc. property prices went up. and went up. for a short time. a really timely time. one day somewhere in nov-december 2007, my mum recieved an sms to say that there was a buyer for the shop... and on december 2007, the shop was sold. turns out, the money made from the sale was enough to pay for my overseas education and that the amount my parent's would have to pay to top it up would be equivalent to a local uni fee.

and so, it was about 3 months before coming to Australia (december 2007) that the finances came in through that decision my mum made on that shop.

and that was how God answered my prayer...

-------------------------and so that was how God prepared my year before I went Australia.

and actually, there's so many much much more stuff to say... but then, it'd be too much to write. haha.

and for 2008, i thank God for many many things,

like how I met super duper friends like Jerming in UNSW too, who would always so willingly drive me to and fro to church on sundays... really a great friend and fun to be with with. really smart and inspiring too... and Dina who would cook the most wonderful meals ever and invite us over... these are the people who God placed in my life that I really really thank Him for.

and of course, all my UNSW friends... who become almost like a 2nd family... and there i met friends who i know will be friends for life... not the kind of friends who's distant... there's medicine friends, even an anomaly from malaysia.. haha... there's FOCUS friends... there's OCF friends... really really cool people. i guess being overseas, you become better friends with people around you. *2nd family!

and besides everything-Australia... singapore's where home is really.

of course i really thank God most for my family. Guess what? my parents are involved in ministry... mum's helping to run an indonesian fellowship in COSbt, and dad's in prision ministry... and my sis who's already earning hard-earned money but really generous... i could ask her to treat me to a meal anytime and she would. hahaha. but i haven't. my brothers too for being there and doing random stuff like swimming together.

and singapore friends. esp secondary school friends. how many people actually keep in touch almost every weeek with their sec school friends... well, they make great friends who always play soccer together. i'd never ever choose to be in no other secondary school cos if so, i'd not known them. well, we've got a gang, its called LPU. what it stands for? :X
and YI friends... thank God for peeps like eugeneo, ken and cYu, chap, kasiang that make church a real joy. and the wonderful gifts from GOandPassionates for my 21st bday... a really awesome bunch of people :D

---------------------------------------
but of course, this year was not without its share of downturns...but then, Isaiah 40:31 says

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

like this verse, there are times where those who have their hopes in God can soar like an eagle... that's carefree'ness... and other times where they gather every last ounce of energy to take the next step forward so that they don't faint. it's a contrast.

but the most important part is that God will give you strength to go through these different stages of life. it's not a promise that life's going to be sweet and easy always. but it's a promise that you'll always have strength to move forward.

I must admit that when I first started this year 2008 in Australia, it was just like Soaring. I was so sure of everything. As the year passed, it became more like "running-not-weary" than soaring... but I thank God yet that it's not "walking-not-faint" yet.

and so, the purpose of this post... to remember a little of how God has always been faithful to me, and remember it well.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

so some upcoming new year resolutions!!!!!

1.
I'm gonna learn Bahasa Indonesia. don't ask why... cos I don't know. haha. just know it'd be useful in future. and what better way to learn it than from a English-Indonesian Bible and Dictionary.

2.
Learn piano (jazz/blues piano -somebody teach me). i learnt that it's all about feeling the notes... that when u associate "notes" with "feelings", you hit the right note more often than not... and this video? i cant do it... sian

3.
Guitar. Somebody teach me something.

4.
maybe write songs.

5.
do much better in Studies when term starts

6.
Find a job when i go back to study in Australia?

7.
finish reading the bible by June

8.
start revising the things I've learnt in the past year now *probably the hardest resolution*

update

2008-11-26T01:47:00.013+08:00

just to whet your appetites :D with some developing CuTlinary SkiLLs...
well, australia taught me to be a better chef in one year than a doctor... haha. but that's for the time being... that's why it takes 6 YEARS to become a doctor, and which is still not enough to become a good one... to become a good doctor requires more years of training, experience and passion, and compassion [keeping your heart soft]. And so, i think its much easier to become a chef than a doctor because for one, you'll definitely learn from experience [cook a bad meal, and you'll SUFFER for it... hahaha. which of course reminds me of the time I cooked ''crispy'' hard rice because i didn't know how to use the rice cooker]... And not to mention, INSTANT food packet preparations and the AMAZING VARIETY of sauces you can get off the shelves... cooking's never been easier as compared to 50 years back.

so anyway, as a part time mini-chef student, an introduction of the dishes from the top,

1) Omelette with 3-day old Soy Sauce BeEf [minced beef]. well, why 3 day old? cause the fermentation process takes about 3 days... haha. kidding. i kinda cook ONLY once for about 3-4 days... and so i get tired of eating the same dish again and again and over again... so normally byt the 3rd day, i'd take the dish and cook it into something else [or give it away... hahaha]... you can make it into a lot of different dishes, like OMeLette or Fried Rice, or even fried noodles... haha.

2) TanDori ChickeN [i think]... . but i cooked it not with an oven, but on a stove, with a pan, aluminum foil.... i didn't have the most available oven around [oven's packed with pots and pans...], so i wrapped the food in aluminum foil, placed it on the pan, and put a lid over it... tAdaa.

3) sweet and sour pOrk. well, i've been cooking this dish for the umpteen time... but this time
round, i decided not to scrimp on NOT getting pineapples... cos normally, pineapples are quite expensive, and to me, quite a waste of money and not a necessity [who eats the pineapples from a sweet sour pork dish anyway... haha] but oh well, this was sorta like my last self-cooked dish in AuStralia and so i decided, be extravagant, just a little bit.... and guess what? the pineapples made a difference... it added flavour, and made it sweeter...

and so, here are photos... and as the saying goes, a photo says a thousand words...
then again, don't trust photos...
looks are always better than... say... taste? haha. seriously, 99% of the time, it doesn't taste as good as it looks... not to mention, i've got a canon camera that takes wonderful photos.
and with wonderful photos...it makes everything look as if it tastes decieving wonderful. haha

well, since i came back to singapore, I haven't really gotten to cook for anyone yet... yet...

yea... mmmm... seee...
this is the reason why....

i've got a maid, who's an excellent cook. really thank God for her, now that meals at home are really really good. she makes the best western food, home-made pizzas, german potato salads... YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMiEee. sooo haha. i'm sorry i didn't get to cook for anyone yet... well, i've just gotta admit... her cooking is fantastic.

yea, so, that's the good part. we've never actually got a good enough cook for the house besides my mum.. and but she's busy normally at work. and really thank God for getting a good maid. so, now, its so much better and easier for my mum :D

oh yah.

and I've got an ice-cream maker from Australia, and now we can make all kinds of ice-cream [HOME MADE!!!!!!!] [Geleteria 8200 - Sunbeam]. Well, it was a good buy... and now, we're experimenting on different ingredients... there's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many kinds of COMBinations you can do with ICeCream.... PEACH, LYCHEE, CHOCOlATE, CoFfEe, GreeNTea, GrEeen ApplE, GraPes, AloeVERa...la la la la.. and the good thing is, it makes the ice cream in about an hour!

well, you can't get this ice-cream maker in Singapore, and so I got it from Australia... it was literally blood-sweat and much tears lugging the 12 K.G. box from the shop to my Sydney house... i literally died.... haha. but it was worth every drop of sweat now. :D

QuIet Time A.K.A mini-Semon

haven't done this in AGES. blame it on busy'ness, exams, blah blah... well, its actually laziness and a lack of time management.

so anyway since I'm back, they say an idle mind is the devil's workshop... and that's so true.
so i decided to pick up a few things...
1) Jazz Piano
2) Jazz guiTar or something different
3) A different language
4) Continue writing mini-sermons

ISAIAH chapter 58
" Shout with the voice of a trumpet blast. Shout aloud! Don't be timid. Tell my people Israel of their sins! Yet they act so pious! They come to the Temple every day and seem delighted to learn all about me. They act like a righteous nation that would never abandon the laws of its God. They ask me to take action on their behalf pretending they want to be near me.
'We have fasted before you!' they say. ' Why aren't you impressed?'. We have been very hard on ourselves and you don't even notice it!' " Verses 1-3

you see, there's so much danger in being ''Christian'' with the inverted commas.

reading/studying/investigating the bible is no doubt, IMPORTANT... but what does God really want? Knowledge does not help unless it changes your heart... unless knowledge turns into conviction... You see, even being interested/delighted in reading the bible is not what God wants... many people are so interested in reading and studying God word, and become experts at it in bible school...

verse 6, "No, this is the kind of fasting I want. Free those who are wrongly imprisoned; lighten the burden of those who work for you. Let the oppressed go free, and remove the chans that bind people. Share your food with the hungry and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them and do not hide from relatives who need your help."

Matthew 15:16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

so it isn't just about knowing the bible, nor is it just about fasting and pious acts.
it's about glorifying God... it's about bringing a good name to God before men... that's evangelism, that's being an ambassador of christ...

and like the 2 greatest commandments say
Love God
Love Men
and these 2 are not mutually exclusive...
one cannot do without the other, and ESpEcially when Jesus already paid the price for salvation... You can't love people and not tell them about Jesus...and Yet, you can't love Jesus and not obey His commandments...

So my favorite example from the old testament on why christians should evangelise comes from Jeremiah...

"So these messages from the Lord have made me a household joke, But if I say, 'I'll never mention the Lord or speak in his name, his word burns in my heart like a fire. It's like a fire in my bones! I am worn our trying to hold it in! I can't do it!" Jeremiah 20v8b-9

If you read Jeremiah, he loved both God and his nation, Israel...

There were times Jeremeiah even wept for them.. pleaded with God... that's was his love for his people. and you see, the messages God gave Jeremiah were as much messages of Warnings as it were messages of Salvation.

Going back to ISAIAH chapter 58 v 1 "Shout with the voice of a trumpet blast. Shout aloud! Don't be timid. Tell my people Israel of their sins!"

Just like Isaiah, Jeremiah had to do the same... both of them were called to be courageous, not be timid... to warn the people... to bring a message of salvation... Just like christians today too.
And keep this gospel message ONLY in your heart, and just like jeremiah says,
"it wears you out trying to hold it in"...
even if the reason for holding it in is 'timidity', or an underlying pride.

so you see, a christian cannot take the middle ground... it's one way or another... scary eh.

and so,
i'm not the most perfect christian out there, and definitely not the best example to follow... sometimes I feel that I lack a lot as a Christian... especially in the areas of evangelism... in the areas of NOT compromising... in the areas of Glorifying God...
and it's not the easiest thing to overcome... but i guess, a very fundamental question I ask myself constantly is "What matters most?"

so still, i pray that God will use me to reach my friends and the world around me...
and let not pride nor timidity, nor procrastination stop God from using me... and you too.

:D

amazing conversations

2008-10-10T22:38:00.003+08:00

Then the Lord answered Job from the whirlwind:

“Who is this that questions my wisdom
with such ignorant words?
Brace yourself like a man,
because I have some questions for you,
and you must answer them.

“Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?
Tell me, if you know so much.
Who determined its dimensions
and stretched out the surveying line?
What supports its foundations,
and who laid its cornerstone
as the morning stars sang together
and all the angels shouted for joy?

“Who kept the sea inside its boundaries
as it burst from the womb,
and as I clothed it with clouds
and wrapped it in thick darkness?
For I locked it behind barred gates,
limiting its shores.
I said, ‘This far and no farther will you come.
Here your proud waves must stop!’

“Have you ever commanded the morning to appear
and caused the dawn to rise in the east?
Have you made daylight spread to the ends of the earth,
to bring an end to the night’s wickedness?
As the light approaches,
the earth takes shape like clay pressed beneath a seal;
it is robed in brilliant colors.
The light disturbs the wicked
and stops the arm that is raised in violence.

“Have you explored the springs from which the seas come?
Have you explored their depths?
Do you know where the gates of death are located?
Have you seen the gates of utter gloom?
Do you realize the extent of the earth?
Tell me about it if you know!

“Where does light come from,
and where does darkness go?
Can you take each to its home?
Do you know how to get there?
But of course you know all this!
For you were born before it was all created,
and you are so very experienced!

“Have you visited the storehouses of the snow
or seen the storehouses of hail?
(I have reserved them as weapons for the time of trouble,
for the day of battle and war.)
Where is the path to the source of light?
Where is the home of the east wind?

“Who created a channel for the torrents of rain?
Who laid out the path for the lightning?
Who makes the rain fall on barren land,
in a desert where no one lives?
Who sends rain to satisfy the parched ground
and make the tender grass spring up?

“Does the rain have a father?
Who gives birth to the dew?
Who is the mother of the ice?
Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens?
For the water turns to ice as hard as rock,
and the surface of the water freezes.

“Can you direct the movement of the stars—
binding the cluster of the Pleiades
or loosening the cords of Orion?
Can you direct the sequence of the seasons
or guide the Bear with her cubs across the heavens?
Do you know the laws of the universe?
Can you use them to regulate the earth?

“Can you shout to the clouds
and make it rain?
Can you make lightning appear
and cause it to strike as you direct?
Who gives intuition to the heart
and instinct to the mind?
Who is wise enough to count all the clouds?
Who can tilt the water jars of heaven
when the parched ground is dry
and the soil has hardened into clods?

“Can you stalk prey for a lioness
and satisfy the young lions’ appetites
as they lie in their dens
or crouch in the thicket?
Who provides food for the ravens
when their young cry out to God
and wander about in hunger?

“Do you know when the wild goats give birth?
Have you watched as deer are born in the wild?
Do you know how many months they carry their young?
Are you aware of the time of their delivery?
They crouch down to give birth to their young
and deliver their offspring.
Their young grow up in the open fields,
then leave home and never return.

“Who gives the wild donkey its freedom?
Who untied its ropes?
I have placed it in the wilderness;
its home is the wasteland.
It hates the noise of the city
and has no driver to shout at it.
The mountains are its pastureland,
where it searches for every blade of grass.

"Will the wild ox consent to being tamed?
Will it spend the night in your stall?
Can you hitch a wild ox to a plow?
Will it plow a field for you?
Given its strength, can you trust it?
Can you leave and trust the ox to do your work?
Can you rely on it to bring home your grain
and deliver it to your threshing floor?

“The ostrich flaps her wings grandly,
but they are no match for the feathers of the stork.
She lays her eggs on top of the earth,
letting them be warmed in the dust.
She doesn’t worry that a foot might crush them
or a wild animal might destroy them.
She is harsh toward her young,
as if they were not her own.
She doesn’t care if they die.
For God has deprived her of wisdom.
He has given her no understanding.
But whenever she jumps up to run,
she passes the swiftest horse with its rider.

“Have you given the horse its strength
or clothed its neck with a flowing mane?
Did you give it the ability to leap like a locust?
Its majestic snorting is terrifying!
It paws the earth and rejoices in its strength
when it charges out to battle.
It laughs at fear and is unafraid.
It does not run from the sword.
The arrows rattle against it,
and the spear and javelin flash.
It paws the ground fiercely
and rushes forward into battle when the ram’s horn blows.
It snorts at the sound of the horn.
It senses the battle in the distance.
It quivers at the captain’s commands and the noise of battle.

“Is it your wisdom that makes the hawk soar
and spread its wings toward the south?
Is it at your command that the eagle rises
to the heights to make its nest?
It lives on the cliffs,
making its home on a distant, rocky crag.
From there it hunts its prey,
keeping watch with piercing eyes.
Its young gulp down blood.
Where there’s a carcass, there you’ll find it.”

Then the Lord said to Job,

“Do you still want to argue with the Almighty?
You are God’s critic, but do you have the answers?”

Then Job replied to the Lord,

“I am nothing—how could I ever find the answers?
I will cover my mouth with my hand.
I have said too much already.
I have nothing more to say.”

Then the Lord answered Job from the whirlwind:

“Brace yourself like a man,
because I have some questions for you,
and you must answer them.

“Will you discredit my justice
and condemn me just to prove you are right?
Are you as strong as God?
Can you thunder with a voice like his?
All right, put on your glory and splendor,
your honor and majesty.
Give vent to your anger.
Let it overflow against the proud.
Humiliate the proud with a glance;
walk on the wicked where they stand.
Bury them in the dust.
Imprison them in the world of the dead.
Then even I would praise you,
for your own strength would save you.

“Take a look at Behemoth,
which I made, just as I made you.
It eats grass like an ox.
See its powerful loins
and the muscles of its belly.
Its tail is as strong as a cedar.
The sinews of its thighs are knit tightly together.
Its bones are tubes of bronze.
Its limbs are bars of iron.
It is a prime example of God’s handiwork,
and only its Creator can threaten it.
The mountains offer it their best food,
where all the wild animals play.
It lies under the lotus plants,
hidden by the reeds in the marsh.
The lotus plants give it shade
among the willows beside the stream.
It is not disturbed by the raging river,
not concerned when the swelling Jordan rushes around it.
No one can catch it off guard
or put a ring in its nose and lead it away.

“Can you catch Leviathan with a hook
or put a noose around its jaw?
Can you tie it with a rope through the nose
or pierce its jaw with a spike?
Will it beg you for mercy
or implore you for pity?
Will it agree to work for you,
to be your slave for life?
Can you make it a pet like a bird,
or give it to your little girls to play with?
Will merchants try to buy it
to sell it in their shops?
Will its hide be hurt by spears
or its head by a harpoon?
If you lay a hand on it,
you will certainly remember the battle that follows.
You won’t try that again!
No, it is useless to try to capture it.
The hunter who attempts it will be knocked down.
And since no one dares to disturb it,
who then can stand up to me?
Who has given me anything that I need to pay back?
Everything under heaven is mine.

“I want to emphasize Leviathan’s limbs
and its enormous strength and graceful form.
Who can strip off its hide,
and who can penetrate its double layer of armor?
Who could pry open its jaws?
For its teeth are terrible!
Its scales are like rows of shields
tightly sealed together.
They are so close together
that no air can get between them.
Each scale sticks tight to the next.
They interlock and cannot be penetrated.

“When it sneezes, it flashes light!
Its eyes are like the red of dawn.
Lightning leaps from its mouth;
flames of fire flash out.
Smoke streams from its nostrils
like steam from a pot heated over burning rushes.
Its breath would kindle coals,
for flames shoot from its mouth.

“The tremendous strength in Leviathan’s neck
strikes terror wherever it goes.
Its flesh is hard and firm
and cannot be penetrated.
Its heart is hard as rock,
hard as a millstone.
When it rises, the mighty are afraid,
gripped by terror.
No sword can stop it,
no spear, dart, or javelin.
Iron is nothing but straw to that creature,
and bronze is like rotten wood.
Arrows cannot make it flee.
Stones shot from a sling are like bits of grass.
Clubs are like a blade of grass,
and it laughs at the swish of javelins.
Its belly is covered with scales as sharp as glass.
It plows up the ground as it drags through the mud.

“Leviathan makes the water boil with its commotion.
It stirs the depths like a pot of ointment.
The water glistens in its wake,
making the sea look white.
Nothing on earth is its equal,
no other creature so fearless.
Of all the creatures, it is the proudest.
It is the king of beasts.”

Then Job replied to the Lord:

“I know that you can do anything,
and no one can stop you.
You asked, ‘Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?’
It is I—and I was talking about things I knew nothing about,
things far too wonderful for me.
You said, ‘Listen and I will speak!
I have some questions for you,
and you must answer them.’
I had only heard about you before,
but now I have seen you with my own eyes.
I take back everything I said,
and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance.”

:D very humbling.

2008-10-06T18:06:00.008+08:00

COWBOY OF THE YEAR PHOTOS

This holidays has been one of the best...
and so i went on a camp on a farm... RAW = Rural Apprecition Weekend.. 4 days 3 nights :D
a preview of some pretty camera shots first :D will post more soon !

This is a picture of ming fei, a medicine friend :D super cool rite?

And these are pics below are pics of me posing! hahaha

2008-09-15T23:22:00.002+08:00

recently...
a friend who's gonna get baptised says...

"But most importantly, 2008 is the year I dedicated myself, my whole life, to the Lord Jesus, the furthering of His gospel, and His coming kingdom."(Yeo, 2008)

"If you are not passionate for God, den its useless being a christian..." (Yeo, 2008)

"For me, the reason why I chose to get baptised this year even though I've been a christian since I was 13 or 14, was that I wanted to mark this year, 2008, as the most amazing year in my spiritual walk with God, the year I grew so much, the year I discovered what it really means to be a Christian ." (Yeo, 2008)

cool :D

post exams monday blues

2008-09-14T21:39:00.005+08:00

tomorrow's the start of a new course...

and probably the thing i am looking forward most to is...

drrrrrummm rolls*

my birthday... on the 27 december...

KIDDING. haha

i can't wait to go back to singapore man, 15 November.

and so, how was my exams?
well, it didnt turn out too good... but that's okay... i guess i would be. i don't know the results yet though... but oh wells. till then :D

and well, u know sthing? coogee's really nice place to go running to... seriously man... run to coogee beach and u'll see a scenary that's nicer than anywhere in singapore. but of course, australia's a really scenic place, with loads and loads of amazing scenary. i should post a photo..wait lemme find..

sure have one..

and anyway, i was reading past random posts and i realised that my style of posting changed. ahhH, so deep so reflective...not that's its bad to be superficial either.. hahaha.

lemme see... its probably a result of growing old liao.

and so, i dun wanna grow up old and serious... just wanna have a fun happy go lucky kind of life... i guess, its more like a carefree'ness of life which is really something to be treasured i think.

so stay young.... stay healthy... run more often..
just like me. **:D haha

*******btw, I TOOK PART IN STANDARD CHARTERED 42.195KM MARATHOn... and guess what? i've started training..
and u know what? i found out that my body's creaky...

oh noOOOooOoOOooOOooOoo.

after the run to coogee beach, and back,
i ran about 6 km...

and my legs.. oh mannnnnnnn... *creaaAkk creaak cricket.

people say i'm old...
i guess...
U KNOW WHAT? somebody compared me to a planet! [not like... you are as amazing a creation as a planet.... but as old and ancient as one ***piuuuuuuuuuuu, my world shatters.. hahaha -_-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
hahhaa. funny people say funny things.

aHHh well,

to my fellow peers...
in 6 years time... :D we share the same fate...
it'll be time to be called UNCLE... or Aunties if you are female... *laughs

HAHAHA. oh manNNNnNNnNnNNNnnNnn i dreaaaad that day..

can u imagine... "uncle jordan"?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
no. don't u dare imagine...!

lol.

just for laughs.

yay... almost time to go back singapore.

one post dedication to... ...

2008-09-10T13:48:00.001+08:00

just like exactly one year ago

Happy BirthDay Drey :D

cheers,
Jordan

Pink - just for entertainment

2008-08-08T10:43:00.009+08:00

the FunKy GuiTaR showcAse.

Pink Panther on Pink Strings.. *timings a bit off... a little bit of wrong notes here and there though. oh Well, the reason I've got pink strings, is because my bro bought them for me as a farewell gift in FeB when i first came to AUstralia, and it's really good strings... so i decided to use it.

I'd say, my lovely guitar looks rather funky now! don'tchya agree? :D

post 101

2008-08-05T21:32:00.040+08:00

i just realised this is my 101th post on this blog.

so the mini Sermon 101

Life's really short sometimes... and not many people get to become Centenarians (although they are the fastest growing age group amongst all age groups today!)
and In case you didn't know, Centenarians are people who live over 100 years of age... and the name sounds really cool. makes them somewhat like ancients, elders... Wonder what it'd be like to see a centuary pass!

But then, when all these things fade away eventually... what becomes really precious to us then?

Let me tell you a story by John Orthberg.

My grandmother had just gotten out of jail. She was a roll away from the yellow properties. And the yellow propertise meant trouble. They were mine. AND they had hotels. And Gram had no money. She had wanted to stay in jail longer to avoid landing on my property and having to cough up dough she did not have, but she rolled doubles, and that meant her bacon was going to get fried.

I was ten-year-old sitting at the Monopoly table. I had it all - money and property, houses and hotels, Boardwalk and Park Place. I had been a loser at this game my whole life, but today was different, as I knew it would be. Today I was Donald Trump, Bill Gates, Ivan the Terrible. And I was one roll of the dice away from the biggest lesson life has to teach: the absolute necessity of arranging our life around what matters in the light of our mortality and eternity. It is a lesson that some of the smartest people in the world forget but that my grandmother was laser clear on.

For my grandmother taught me how to play the game...

Grandmother was at her fiestiest when it came to Monopoly. Periodically leaders like General Patton or Attila the Hun develop a repuation for toughness. They were lapdogs next to her. Imagine that Vince Lombardi had produced an offspring with Lady MacBeth, and you get some idea of the competitive stream that ran in my grandmother. She was a gentle kind soul, but at the Monopoly table she would still take you to the cleaners.

She played with skill,passion and reckless abandon. Eventually, inevitably, she would become Master of the Board. When you're the Master of the Board, you own so much property that no one else can hurt you. When you're Master of the Board, you're in control. Other players regard you with fear and envy, shock and awe. Often she'd console me saying "Don't worry about it, one day... You'll learn to play the game."

I hated it when she said that.

It dawned on me that the only way to win this game was to make a total commitment to acquistion. No mercy. No fear. What my grandmother had been showing me for so long finally sank in. By fall, when we sat down to play, I was more ruthless than she was. My palms were sweaty. I would play without softness or caution. I was ready to bend the rules if I had to. Slowly, cunningly, I exposed the soft underbelly of my grandmother's vulnerbility. Relentlessly, inexorably, I drove her off the board!

I can still remember - it happened at Marvin Gardens.

I looked at Grandmother - this was the woman who had taught me how to play. She was an old lady by now. A widow. She had raised by mother. She loved my mother, as she loved me. And i took everyting she had. I destroyed her financially and psychologically. I watched her give up her last dollar and quit in utter defeat.

It was the greatest moment of my life.

I had won.

I was cleverer, and stronger, and more ruthless than anyone else at the table. Iwas the Master of the Board.

But then my grandmother had one more thing to teach me. The greatest lesson comes at the end of the game. And here it is. In the words of James Dobson, who described this lesson from Monopoly in playing with his family many years ago:

"Now it all goes back in the box."

There's actually so much wisdom in this. Just like Eccelesiates... if you actually read the book, it says the same things. Solomon was said to be the wisest man during his reign... and there was no one wiser.

And a lot of what Solomon wrote, paraphrased, is that "Now it all goes back in the box."

Well, for one, recently, it dawned on me that life's really like a vapour... like that song, a wave tossed in the ocean... vapour in the wind... a flower quickly fading... here today and gone tomorrow...

A Centenarian or not, life's so short.

How meaningless don't you think? JUST if it all goes back into the box.

And but, in the midst of the frality of life... treasuring life SUDDENLY becomes so much more important? life's not as meaningless now don't you think?

so living life to it's fullest becomes so much more important. how you spend every second of it seems so much more important. it's just like having a million dollars to splurge as compared to 50 cents a day upon which your life hangs upon? You'd treasure every cent of it.

I mean, if you'd knew you'd already last an eternity on earth today... would you actually treasure life, as much as you would a life that quickly fades? if you'd knew the start to the end... would you ever treasure a relationship with God? I wouldn't if I knew all the happenings in life... no need for trust... just good logical outcomes and good planning on my part. (and it's just like watching a movie, I'd rather not know the happenings from the start to the end... for if i had known, the movie would be in a dusty old shelf never/seldom to be played and watched... and the move would have lost its purpose...)

and but for me, it hurts most when suddenly, life seems a little bit too frail...
and and and
but in a limited lifetime, (like a limited 50 cents), i ask myself, "how are you going to spend it?"

and so, why ask God why?
You know, "Why" is not always the best question to ask... one thing I learnt that if its not for me to know why, then its not for me to know why... why this, why that, why not like that.

Ecclesiates c8v17 "I realised that no one can discover everything God is doing under the sun. Not even the wisest people discover everything, no matter what they claim."
If it's not for you to know, it's not for you to know... such a simple statement... hard to accept?
But really... not knowing doesn't really matter as much anymore...
cos there's inherently good in Not Knowing Why.

cos Not Knowing not only requires faith, but builds trust...
not knowing not only requires trust, but builds a dependence, a reliance... a need to find a rock to stand upon...

ANd not knowing makes you love life more than you would have if you'd already known.

So what matters really is a lesson that's really really really important...
Treasure life... just because you do Not Know (everything)...
Treasure the people around you more... just because you do Not Know (everything)...
AND MOST OF ALL, treasure your relationship with God... just because you know how much He actually loves you... (i wish so much now that the people I love knew this... and the people that God loves so much knew these...*** that's the entire world :D)
So this summed up in the 2 greatest commandments, Love God faithfully, Love MAn Fervently..

and how is this related to "It all goes back into the box"?

You see the things that go back into the box, are the things that couldn't last...
but then, there are things that do actually last... and they are the things of God.

Ecclesiates 4:11, "Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end."

So you know, from this verse, there are some things which would actually last forever.

how really fragile life really is, how unpredictable it is, makes God so much much more important, and makes God's love so much more... how to describe... mmmm... so much MORE MOre more... i don't know...mmm.. necessary? desirable?

some rather take the other stand... i would called them the "WHY GOD" people? always asking why God like this like that... because for them, the frality of life, and its uncertainties do exactly the opposite.

but but but many problems, many troubles, grief, and weakness/frality...
should really be the reasons Not to blame God, but the reasons that make us cry out for, want, desire, chase after, hold on to, trust a God who loves us.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

if angels were crude, they'd tell you "Heyo weakling! God still loves you. He really does... He really really does..."

2008-06-28T23:50:00.003+08:00

Quiet Time a.k.a mini SermON

Joshua c1v9 "This is my command - be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

this is what has helped me through,

neither because I listened and said, "I will be strong", nor because I said, "I can be courageous!"....

cos I was weak, and I was afraid, before I came to sydney, before I started my course, and before I took my exams.

but because the Lord my God is "with me wherever I go".

you know, as i think upon this verse... it's not a verse that psyches us up like a motivational speaker... not like one that stands in the pulpuit and says, "Be strong, Be courageous, Have no fear, You are bigger than what you think... ", it's not like that.

but as I come to realise, the Lord my God is with me wherever I go...
and as these words sinks in, and realise that God really actually with me right there and then, at that moment. that God is not just there in a verse in my mind.
really, that's the reason to be comforted in times of fear! and that's enough reason to be strong and courageous.

"For the Lord is with you wherever you go."
Acutally, that's a more than enough reason for me to be strong and courageous, especially when you start to claim promises from God, just like how the Israelites claimed the Pomised land.

examweak

2008-06-26T17:42:00.006+08:00

my life in the past 1.5 weeks...

i've never studied harder ever in my life than... the past 1.5 weeks.

studied much much harder than A levels i think...
maybe it's because i've got more time for A levels...

but for this, there's really so much information.
I actually thought at the beginning, that it was impossible to study everything... and yea, it actually is... to a certain significant extent. haha.

but oh wells, i've learnt my lesson. START EARLY!!! haha. it's my fault though... started a 'tad too late.

so really. start EARLY. i would have been a lot less stressed if I did...

so anyway, IM COMING HOME!

annnd.... these pictures are to Commemorate the fun things i do in SYdNey, AT Home... i havent posted many photos of the things i do outside of house... but yea..

CuTlinary skills... look at the pretty photos and drooOOL... ***even though looks are decieving..
hahaha! yea. looks are decieving...

see the CUP* it was given to me as a farewell gift by my secondary school friends... w/MY NAME ON IT... hahaha. cool rite...

soooo what i do in SYDNEY... is COOK AND EAT! and StuDy * see the pic with the DORITOS and the ALARM CLOCK.... it's 5a.m. (4.57a.m.) and I didnt sleep until lecutres the next morning at 9a.m.... but anyway, that's an extreme night. haha. *see i've learnt my lesson... START STUDYING EARLY!

and see, i even celebrated my dad's birthday! seeeee!

annnd yea, cook and eat and study... cook eat and study... and sleep... and sleep. that was my routine for...eeRRrrrrrrrrrr. the longest time ever!

and watch out for my PEN SPINNING trick... errrrr... i only picked it up in sydney... not that i actually went to learn, but it's a habit... a habit that while reading or studying, and while holding a pen, i'll SPIN IT. hahahaha. and in the middle of the night.... in the middle of studying....
and i captured my "TALENT" on a vVVVV lousy camera, so it looks fast! hAHAHA. and watch the wavessssSSS. actually... its not as impressive as it looks... haha. its CAMERA effects.

****very bo liao rite... ... see. this is what excessive studying do to you!

and for the messy room... that's the result of studying! hahaha. normally i am veRRRRRY NEAT ok... *excuses. but yea... neater than this... this is the MESSiest it'll ever get.

exams are over

2008-06-26T17:20:00.017+08:00

2008-06-03T17:20:00.006+08:00

high time i update before this blog becomes dead.

i'm busy... well... busy'ness is an excuse.

so

Quiet Time aka Mini Sermon

well, i remember what I learnt from "Experiencing God" book... well, you know how when someone asks a question about God?
or when someone just takes the first step,
no matter how small,
it even being the slightest curosity stirring within to know about God?

well, that's God at work.

you know why? you'll have to read Romans.

"No one is righteous, not even one...
No one is truly wise,
and no one is seeking God...
All have turned away...."

How can one start to seek God,
unless God has chosen to reveal Himself to you...
unless God draws you to Him...

and He has.

Philppians 2:13, "For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose..."

so when someone asks about God,
or someone starts wondering... catch the opportunity...
and catch God working...
see this in a different light...

and partner what God is doing in that person.

and that's of course, it doesn't mean that you don't need to evangelise...
why?

simple...

cos God uses people like you to reveal Himself to others... but only if you let him.

and sO, how good is Good News?

as good as this?

"When I discovered your words, I devoured them. They are my joy and my heart's delight for I bear your name..." Jeremiah 15:16

and as good as this?

"So these messages from the Lord have made me a household joke. But if I say I'll never mention the Lord of speak in his name, his word burns in my heart like a fire. It's like a fire in my bones! I am worn out trying to hold it in! I can't do it!" Jeremiah 20:8b-9

is that how important God's message is?

unshamed* of the words of God... you see...
for many bible heros, God's words had made them "household" jokes... and it's true.
see Acts, when Paul speeks in Athen to some Philosophers... about God...
see Moses, when He brought the message of deliverance to Israel...
see Jeremiah... ... the list goes on...

when have you ever been able to keep Good News to yourself?
Think about it, and imagine it...
Good News if it's that Good, wears you out if kept to yourself.
*****unless it isn't even good news in the first place...

and like Jeremiah, the only reason I can think of,
why God's messages can wear Jeremiah out... is because Jeremiah had a heart for his people. See, it made him a household joke...
but it was a very important message that could save Israel at that time from their enemies...
the very same message that could reconcile them to God.

Isn't this paralleled to the Gospel?

------------------------------------------------------------

And how much do you mean to God?

Genesis 6v6 "It broke His heart." when we fell away from God

It broke his heart when Israel rebelled against Him...
God said through Jeremiah "Night and day my eyes overflow with tears. I cannot stop weeping for my virgin daughter - my precious people has been struck down and lies mortally wounded..."

What do you mean to God?

"For God so loved the world, that He gave..." John 3:16

"God is love..."

----------------------------------------------------------

it takes at least 2 mins to reply each tag... I don't know why, but my tag box prevents me from replying at one go... so i'll reply w/ this post. :D

>kare> i've not been online, B cos... haha i sorta used a different e-mail. and but i still use my old account, but not so often too... my other email is thejordanio@hotmail.com :) i'm planning to transfer contacts.. but not yet cos i'm busyy. like a bee...

>eUg!!> heya. haha. yea those videos :D hope yOU enjoyEd it. haha I knOW, when i watch it..it's just so funny too.

>roS> i'll cook. hahah. but cos maybe it'll turn out disastrous, i'll have to force you to eat it.. :D

>jEnn> hihi jen, which HILLsong iS thatt? which sonng?

>weii> yeaAh. coming back soon. =D so happy that I am..

ok. going back to study!

2008-05-10T23:38:00.002+08:00

i guess i've never been more inspired by king david than today :]

i put myself into 2 Samuel, and try to feel what David must have felt... through time and time again... such a different man... who was passionate about Life... ... David dancing, undignified, and could have been more undignified dancing for God... even being seemingly foolish just not to others, but even to himself... a king who wept had compassion, even to his enemies... a man after God's own heart. really David was amazing, I wonder how many people out there could be as passionate as David was... and as loving to God... and as loving to people...

2008-04-28T11:58:00.001+08:00

yet another whipPed Up meal... =D

you have any idea how much thought went into my food? hahaha... i tried to salvage whatever remaining vegetables and carrots and meat that was going to spoil in my fridge.

cheers

2008-04-26T21:05:00.005+08:00

"Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

what?!
don't fight your battles when you're not called to...

only just to be still in the Lord.
the battle's not mine to fight, cos I can't win...

you need only to be still.

today, my friend shared this verse and the song STILL... and the words of the bible verse spoke so clearly... and the song too...

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father You are king over the flood
I will be still know You are God

I will be still, know You are God.

I think of the time the disciples were in the boat with Jesus, and a storm came...
and when the storm comes, close your eyes and think about Jesus... and be still :D

2008-04-17T23:00:00.005+08:00

Beef Fried Rice Special
-green chillis
-capsicums
-Onions
-Garlic
-Cajun Powder w/ Soya Sauce marinate with minced beef
-Garnishing (Tomatoes and Lettuce)
-egg
-saussage
-Soya Sauce
-Salt
-Pepper
-Chili Powder (if you want)
-Carrots

OH MAN. i can't describe how it tasted... ... heavenly.

Since it's a secret recepie... that's all the infomation i'm telling... HAHA JUST JOKING.

i figured that i'll be a great chef, by the time I finish my studies... really. I'm experimenting with so many dishes, that I can think of...

so far,

these are the things i cooked,

roti john, seafood oglio alio (something like that...i dunno oglio what.. it's w/ olive oil), beef fried rice,

and,

great pan friend saussages, crispiest french toasts around, most tasty fried egg you've ever eaten... and the most fragrant rice you've had...

NO ADDED MSG

anyway, how i come up with my meals is by IMAGINATION. haha. walk through the supermarket, think about the food you've had in the past... think what can go with it... and mix and match....

so this the secret way of frying great beef fried rice.

Fry the Vegetable stuff first... the garlic, onions, capsicum, carrots (microwave for a while to make soft), green chilli... Smell the fragrance of the garlic... and onions... and till brown
Add in the beef, and stir fry with the vegetables.... Now smell the fragrance again... HAHA
Add in the rice, and stir fry for a while... Add pepper, soya sauce, and chilli powder.
Den make a CRATER in the centre of your rice in the pan, and pour ur egg into that crater. Don't mix the egg with the rice yet, cos it'll clump the rice up... let the egg cook for a while.
One a bit semi solid cooked egg has arrived at a perfect state, mix with rice...
Garnish with lettuce and tomatoes.
Finally, Serve while hot, with a nice Ribena drink.

2008-04-16T21:00:00.003+08:00

SERMON a.k.a Mini Quiet time.

in the comforts of my room... at 18degrees... my feet are freezing...*random random..

anyway... adapted from

http://www.imeem.com/people/FGDkq5/playlist/nrqiXefa/truth_unplug2_music_playlist/

SATURDAY's SERVICE in SingaporE.

Counter the lie with the truth. When the lie comes back again, counter it with that truth again.

Applying the truth cannot happen just once only, but it must happen over and over and over again. It must become a lifestyle. Transformation requires you to renew your mind! Renewal is a lifestyle, not just a formula.

The devil knows a lot of knowledge, but look where he is now? Knowledge will not transform. God wants to renew your mind with truths. You need a specific verse.

Tempted in the Desert – Jesus

1 month and 10 days without food. Imagine the shape Jesus was in? Can you imagine? Satan comes to Jesus at the time he was at the weakest. Satan comes with 3 very tempting propositions, that is covered with lies.

Round 1:

Satan see’s Jesus is physically weak. Turn the rock into bread...... The issue is not about turning stone to bread, but submission to God. The issue was loyalty. The issue was obedience. Is yourself more important than obeying God? Jesus immediately said, “It is written...” that man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God. Jesus used the truth to hammer Satan’s lies. He did not go into a debate.

*hahaha. SO FunnY... Jesus did not tell satan, “Don’t step on my sand...”

Anyway, how many “It is written” is inside you?

Jesus did not use any force/logic/theory... not even his own authority. What did Jesus do? He used the truth. IF Jesus used the truth, who am I to do it differently?

*there are times where I wish I could just use authority to overcome temptations.

Round 2:

Satan uses, “it is written...” now...

*hahaha... Jesus could have turn Satan into a bread. Why a stone?

Who’s “it is written” is more powerful? Satan knows the bible very well.
BUT Jesus came out with truth, targeted at Satan’s lie. “What I see the Father do, I do...”...not test God...
IT IS WRITTEN, DO NOT PUT THE LORD YOUR GOD TO THE TEST.

Round 3:

Satan offers immediate control of the kingdom... This world belongs to Satan... and it is true. Jesus did not rebuke Satan from that. First Adam lost it to Satan. Second Adam, Jesus takes it back...

Translation of Satan’s temptation: All these will be Yours! What did you come to this earth for? To redeem the world... But you don’t even need to die on the cross... all you have to do is to bow down...

Jesus could have chosen not to suffer. But He had to honour God too.

5 HABITS

Verbalising Truth reshuffles our emotions. Truth overcomes lies that can stir up your emotions...

Speak out the truth against a lie.

Personalize the Truth. Make it a first Person... Make it part of You...

“I will destroy Speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God and I will take thought captive to the obedience of Christ.”..... Speculations mean I WONDER... I WONDER...

Praying the Truth incorporates every truth into your prayers. Eph c4v29, Let no unwholesome word come from your mouth... Then... pray and ask God for this, that your words be an edification... words that encourage, and build up... instead of destroy.

Meditate the Truth When you sleep, what is the last thing on your mind?
*just recently, always after studying, the last thing on my mind before I sleep will be what I studied before. It goes through my head, until I wake up in the morning... really. When I wake up, those become my first thoughts...

Let the word of God be the last, and the first thing of my day... meditate on it =D really.

WHAT IS THE BIBLE? IT’s nothing but a book, not until you read it and internalize it, and meditate on it...

You need to memorise scripture.

2008-04-14T21:39:00.003+08:00

infamous TuRkish Pide made into a Roti John.

Ingredients:
Onions + Cheese + Tuna + Egg

Fry the Onions till brown.
Fry the Tuna with the Onions.
Fry the Bread with Olive Oil.
Fry the Bread with a bit of Egg... make it a roti john.

Put 2 slices of cheese in between the bread.
Put the tuna on top of the cheese.
Pan Toast the bread until cheese melts.

and you get... Turkish Pide Tuna Roti John.

self-centered in a God-centered way

2008-04-14T19:24:00.010+08:00

Quiet Time a.k.a Mini Sermon

Anw to introduce the title... Why its "Quiet time a.k.a Mini Sermon"... that's cos I've always wanted be a pastor next time... AND... but *i'm just kidding.

I just thought that quiet time for me, well, i'm gonna try to make it like a mini sermon... it dawned upon me that for every quiet time put as if it were a sermon message for me...then probably, quiet time starts becoming different. that's of course, unless, sermons are boring one hour talks where you start day dreaming or sleeping... but if not, quiet time, and sermon messages share much in common.... Just that through one, God speaks through man, through another, God speaks through the holy spirit... and both from the word of God...

and this is like a "daily sermon"... for me... and if I blog it, it becomes a sermon, not just for me, but for others too! =D

***on the sidenote, maybe I can be a preacher next time if i write enough mini sermons. hahaha!

So if in your quiet time, you read the bible, read it differently...

read it as though it was God's letter and sermon for you. Well, you know... it actually is...

you know, sometimes we say, be God-Centered.
sometimes we say, don't be self-centered.
But when it comes to reading the bible, don't just be God-centred... be self-centred too.

wait* i'm not starting a cult. haha.

you know why be self-centered?
cos God did not write the word for Himself...
and but the word of God, everything in the bible that was written.. is for YOU!

sometimes, we read the bible, just to find out more about God. that's good. God-centered reading..
and even on top of that, read the bible to find out, what God has, JUST FOR YOU! that's self-centered. but that's true... and that's how we should be reading the bible...

and what got me thinking about how we should also be "self-centered' when reading the bible...was just seeing how "man-centered" God was in everything that He did. In everything, His focus was on us, among creation... special... Well, just think why God created animals, the sun, the moon? or the stars? or land... or mountains... or the sea... things to fly, things to swim in the oceans....? why...?

think of the most self-centered answer:

because He was thinking of ME...! that's of course it's not just me but you too, so it's also, because He was thinking of US too.

if you see, God is more Us-Centered that we know... and His words, are more Us-centred than anything else. then when you read the bible, read it as though it for ME/YOU too. that's self-centred reading...

*but it doesn't mean don't be God-centred... cos that's exactly how we should live...

so,
summary: read self-centred, live God-centred.

Read your bible, pray everyday...
so anw, that wasn't my mini sermon...

this is my mini Sermon...
anw, because I finished Jeremiah... I went on to the most random book i could find. well, haha.. it was a short short book. Guess what it was *in the old testament...?

it was Haggai. JUST 2 chaptErs long. haha.

======so adapted from Haggai chapter 2...

before, this was what the people experienced, "When you expected to draw fifty gallons from the winepress, you found only twenty."

but, this is what God said, "I am with you, says the Lord!"

and, this is what God says will happen, "Think carefully. I am giving you a promise now while the seed is still in the barn. You have not yet harvested your grain, and your grapevines, fig trees, promagranates, and olive trees have not yet produced their crops. But from this day onward I will bless you..."

======

talk about yet praises.

think about the yet blessings.

You know why this verse means so much to me?

through my life... actually since primary school... i have never gotten into a place of my choice... many times, there's wasn't a choice for me. Secondary school was my 4th Choice. JC was my 3rd Choice. in primary school, EM1 was my first choice... EM2 was the way i had to go... NUS medicine was my choice... UNSW was the way to go... well, never did well enough to my expectations. and i guess, many of us, we never ever do well enough to our expectations...

and.. that's exactly like getting 20 gallons when you expect 50 gallons...!

even now, i must say, now... that my expectations have become just hopes... hopes to do well enough. but these hopes become not so hopeful... you know? I just saw and heard about the requirements to do well enough to get an Honours in Medicine... that's really difficult!... I hear how eventually, people just do well enough to pass... maybe that'll be me, i thought to myself.

so even though there's no harvest...
even though you haven't even put your hand to the plough
to even prepare anything for the harvest to come...
and even though you haven't taken your first step YET...
to take the seed out of the barn...

God says, "I will bless you..."

what a way to start!
a start for me in Medicine... what a way to start... :D to start with a blessing.

well blessings... may not just be results... but i know that blessing, is more than enough for me.

========

and I love this verse from 2nd Timothy...

This is a faithful saying:
For if we died with Him,
We shall also live with Him.
If we endure,
We shall also reign with Him.
If we deny Him,
He also will deny us.
If we are faithless,
He remains faithful;
He cannot deny Himself.

everything's a reaction to our actions...
see, if we died with Him, we live with Him.
If we endure, we reign with Him.
If we deny Him, we get denied by Him... ...

until... the last part...

If we are faithless, He remains faithful... ... for He cannot deny Himself.

so, but none of what decisions we make, ever takes away God's faithfulness to us.
perhaps, one of the worst things is to be denied... to be rejected... to be accused...
and yet still remain faithful?

that's laying down your guard...
some say it's weakness...
its like putting yourself in the most vulnerable positions of being hurt...

but that's God... and that's love...

for He cannot deny himself....

" If we are faithless,
He remains faithful;
He cannot deny Himself."

2008-03-31T19:01:00.004+08:00

I just finished so many things...

today I went to school at 9 a.m
I returned home at 1 p.m.
I did my laundry...
cooked a meal...
went out to buy a laundry basket...
finished up my 2000 word inividual assignment...
revised on some topics taught*
looked through lectures for tomorrow...
and did my Quiet time...

i feel so sleeeepy now. good nite :D
but before I sleep... *don't forget about God, even in the busy'ness of life*

Quiet Time a.k.a Mini Sermon

Jeremiah Chapter 33 verse 11

The joyful voices of bridegrooms and brides will be heard again, along with the joyous songs of people bringing thanksgiving offerings to the Lord. They will sing "Give thanks to the Lord of Heaven's Armies, for the Lord is good. His faithfulness endures forever!"

2 things.

1. "Give thanks" to God... a thanks giving offering... how thankful are you to God when you are experincing good times? See, thank God in joyful times. It's easy to forget God while you are happy... joyful...

2. "His faithfulness endures forever..." this means God's faithfulness endures even through our unfaithfulness...

You know, it's easy to be faithful to faithful people...

not many people stay faithful to unfaithful people...

but it's a good thing that God's does, and is always faithful even to unfaithful people.

That's what it means by His faithfulness endures forever...

God endures a.k.a to suffer with... to take upon Himself...

our unfaithful acts... *as if it should not reciprocrated...

but that's God :D

realise how much easier it is for us to be faithful to God than for God to be faithful to us...

but that just goes to show how much more God loves us =D

2008-03-28T20:54:00.005+08:00

Quiet Time a.k.a Mini Sermon

Isaiah chapter 32 verse 38 "They will be my people and I will be their God. And I will give them one heart and one purpose to worship me forever, for their own good and for the good of all their decendants. And I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good for them. I will put a desire in their hearts to worship me, and they will never leave me. I will find joy doing good for them and will faithfully and wholeheartedly replant them in this land."

You know God's one goal, that "We become his people, and He be our God..." Many times, our thoughts and perceptions of God-People relationships turn out different from what God sees it as. In many different places, people share different perceptions of God. Just reading this verse alone, to someone, it may seem as though God wants us to submit our control to Him so that He can be God over us...Furthermore, God says He wants us to worship Him forever...

Now is God a self-centered God?...

a relationship with God goes more than just submission to a higher will... a higher power...

read into the lines...
*hold this thought in mind...

Now, see God as an eager God, a really eager one, desperate to reconcile a relationship with Man once again... just like a courtship... to do everything possible to seek our approval for His love. *but as though our approval really matters? To God, it does... It's our approval of His love for us... I mean, we're just mere humans and why should it even matter in the first place! But that's what God is like... He seeks our approval and does all the good things He can to gain that approval, to start a relationship with Him. Isn't it wonderful? the verse describes it as a joy to God... *but as though we deserve it at all... for Him to so eagerly want to do all the good things He can for us.
and You know something? this tells me a lot more about God... and who God is...

God is more people-centered than we'd ever imagine Him to be... we are like the focus of God's love and attention,

and amongst all of creation...

just special.

2008-03-27T20:15:00.003+08:00

and ...

i like this photo the best :D taken during Easter shoW on a Ferris Wheel...

the Sydney Olympic Stadium

Fellowship of Overseas Christian Univeristy Students (FOCUS)

2008-03-26T23:43:00.020+08:00

Some church camp pHOtos

PiCTuRe PeFErct AusTralia - MemOries

you know, you'll never run out of good photoshots in AustrAlia... thank God For the many christian Friends who have guided me so far :D

2008-03-26T21:23:00.007+08:00

i have never gained more clarity of the gospel in my life than over the past 4 days at church camp... and that also includes clarity of the bible, and stuff...AnD so for 4 dayS, it centered about

1 Corinthians chApter 15... therein lies the importance of the resurrection of Jesus...

The Resurrection of Christ

1Now, brothers, I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you, which you received and on which you have taken your stand. 2By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain.

3For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance^[a]: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, 4that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, 5and that he appeared to Peter,^[b] and then to the Twelve. 6After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers at the same time, most of whom are still living, though some have fallen asleep. 7Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles, 8and last of all he appeared to me also, as to one abnormally born.

9For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. 10But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me. 11Whether, then, it was I or they, this is what we preach, and this is what you believed.

The Resurrection of the Dead

12But if it is preached that Christ has been raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? 13If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. 14And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. 15More than that, we are then found to be false witnesses about God, for we have testified about God that he raised Christ from the dead. But he did not raise him if in fact the dead are not raised. 16For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. 17And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. 18Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. 19If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men.

20But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. 21For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. 22For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive. 23But each in his own turn: Christ, the firstfruits; then, when he comes, those who belong to him. 24Then the end will come, when he hands over the kingdom to God the Father after he has destroyed all dominion, authority and power. 25For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. 26The last enemy to be destroyed is death. 27For he "has put everything under his feet."^[c] Now when it says that "everything" has been put under him, it is clear that this does not include God himself, who put everything under Christ. 28When he has done this, then the Son himself will be made subject to him who put everything under him, so that God may be all in all.

29Now if there is no resurrection, what will those do who are baptized for the dead? If the dead are not raised at all, why are people baptized for them? 30And as for us, why do we endanger ourselves every hour? 31I die every day—I mean that, brothers—just as surely as I glory over you in Christ Jesus our Lord. 32If I fought wild beasts in Ephesus for merely human reasons, what have I gained? If the dead are not raised,
"Let us eat and drink,
for tomorrow we die."^[d] 33Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." 34Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God—I say this to your shame.

The Resurrection Body

35But someone may ask, "How are the dead raised? With what kind of body will they come?" 36How foolish! What you sow does not come to life unless it dies. 37When you sow, you do not plant the body that will be, but just a seed, perhaps of wheat or of something else. 38But God gives it a body as he has determined, and to each kind of seed he gives its own body. 39All flesh is not the same: Men have one kind of flesh, animals have another, birds another and fish another. 40There are also heavenly bodies and there are earthly bodies; but the splendor of the heavenly bodies is one kind, and the splendor of the earthly bodies is another. 41The sun has one kind of splendor, the moon another and the stars another; and star differs from star in splendor.

42So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; 43it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; 44it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body.
If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. 45So it is written: "The first man Adam became a living being"^[e]; the last Adam, a life-giving spirit. 46The spiritual did not come first, but the natural, and after that the spiritual. 47The first man was of the dust of the earth, the second man from heaven. 48As was the earthly man, so are those who are of the earth; and as is the man from heaven, so also are those who are of heaven. 49And just as we have borne the likeness of the earthly man, so shall we^[f] bear the likeness of the man from heaven.

50I declare to you, brothers, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. 51Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— 52in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. 53For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. 54When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory."^[g]
55"Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?"^[h] 56The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

58Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

we should all do bible studies... I mean, really studying the bible as parts, and as a whole...
and when you do, you'll start to see the framework, the intricacies, the links, the accuracy, the details, the parallels... ...everything falls into place so well,when u come to understand it, it stands out so much so, that it can't be just a work of a genius...

it's God's word.

really.

I was convinced that the gospel was true... but over the camp, I'm more convinced after all that bible studies and sermons and stuff on the gospel message... just makes it so amazing. and cleared up so many questions that I used to have... and now, it's just clear! and it's so important! really so important!

everyone ought to read the bible, and everyone ought to be surprised and amazed at how much more you undertstand of God, and how much more "Sound" the bible is than we actually think it is... cos very often we take God apart from Reality, but nOoooO... read the bible and find out how God's so much part of reality!

Many things I've learnt...

1 Cor 15:22, "Just as everyone dies because we all belong to Adam, everyone who belongs to Christ will be given new life."

you know...questions like, why is it so unfair that just because of Adam, all of us have become sinful, and bound to death?

Just as it took one man's sin (Adam) to bring about condemnation and destruction to all of mankind... Take a look at this, and now think about it, about the magnitude of unfairness... about the magnitude of sin... (all it takes is one man) - so absurdly unfair!!!!!

but it took one man's sacrifice (Jesus) to bring about salvation for all... Take a look at this, and now think about it, about the magnitude of unfairness... about the magnitude of the sacrifice... (all it takes is one man too) - so absurbly unfair too!!!

both of similar magnitudes (therein, the fairness in unfairness), but in complete opposites... that's God's plan of salvation...

but You know, how can one uphold Justice and be Merciful at the same time? It's just not comprehendable... unthinkable... it's almost as if both attributes contradict. Think about it, a man who commits adultery... How can God be just/fair to his wife, and yet, merciful to the man?
some attributes of God are hard to reconcile... of course, everyone can still say that God is Merciful, God is Just/Fair... because He is God!

but You know why Satan has power over death in the world? A very logical reason... that's because Satan's the accuser. Accuse the man of commiting adultery, and that's why he should be condemned to death. That man has no way of escaping death... just because satan has accused the man of sinning, and rightly so. Therein, the power that satan holds over the world...

and you know something? All that's of satan's power over us is accusation!

Jesus was not sent to make an exchange with Satan... He never made a pact with Satan to redeem our lives! He didn't need to... Instead we know that Jesus fought a battle... Fighting a battle is very different from making an agreement.

In the past, I would use to think that Satan was really "foolish" to make that agreement with Jesus, thinking that Jesus would die... and so made us free from his power over us in exchange for Jesus life.

But i've come to understand that Satan doesn't have power over life or even death itself!
God's power over life and death was always in His hands. Satan's power lies only in his accusations...

but watch how his accusations become futile...!

1) Satan Accuses us, that we have to die because of Sin...

2) God is Just/Fair, and that, we have to die because of Sin...

3) But now, from one man's sin comes death, and through one mans' death comes life... and so that the only way that God could reconcile man to him, and still be just/fair when He chooses to forgive us, was that Jesus became that sacrifice to death...

In Romans 4v25:" This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when He held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, for He was looking ahead and including them in what He would do in this present time." - even for people who had Sin in the past!!!! through the past, for the present, till the future, God's was still fair!

4) Now everything can be reconciled... God's Just/Fair. God's Merciful. (The grace that was shown on the cross is the very place where Justice and Mercy meets)

It's amazing how David understood God this way, wayYYyyy back before Jesus came. and but We have the benefit of hindsight today (David didn't). The very fact that he said that, Pslam 51v4 "Against you, you only, have I sinned..." showed the very essence of sin... and the possibilty of forgiveness when He knew God as a God who would bring him Salvation. For now, the man who commits adultery... can be forgiven! there is a chance for salvation...!! How could it be?

a) You only sin against God (JUST BETWEEN GOD AND YOU)
What if we could sin against people.... this will be what happens...So if the man who commited adultery could sin against his wife... and that means that sin was counted by his wife... then there can be no salvation because the wages of sin is death.

Work backwards... So then if the wages of sin is death... but there can be salvation... and the sin cannot be counted by his wife... and there still is salvation even though sin leads to death....
and in knowing that there was salvation, David must have had an idea of Jesus, or at least the meaning behind the sacrifices for sins then...! Ps 51 v4 "and justified when you judge." + v9 "and blot out all my iniquity." = in which both can only come through sacrifice/Jesus's act on the cross...

and so we sin only against God...

b) So how is it still fair? If david had not sinned against his wife... and murdered her Husband, probably broke up a family? How can it be fair?!

Now look at who the sin is against... The punishment for Sin is greater when the one you sin against is greater... If we were to look in this light, the punishment for that Sin, for an infinitely great God, is an infinitely great punishment => death. Now, for that sin against God is death... is it fair?

5) So now when the wife accuses the husband of sinning... of commiting adultery... that's not wrong! the wife accuses rightly... and satan accuses, that the punishment must be death... that was also not wrong either! Someone had to die for it... but the punishment was met... just but now, who bore that punishment? Jesus did, that's grace.

so the punishment of Sin was paid in its price in Full at the Cross, the pivotal point for all humanity and all history, where Mercy and Justice met! that only through grace that we could be saved.

and see, Satan's accusations fall to the ground with no more power of condemnation... suddenly at the cross, Satan's accusations became futile... so it was never an exchange (not so much as an exchange, that God required that exchange to get back his power over death), it was more like a victory won! Where Satan had no choice to decide from the beginning...

but so now, the only way of reconciling man to God was through Jesus, in which,
God still uphold's jUstice, He can be merciful in the world of sIn, only at the expense of what we call GracE, shown through JesuS on that CroSs.

and u know the extent that God had to go through... to save us through Grace? the extent of love poured down for us?

I think, and think and think... ponder... ponder... ponder...

think for a second... maybe take more than a second...

look into it... c'mon. what greater love than this?

so God could choose 2 options...

1) just leave man as He is, eternally seperated from Him

2) Or if He chose to reconcile man to God... had no other choice but to go through such extents of laying down His life for us all. think about it, there was no other choice really (remember the magnitude of one man's sin *adam... now the magnitude of one man's sacrifice *Jesus... see how both reconcile to say that God is still just/fair even though he choose to forgive? if not, God wouldn't be fair... and merciful at the same time...), and it's probably the toughest choice anyone could make... unless there is Love.

what greater love can there be?

So now, know what does it mean when Jesus had to die for our sins?

and of course, so many other questions I had were answered :D

2008-03-26T20:45:00.002+08:00

smile. you're on candid camera.

2008-03-18T18:57:00.015+08:00

For Eugene,

I made cheng yu sing for you...

of course without his permission...

muhahahahAHA!

so this happy birthday song...

is just for you...

in this one post dedication...

buttt,

**snaps fingers...

''aiya wasted!''

you can't hear me sing.... haha.

but still,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

GOD Bless You in your studies A levels, Church, Family, Friends... :D

2008-03-17T21:26:00.020+08:00

"Have any of these prophets been in the Lord's presence to hear what he is really saying?
Has even one of them cared enough to listen?" Jeremiah 23:18

Two things matter,

staying in God's presence...

Caring enough to hear God...

My First Cooked Meal In Sydney :) + and Fellow friends... Year 6 Medical Student (Right Picture)................................ Fellow Year 1 Medical Students (Left Picture)

2008-03-10T18:33:00.009+08:00

Quiet Time a.k.a Mini Sermon:

So I read Jeremiah chapter 17:8-...
"Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the long months of drought . Their leaves stay green and never stop producing fruit."

Dissect the the passage into many parts, and this is what I learnt.

"Blessed are those who trust in the Lord", well, this is what trust is... as you read on,

"made the Lord their hope and confidence"

So trust in God means to make him your HOPE and CONFIDENCE...

You see, this is what hope is...
Hope is believing for something that you do not have yet...
and Confidence is having a sure reliance on something that you already have...

one believing in the acquired, the other believing for the required...

Lamentations chapter 3v24:
"The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."
or some say The LORD is my inheritance...

that's my confidence... and therefore I will wait for him... waiting for somone, whom you place your confidence in, is such a natural thing to do. Just like if I didn't know my way around sydney, then I will wait for my friend to guide me along... my confidence is in him, because he's travelled around before.

you see, if "have" could be a noun...then God wants you to trust in Him, in the"have"s and the "have-nots" yet...

so putting your confidence in God makes God your "have"... means you "have" God in all that you do, means God becomes your inheritance... and putting your hope in God, is believing for the "have-nots"... means believing that God will provide for the "have-nots", which maybe your needs or His promises to come in your life...

and what does God say...

you see, water represents life! and a tree can't live without water... how much more trust can we have in God, to live LIFE when you are planted by the water, just like that tree.

soooooOO,

Lay your Foundations in God "Roots that reach deep into the water" So that in times Trials/Difficulties that you will not be affected "Such trees are not bothered by the long months of drought." and that you will even continue to be fruitful... "Their leaves stay green and never stop producing fruit."

So now, a little preview

Hillsongs Live Recording 2008

Some of the songs are really nice... look out for the album release.

Just a preview of what the Live Recording was like :) we were soooo far back, because we reached slightly late. but anyway, it was an experience... to take a train there... whoa! only after taking sydney trains, then would singaporeans sooOOOOOoo appreciate the MRT and the SBS buses we have... which is so much more efficient. Sydney trains are confusing, and would take a genius to figure the routes.

anw, I like this song... :)

i miss my family, my MUM, my DAD, LISA, JOSHUA, and JOEL!

2008-03-07T06:37:00.004+08:00

Guess what?

The church that I went to with my landlord... the pastor and the invited speaker (Liang Mu Shi) knows Pastor Song and Pastor Mark Geppert! Cool man... :) no wonder the things I heard during the sermon was so similar... really so similar to what Pastor Song preaches.

Yesterday I met Jerming. You know how i met him? I went for OCF, and suddenly, somone popped up and introduced his name as OP. So I told OP that I was jordan...

and OP thinks for a while and says,

"OHh, so you're jordan. Your mum told my friend about you... "

*huh?* me

"MMMmmmm, who's your friend?" *me

"Jerming"

"YEa! How' did you get to know Jerming?"*me

"He's my housemate..."

haha. and then about a few minutes later, Jerming called my handphone...

really cool how he called me... so timely when I was just about to go out to have dinner with OCF people.

So we had dinner together during OCF, and yea, got to know a lot of people... haD a very good chat with JermIng :) got to knoW him bEtter... much better than before... haha. last time just used to see him around in church only... it was the same for him too. haha. iT's great to meet people you know from SingaPOre here in Australia!

So we headed to the church, and guess what? i met my SISpec Army Bunkmate, Derek, there... He doesn't live anywhere near, a few hours drive away... but just attended the OCF session for that particular day...

andd There was a guest speaker, called Ash Barker, who's a missionary in Bangkok... the Slums area... working amongst the very very poor people. He's quite inspirational I must say, and yea, really admire him for how he lays down his life to help the people in Thailand.

In Australia, it's a small world afterall, it's a small world afterall...

i really thank God for the friends i made here so far too!

one of them lives in hillview too, used to be neighbours!

everyday God provides amazing things :)

2008-03-05T17:23:00.003+08:00

Jeremiah chapter 12

If racing against mere men makes you tired, how will you race against Horses?
If you stumble and fall on open ground, what will you do in the thickets near the Jordan?

You know school has started, and lessons and assignments and tests are coming up! So many new things to learn... and I've just started to lose confidence... confidence to do well, to do very well! Maybe a pass.. maybe just above average will do? and this is what God tells me, that if racing against mere men makes me tired, how will I race against horses... you know the only person in the bible, who raced against horses was Elijah...

Elijah tightened up his girdle, and ran the whole way in front of the chariot. 1 Kings 18.46.

In Isaiah, it says,
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

You know where my strength comes from? From my hope in God. Shouldn't I hope all the more after what God has done for me, and just because I know I'm in His promises? You see both verses talk of running, one talks of hoping on God, that renews your strength. The other talks of racing against men, which drains your strength... You know what? I don't have to compare with others, to race against the people around me, all I have to do have the hope that God will guide me step by step in this race... I get my strength from hoping in God.

and I've crossed the River... it was the easy part :) the thickets near the Jordan river... entering the promises of God doesn't mean that it's always an open ground... sometimes there are barriers that I need to pass. Know what a thicket is? It's a densed undergrowth of plants. God tells me that there'd be barriers, but that's why all the more I need to rely on Him... you see, I need to have my foundations in God alone... lay it on a firm foundation, so I won't stumble and fall in the the thickets.

wanna do what God wants me to do... a step... a step at a time.

2008-03-04T18:11:00.010+08:00

Last sUnday morning, I went to the most traditional church anyone ever, the building was a brick building, somewhat like an Historical Preservation Site... It was located in the centre of Sydney. A baptist church. I went there to accompany one of my friends, who's a presbyterian... ok.

So God spoke to me, even through the most unexpected traditional church that I did not expect... and you know, that's God... In the start, the pastor's wife came up with 2 plastic cups of jelly... That represented 2 kinds of hearts. One of them, when she stuck her finger inside, and pulled it out, the hole naturally covered. It represented a heart was whole again. However, the other, when she stuck her finger inside, "Oh what a hole was left behind" she exclaimed... it was because the 2nd heart one was frozen.

Well, that's the 2 kinds of hearts that we can have...
One leaves ugly scars... the other heals and closes up quickly... *unforgiveness
One is hard to be affected... the soft heart can be moulded easily... *teachablity
One is cold... the soft heart is warmer *compassion

Well, the church service was like this: All rise => Sing a hymn => all take a seat => Pastor says something =>all rise to sing a hymn => all takes a seat => Pastor says somethings... so offering, there's a hymn for that... for benediction, a hymn for that... for praise and worship, a contemporary hymn... well, guess what? I worshipped God right there and then... there was this hymn...

From the ends of the earth  (From the ends of the earth)
From the depths of the sea  (From the depths of the sea)
From the heights of the heavens  (From the heights of the heavens)
Your name be praised

From the hearts of the weak  (From the hearts of the weak)
From the shouts of the strong  (From the shouts of the strong)
From the lips of all people  (From the lips of all people)
This song we raise, Lord

Throughout the endless ages
You will be crowned with praises,  Lord Most High
Exalted in every nation
Sovereign of all creation
Lord Most High, Be magnified

That song, when the congregation sang it, powerful man! It was so cool, like a Choir of people singing, and worshipping God together... a very different kind of worship experience... it was as if the song was a performance by the entire congregation, that was sung to God. Well, even in a very formal setting, yea, the worship was cool man... very different, yet so powerful... I love some hymns, cos it speaks so much about God's greatness... Many hymns were written by christian warriors that have gone before us... people who were persecuted and yet, praised God with their everything.

You know, when school starts, you get busy knowing new friends, start to spend less time with God... and but there was this hymn also, that had a stanza "bring me across the Jordan"... this reminded me so much of God's promise.

and the pastor's sermon was about Jonah! I learnt more about Jonah than I ever did before... so just very briefly, God's purpose for sending Jonah to Nineveh was 1) to show His love for the Nations of the world too, 2) a foreshadow of the coming of the Messiah ("For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of the whale, so will the Son of Man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth." Matthew 12:40), 3) to awaken Israel who had been rejecting God...

So after that, we headed down to hillsong church... I was more comfortable there anw... haha cos it was less formal. This coming Sunday, Hillsongs Live Recording at the Acer's Arena (Olympic Park) in Australia => there's gonna be many new songs, and I heard some during their services... it was very nice songs :)

well anw, i remember last week, on wednesday and thursday, I atteneded a chinese healing conference with my Landlord (it costs 125 AUD per Person, Mr Wu paid for me...) yea. So i learnt so much from there... the speaker was Liang Mu Shi (I wonder if she met Pastor Song before, cos what she teaches so similar to Pastor Song...) anw, you know? Mr Wu ( my landlord) is a person who really inspired me... just by talking to him...

YOu knOw, he's actually got 30 people working under him, owns a driving school in sydney, and so rich... but yet, when I talk to him, he's seems like such a humble, simple person... generous, and very kind hearted. I see his faith in God, its child-like faith man! I mean, when adults grow up, their hearts harden, but his was different... You know when I told him that I'd only attend one session of the conference, (costs $30), he said, it's okay, its expensive to bring the speaker in from overseas, so he paid the full fee... and talking to him, I remember some quotes that he said, "somtimes you give, you lose some... but God bless.. you know..." in broken english (cos he's a cantonese, from Hong Kong)... and another time he said, "... pray to God, you know... give me a soft heart... so I can cry." These words are really amazing...

I read Jeremiah... a person who was called by God... well, he had a soft heart! You know why? He wept, and wept, and wept for his people... he had a heart for God, and a heart for his people... that's why God used him... I pray that my heart doesn't grow hard admist all the studying and pursuing of a Career, a promise, a dream.

*break my heart for what breaks yours... keep your heart soft always*especially when you are growing up!

school has started, and oh man, starting to become so busy... and gotta shop for groceries once in a while, gotta find food to eat, gotta clean my room, gotta do the laundry, gotta do homework... really such a different lifestyle from JC/Secondary school, where I didn't have to bother about all those things. Well, I'm growing up... that's why I wear a Watch... haha. anw, yea, gotta balance out my time, and leave much time for God too... read the bible, pray everyday.

blog less*

2008-02-27T16:12:00.007+08:00

Quiet Time a.k.a Mini Sermon:

"Let us live in awe of the Lord our God for He gives us rain each spring and fall, assuring us of a harvest when the time is right." Jeremiah chapter 5 v 24.

Living in awe of our God... yes... in AWE. surprise. amazement. Splendour. GloRy. respect. fear. ReVerence... so many words describe it...

what it means to live in awe of God?
It is acknowledging God's works in our lives, catching where God is, and joining in partnership with Him... It is worshipping Him wholeheartedly, singing praises to Him in all your circumstances, and giving Him glory in for your testimonies... It is fearing Him, with so much respect, and reverence, that we don't take Him for granted in our lives... It is loving Him with all our heart, our soul and our minds... It is hearing His words so carefully and clearly that you don't go off the wrong path...

See a harvest when the time is right! an assured harvest... yes. God is the Lord of the Harvest... :)

don't let each day pass like a routine, let life waste away,
- sometimes its so easy to make life a routine of day-ins and day-outs

but live in awe of God... ...

you know what this verse actually is?

It is a verse of faith and expectation... see, the harvest hasn't come in yet, and the rain has not come yet... but when the time is right...

so give God "YET" praise, and still stand in awe of God :)

ok now... just for laughs*

this is what cheng yu drew in the CALENDAR...hahaHa.

2008-02-27T13:06:00.006+08:00

Yesterday, I went to a traditional chinese church... everything was in chinese, but, I understood what was preached! haha... my chinese isn't that bad i suppose. Anw, the preacher was called Liang Mu Shi (Mu Shi = Pastor in chinese), yea. What I found amazing was that she said the same thing as Pastor Song, that God's using the chinese people now, to bring the gospel back to Jerusalem. Raising up Chinese people... It was exactly the same thing that Ps Song shared, and yah, so amazing... the words she used, the same too!

haha. maybe they are friends? I don't know.. but yea, I learnt a lot.

I think the sermon was what I needed to hear! really..

Mr Wu, the landlord, describes the preacher as a machine gun... preach so much, so much! you know? For a whole straight 3 hours! haha.

Some questions that I got out of the sermon...

What can I do to help a person love God a bit more?

Are you willing to change? to be broken?

You know, I read Jeremiah, about the POTter and the clay... a very famous Scripture in the bible. It says in Chapter 18, "but the Jar he was making did not turn out as he had hoped, so he crushed it into a lump of clay again and started over.... .... as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are you in my hand". This is a very very powerful verse... you know? I'd rather be broken, and smashed into pieces, and remoulded into God's plans, than stay as an ugly pot.

Will you love each other?

God's love brings about 2 things, healing and freedom... and WE are called to love each other with the Love that God has shown to us... She preached about something that is very important.
Is church a social club or a place where God's love overflows to each other? She said that, if we come to church to meet people only, then it would not last... if we come to church to love one another, then that'll be a strong church.

Will you love God?

She said that loving God is supposed to be a very natural thing. Just like dating, how a guy would naturally want to make time out for the girl... Our time spent with God is not an appointment, not a business apopintment to be set and scheduled... Although it is still important to dedicate a portion of your time to God, to spend with daily, it cannot become a business appointment.

Is what you are doing pleasing to God?

and she mentioned a similar example that Pastor daniel's used last saturday... WWJD... what would you do if you were in Jesus' shoes... wear Addidas... haha.
Ask God for 2 things: Wisdom and Love...

PART II:

You know that what you say bears a great impact on others?

How did God form the earth? It was through speaking! Words! And we are created in God's image... you know the words that you say can give people hope of a life, or destroy someone? The tongue has power of life and death... literally..

Why so? You know how the devil uses fiery darts, bearing influence to a person's mind? Well, what you say has a lot of impact, because the devil can use it to gain a foothold in someone's life...

Well she taught me very practical lessons!

For one, when someone praises you... "Oh you wear a very very nice dress!", don't say, "No lah, it's a very old dress..." or for parents, "Your little boy is very smart!", don't say, "Aiya, my son '笨笨' de..." ... that's not being humble. Don't take praises and make it curses... that's what Chinese people always like to do... you know how to answer when someone praises you?? LIke suppose someone says to you, "You are very smart!"... reply " 感謝祖, 謝謝 ni"... give thanks to God, thank the person for his comment...sometimes, do an exchange, "You are just as smart too!"... Learn to accept praises graciously :)

From your mouth, you can be the very tool that Satan uses to destroy someone, or from the same mouth, you can be the very mouthpiece of God to bring hope and life to people! Say the right thing... You see, faith comes from hearing, and hearing the word of God... the word of God is like a seed, that is planted... and brings forth LIFE into a person.

But just like how the word of God is a seed... so are all words like seeds too... Just like there are good seed, there are bad seed to that can take root... You see, the words you say can plant seeds into the lives of others. Seeds grow over time, one rooted and grown into a big tree, it's hard to pull out! If someone has a very low self-esteem, say more discouraging words to the person, and what happens? Whar you say becomes like the bad seeds take root in his/her life, and destroys the person...

So start to encourage one another! not with flattery, but honest words of encouragement...

and yes, i learnt something from her. Everytime someone says something wrong, like says, "Aiya, you die already! You're gonna be dead meat...", words that can discourage you or another person, maybe another friend, reject it in Jesus name, and pray that the devil cannot use such words, and gain a foothold in either you or your friend's life...

Well, I want to be a person that talks and bring hope into people's lives! speak things that are good... speak things that are righteous... speak things that edify others... speak encouragement...

You know the power of words? In numbers chapter 14, God says, "As surely as I live, I will do exactly what you say..." When the report of the spies came in, all but 2 gave a positive report, JOSHUA and CALEB... the rest? They spoke discouragement to the people, and because of their report, that generation did not enter the promises of God...! * so don't let what you say also stop someone from entering God's promises for his/her life too! Encourage them... and spur each other on into God's plans! really...

everyday, keep a lookout for opportunities to say something good to people around you :)

mmmiiiisssssssiiinnnggssssiinnnggaaappppoorrreeeee

2008-02-27T09:59:00.001+08:00

i did my laundry... and you know what?

it was a disaster...

haha.

after i took out my blank long sleeve shirt, the one i wore at the airport,

it was filled with white flints.

2008-02-25T11:50:00.003+08:00

Day 4 Quiet Time a.k.a Mini Sermon:

I read Jeremiah chapter 4, "Plough up the hard ground of your hearts! Do not waste your good seed among thorns."

I asked God what this verse meant? You know what it meant?

Remember the parable that Jesus preached, the seeds that fell among thorns? that's what it meant. The when God's words are planted, those are Good seeds... and Good seeds spring up from the ground giving rise to plenty of fruit. So Fruits, yea, Fruits of the Spirit - Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Faithful, Self-Control. And you know from sermon on Sunday, I learnt that these fruits, they come out of you and guard your heart. Prevents you from getting a heart attack.

But what does the thorns represent... those are the cares/pleasures/riches of life that distract you, stunts your growth and pulls your focus away from God. You know? This can also happen or maybe happens most often in quiet time... when you read the word, plant it, but get distracted by other cares and thoughts* very applicable. It's not just a salvation message that's good seed that gives life! There's so much more of God's word's that are good seed too!

So the verse says also, plough the hard ground of your hearts!

What does that mean?

A hard ground could represent a hardened heart. Soil that's dry, don't take in seeds. You know? The bible makes mention of hardening of hearts a lot... and a hardened heart does not accept, or see God's Works and hear God's Words... you know? I prayed weeks before, that I want my heart to remain soft always! Soft! I don't want it to be harded just like how so many adults have become... really... and it's my time to become an adult soOOOOn, so very soon... i ask God to keep it soft... He tells me to plough it. :)

you know one of the reasons why many people have hardened hearts? Because they go with the weather... wind and rain errodes the soil, the good soil, the sun causes it's moisture to leave... soil becomes parched, hardened and cracked... You know? allowing youself to become used to the weathers of life, causes your heart to be hardened.. Just like hardships, pain... bitterness... very common causes of a Hardened hard. Signs and Symptoms? Numbness. Medication? It's hard to treat, but water it daily... no matter how hard it is, water heals. That's why they say always plant a tree by the riverside... the soil there is always soft.

and Yesh. Ploughing your heart means not letting yourself get influenced with bad things... but constantly staying in the influence of Good shepherds and in the influece of God.

:)

2008-02-25T11:31:00.003+08:00

Day 3 Quiet Time a.k.a Mini Sermon:

You know when I asked God for people to spur me on in my walk with Him... the most amazing and appropriate verse came, Jeremiah chapter 3, "I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will guide you with knowledge and understanding."... isn't it cool?

I take it, claim it, and hold on tight to that promise. Yea, there'll be people to guide me, people who love God so much here... and Yup. it's already started to happen...!

On saturday, when I woke up, in the morning, i told God i wanted to go to church on Sunday... cos no more Y.I. on Saturday for me... and that's why I rambled on about what Saturdays used to be like on a Saturday morning. Well, that was the night, an accountant named Tiffany knocked on my room door, and asked if I wanted to go to church with the landlady's son...John. When that question popped, it was like, oh mannn, i was so happy. really!

and I can't thank GOd more that day, cos so many things happened :)

I think i'll be joining the Hillsong church cos' it's like, at least it seems like every week guest speaker... haha. why guest speaker? cos in Singapore, most of our guest speakers are ang moh... haha. and many australian pastors have came to Y.I. and spoken before. Church's about 20 minutes away from house... so it's great. Service is great too. I haven't been to the 5pm service where more young people would attend, but adult service is something like COSBT adult's service, quite but less formal... haha. yup!

And so it was a 2-in-One God answered day package for me... no make that 3-in-1, because, they gave me a free coffee...*just kidding. but they really did give a free coffee... you know? Gloria Jean's coffee is a company set up by Hillsong? haha.. I didn't know.

3-in-1 because I got to know my first group of friends already, and really, opportunities are starting to open up... :) i'm really glad.

and on the random note:

A reward goes to Jordan. *claps. for the most updated blog... presenting to you, an honourable mention for dutifully updating your blog. With much appreciation from the association, we would also like to present to you the blog of the month Medal plated in the finest 24k carat gold. The very first award of it's kind. thank you* thank you*

2008-02-25T10:43:00.004+08:00

Day 2 Quiet Time a.k.a Mini Sermon:

Jeremiah chapter 2: "I remember how eager you were to please me as a bride long ago, how you loved me and followed me even through the barren wilderness."

Are you eager to please God? How eager are you? these are the questions that I'm asking myself...

the barren wilderness... the bible makes mention of the wilderness several times. Isaiah says, "In the desert prepare the way for the LORD ; make straight in the wilderness a highway for our God."

it says, prepare the way for God... it's not just about preparing myself... it's making it easy for God to turn up! see, a HIGHWAY... what road's bigger than a highway? and what can be more easy to go through than a straight highway?... see, it's about making it easy for God to show up. Loving God makes that easy... loving God wholeheartedly makes it a lot easier... Loving God and Loving your friends makes it the easiest.

And, wilderness has a tinge of a foreign feel to a place, a place that you have not set your feet on... and why does God go through the wilderness? I mean, that verse says they followed God through the wilderness...

You see, the desert/wilderness was a place that God met the Israelites, and where they were called to Worship God... where there's no cares/desires for other things that can stand between you and God... it's just You and God... when Jesus was taken to the desert, it was just GOd and God..haha. kidding. somewhat like that... You know? That's why quiet time also, we call it quiet time because we go to quiet places... but what I learnt so far is that quiet places is not really quiet sometimes, because our thoughts make up bulk of the noise...

Arriving to australia, for a few days already, and sitting in my own room felt like a wilderness... yea... just a much smaller and more concrete one... but there was no one else I sort of even knew one slightest bit, it was me, and just God... and you know what? God speaks to me so clearly. So clearly it's amazing... more clearly than before... and the difference is that now, it's just me and just God... and playing my guitar and singing songs of praise and worship to God is an amazing experience... I really don't know how to explain it... but yea, it was hearfelt p & w... and maybe because I'm all alone with God. Yea, maybe just like the Israelites who were called into the desert/wilderness to worship God... I was called into this little concrete "wilderness" to worship Him too...

but this wilderness, it'll last for a few days, or maybe one or two weeks till school starts. Then that'll be when this place don't seem so unfamilar anymore.

And yUp! compared to my previous quiet times, quiet time these days are different... previously, even thought it may be dead silent, or in the quiet comforts of my own room, there were many many many thoughts that make my mind wander away from the bible and from God. they were "noise" in a quiet place... get what I mean?

Sometimes it's like... no... Many times... it's just... take out bible, read read * read * aiya I forgot to pack some paperclips into my luggage *.... den continue read read * oh man... I need to study for that * ... * read... ok.. time to sleep. That sort of thing. But just spending time alone here with God, when you are free of so much distraction, and free to spend 100% of it with God, changed the way Quiet time was for me.

Moral of the story? Go to bukit timah hill and read your bible... or fly to australia. haha.

I think the most important point is do your quiet time properly... haha. i hope that when school starts, no... i pray that when school starts, quiet time will still be awesome every day for me... like it has been for the first few days... God taught me a bit more of how to worship here :)

everyday's special.

2008-02-25T09:43:00.008+08:00

ok. i got a mobile number... it's +61 433 911 915 finally :D it was quick.

Quiet Time: Guess what? I asked God what to read in the bible, and then I came to Jeremiah.

Day 0 Quiet Time a.k.a Mini Sermon:

To start it, on the first day, before my departure, this was the verse that God showed my dad...

Jeremiah 29v10, "You will be in babylon for Seventy yearts, but then I will come and do for you all the good things that I have promised, and I will bring you home again."

So I will be in Australia for 70 years...

just kidding. 7 years yup, and but God will do all the good things He has promised to do, and He will bring me home again. that was a great start...

So when I arrived, I started reading from Jeremiah chapter 1,

I've read it before, the whole of it, but this time reading it is different... there's new perspectives to so many verses I read.

Day 1 Quiet Time a.k.a Mini Sermon:

Chapter one: Jeremiah's calling.

See how God has called Jeremiah. It's so cool, because God has called me too...

"I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born, I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations."

mmmmm, prophet jordan. nahhh... doctor.

but yea, God has his plans for all of us, and set all of us apart... appointed us as ________ in His plan. So, doctor? yea... that's His plans, way before I was born.

"O God, Soverign God. I can't speak for you! I'm too young!" Jeremiah said.

"Don't say, 'I'm too young' for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. Don't be afraid of the people for I will be with you and protect you." God told Jeremiah.

Take that verse, that's God's words... and look at it as if it were speaking to you... yea, it speaks to me. I was afraid, yea, cos its such a foreign place... so many fears and worries. But God's with me... now, i'm not so afraid anymore... really.

"Get up! Prepare for action. Go out and tell them everything I tell you to say. Do not be afraid of them or I will make you look foolish in front of them. For today, I have made you strong like a fortified city that cannot be captured. Like an Iron pillar or a bronze wall..."

Wow! that's a warning, and a promise... You know, fear makes a person look foolish... but be courageous. This is so in line with Joshua chapter 1v1-9... where God says repeatedly, "Be strong and courageous!" Yes... courage... You know God tells me again to be courageous :) and yea, see this, He makes me strong too, like a fortified city! And how to be like a fortified city? Proverbs 25:28, Whoever has no rule over his own spirit, Is like a city broken down, without walls... Rule over your own spirit :D.... 4 times God showed me Joshua chapter 1 (through zB, through my Mum, through my Mum's office and through an iPod sermon...) to be strong and courageous in Joshua chapter 1, and now another time, in Jeremiah chapter 1... :]

and also, this verse says, Get Up! Prepare for action... I can't just sit around and be laid back... prepare for the Harvest, prepare... start praying... start getting your bank accounts settled... start getting administration things done... start finding friends and people to reach out to... start now...

But you know something,

To Jeremiah, "They will fight you, but they will fail. For I am with you and I will take care of you..."

To Joshua (chapter 1v9) "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."

Just like what God told Joshua in chapter 1 too! can draw so many parallels between the 2 Chapters... both says, God is with me....

while typing this the John (landlady's son) gives me a pizza to eat! he's such a nice guy :D

and so, yea... Joshua chapter one... God says to walk into His promises, and Jeremiah chapter one, God says to enter His calling for my life.

Both Joshua and Jeremiah chapters are such GrEat chaptErs for A greAt start to a Great Plan. So consistent in what God says to me... really it just can't be coincidence... ... :D

so that was day 1, first Quiet time in Australia :D

everyday God answers my prayers so faithfully.

2008-02-24T14:16:00.004+08:00

today's an amazing day... or maybe the least boring day =D... cos I got to see the biggest cruise ship ever...

Had breakfast in the morning at a taiwanese shop in china town. Not expensive.. $8.00 AUD dollars for a meal... which if you convert to Singapore dollars, its still quite expensive. But that's the norm for a meal here.

Then went to Hillsong church. You know, they've got 8 services... each is about the size of Y.I... and 2 branches in Sydney. and you know? they're gonna do another Live Recording Album in about 1 and a half week's time. Yup. it's free to go... I'll be going to see what's it like :D... cos it's nearby.

and you know yesterday, when God said in the bible that, He'll give me sheperds to guide me... it's already started to happen :)

today, the student I met, well, she's not really a student. She just finished accounting, and working now... but she's really a nice person, and yup, I think she's a strong christian. How she became a christian, was just through reading the bible, the whole bible... and then she just believed. I thank God for people like that, that I've gotten to know today... it's really a blessing to know her, and yup. So many christians are coming to sydney, so far, 3 singaporeans i found, they're all christians...

I like the hillsongs church... it's not a stadium kind of church actually, but a hall that's about twice the size of Youth Impact's Level 2 hall, and quite a number of seats. And they share similar visions and goals with Y.I. too, about bringing people, multiplication, growth, and going after God's heart... today's sermon was "How not to get into a heart attack?"

and yea, the pointers I learnt are very practical, and very concise...

1. Your heart's gotta be well-guarded...
This means not only trying to keep out things that shouldn't go in your heart, but putting in things that you should allow into your heart! That's why the Pslam says, Your word I have kept in my heart that I might not sin against You... take God's word, put it into your heart, and it will guard your heart well.

2. A heart's that set on one thing...
In colosians 3:1-2, set your heart on the things above... Prov 16:9 From the heart comes the plans of a man, but the Lord determines his steps... You see, when you set your heart on the things above, on God... like david who set his heart after God's own heart... things start to change.
You know, we can do many things, but not put our heart into it... like doing the dishes, cooking a meal... stuff. But if we have our heart set on, suppose, soccer, we scream our lungs out when a goal is scored. Why? Because of what we set our heart on... set your heart on God.

3. A heart that rejoices...
Ps 105:3 "Let the hearts of those who see the Lord rejoice"
Philippians 4:4 " rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice..."
You know, when your heart rejoices in the Lord, that becomes your strength. The joy of the Lord is my strenght... yup.

4. A heart that is not troubled...
John 14:1, "Don't let your heart be troubled but trust in God"
Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with prayer and petition... "
Proverbs 3:5 "Trust inthe Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding..."
Here there's two words,

Trust Vs Trouble

Either you trouble, or you trust in God... so simple.

5. A pure heart...
Sin makes your heart sick... Sin takes away heart... When you put your heart into something, sin destroys that... That's why we always need to keep a pure heart before God.

So after church, we made our way around the city... headed to Circular Quay, and pass by the Sydeney Opera House... and the Cruise Ship was so big, it blocked off most of the view to the Opera house... so could only see a bit of the opera house for a while. Queen Victoria was humongous...! Seriously, it looked like building on water... and the sides of the ship were all rooms, and balconies... so people could see outside the ship from inside of it...

Then we went to the contemporary art's museum. It didn't have much... and I never understood how to appreaciate the art too.. see a white canvas, with one line... that's art. and one more is a totally black canvas too, and another, a totally white canvas... not a design on it, but it was art.

The more interesting one was the Aboriginal art, where we try to make out a story after each paiting... we saw pictures of kangarooes that were sawn into pieces, or how they were hunting.. stuff like that.

So anyway, got to know my first 2 friends here... one's the landlady's son, John, another is tiffany.. yup.

Today's another amazing day... thank God =D

btw, bus rides are super expensive... it's 3 AUD dollars per ticket, one way... and so I had to spend 2 tickets, that's 6 AUD dollars... and another 1.80 AuD to take a bus to Circular Quay. At least now I know how to get around sydney already... finally able to travel around on my own if I need to... got a bit familar with the city, shopping area's not that big.. maybe the same size as oRchard? yup. or maybe smaller...

anw,

Queen Victoria cruise ship arrives in Sydney

February 23, 2008 08:12am

Royal visit ... the Queen Victoria arrives in Sydney for the first time / AP

THE Queen Victoria cruise ship has arrived on a sparkling morning for her first visit to Sydney.

The two-month-old luxury liner entered Sydney Harbour just before daybreak surrounded by an escort of private yachts.

Stretching 294 metres in length, the 90,000-tonne ship is the second largest in the Cunard fleet and the newest liner ever to visit Australia.

Her much older sister, the Queen Elizabeth 2 (QE2), arrives in Sydney tomorrow.

The Queen Victoria will have stay overnight in Sydney, and the two ships will pass each other around 6.30pm (AEDT) at Fort Denison tomorrow evening.

While this is the first world voyage of the Queen Victoria, it will be the last visit to Sydney and final world voyage for the QE2.

2008-02-23T19:46:00.002+08:00

wahhh.. God answered prayer again...

i'm going to hillsongs church tomorrow... =D, oh man, i'm so excited.

I actually prayed that I could go to a church on Sunday... and you know what?

its 10.47pm here, and yup, the landlady's son and one of the student occupants knocked on my door, and asked if I wanted to go to church tomorrow... so cool.

how cool it that?

2008-02-23T17:42:00.016+08:00

while I am soooOO free, I will write a sermon on JosHua and the battles for the Promise Land.

Lesson learned from the battles...

1) It's always God that brings about every victory... and defeat too! No wonder they say, the battle belongs to the Lord...

If you notice, I think, every battle that the Israelites won, it says, and the Lord handed over _____ to the Israelites, or the Lord has given you victory over _____ ....

But in chapter 7, when Israel experienced their first defeat against Ai...

This is what Happened,

Chapter 7:

From the previous battle, a victory over Jericho... Achan, one of the Israelites, disobeyed God took the plunder, and hid it for himself. He took 200 silver coins, a beautiful robe, a bar of gold. These were supposed to be given to God, dedicated to Him, and put into His treasury. So God was angry... Israel sent 3000 warriors to attack Ai... Just 3000 men to attack Ai! and with 3000 men, Israel was defeated... So God told Joshua what had happened, and mete out the punishment against Achan. After that, God was no longer angry...

Chapter 8:

So this is the part that really told me something about how God really works, and how we still need to have faith to believe that the Victory was from God, no matter how the victory was brought about.

You see, now instead of sending 3000 warriors, God told Joshua to send all his fighting men, and they ammounted to to 35,000 people. That's 11 times of what had been before... and you know? By human strenght, maybe they could have won the battle... Ai only had 12,000 people altogether, including women and children.

You see, it seems to be a logical victory! 35,000 Warriors men against 12,000 women, children and Men from Ai... How could the Israelites have lost anyway?

So this is what we must all know, that every victory belongs to God... You see, no matter how God does it, He brings about victory. Know that before this, God used a miracle, to bring about the fall of Jericho... and for the battle against the southern armies, the Sun and the Moon stood still over the earth (which meant the earth stopped spinning), and God gave the Israelites a miracle victory... and when the Israelites fough the northern armies, it was against a vast horde, that covered the landscape like the sand of the seashore... and God gave Israelites the victory.

Logical ones, and seemingly miraculous ones, all these victories belong to God...

so give thanks to God in everything that you do. Be it you studied very hard, and prepared very well for your exams, and so you scored well for your Exams, or your mind was blank in fear, but God gave you words to write in your History test. All good things come from God.

And all battles belong to God, victory or defeat, God remains sovereign.

You know what sums it up? The last Chapter of Joshua, chapter 24v12b, "It was not your swords or bows that brought you victory. I gave you towns you did not build and land you had not worked on. I gave you vineyards and olive groves for food, though you did not plant them."

2) Miracle Provisions to Practical Promises... Miracles are more practical than we think...

In Joshua 6v12: "No manna appeared on the day they first ate from the crops of the land, and it was never seen again. So from that time on, the Israelites ate from the crops of Canaan." You see, God provides miracles when needed...

How were the Israelites expected to find crops in a desert... So God was there to perfom that miracle. But you see, when they entered the Promises of God, where they could get food from the land itself, God didn't have to thrown Mana from heaven.

Miracles are actually sometimes very practical... God gives Mana not for the sake of showing that He can throw bread from heaven, but to provide food for the people... So its the same, when God heals, it's for a practical purpose... maybe to allow the person to function a new life, to ease the pain... it's not just to show that God can heal...

God's very practical too you know... sometimes we ask for Miracles, like "God take this headache away from me", when all we have to do is take a panadol. You know? I kinda like that story where there was a flood. And this person rejected all the rescuers offer for help, becasue He believed that God would perform a miracle... it works the same way. and Just like the battles, it doesn't always have to be of a miraculous nature, cos in the Bible it said, by His stripes we are still healed, with panadol or not.

and yup... so I used to struggle about whether God actually needs me to be a doctor... You see, He can just heal people like that... *snaps finger. And they always say, Luke was a doctor too, and encouraged the people to take wine, to relieve illnesses... and that God uses medicine too... but that never really convinced me that God actually needed doctors around too... but after reading this, I know that I'm still part of God's plan. =D

God can still use me to bring about healing in people... in more "practical" ways that some may say... but it doesn't always have to be a miracle... cos like Canaan, when the people could feed on its' crops for food, there was no need for Mana anymore. same thing, When people can see doctors to get healed, sometimes there would not be a need for that miracle... (blessed is the man who does not see, yet believe =>Faith :D)

still, it is God that brings about the healing =D I mean, we call God, "Jehovah Rapha" our Healer... not just a "miraculous" Healer... a practical one too =D *yup

3) Preparation and Testing...

Why doesn't God answer all our prayers sometimes?
Or give us everything that He promises to give us immediately?

God did not give all the land that He promised the Israelites immediately for 2 reasons:

Read Judges chapter 3 verse 1, "These are the nations that the Lord left in the land to test those Israelites who had not experienced the wars of Canaan. He did this to teach warfare to the generationsof Israelites who had no experience in battle... ... these people were left to test the Israelites - to see whether they would obey the commands the Lord had given to their ancestors through Moses"

Just 2 reasons:

1. Preparation
"to teach warfare to the generationsof Israelites who had no experience in battle"
2. Testing
"to test the Israelites - to see whether they would obey the commands the Lord"

Isaiah 55:9 says
"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Ok... i was just kidding...this is not a sermon. this is just Quiet time.haha =D

2008-02-23T10:10:00.006+08:00

have you ever cut mangoes before in your life?

well today was my first...

today i paid a visit to a nearby shopping mall i found on the map... on the street directory. It's call Royal Randwick Shopping Mall. I must say, it was a fine discovery. There's everything there to sustain a normal human... From fruits/vegetables to meat and food and clothes, and yea, basically there's a Save $$ supermarket there... and there's mobile phone shops all around. You know what they call opening hours here? They call it trading hours...

Actually I was all ready to get an Australian mobile line, when the person said I had to get a statement from the bank indicating my billing address. But the banks don't open on weekends... at least the commonwealth bank doesn't. So i gave it a pass, and headed straight to the Supermarket... Things there are not that expensive... I bought 15pack Value for Dollar Potato Chips for 3.75, and 4 forks for 4.65AUD, the forks weren't cheap though... but i needed something to use to eat my instant lunch.

For lunch, I had one mango, one apple, 2 packets of chips (small packs), and one Sphegetti Bolognese (costs 3+AuD dollars). That's gonna keep me full till about dinner... then I'll think of what to eat again, if i'm still hungry.

vhad can i do besides blogging?

I study sometimes, blog even more sometimes, and nothing much left to do... play with the dogs sometimes... and wander around the place sometimes... play the guitar too... praise and worship in a small little room sometimes... sleep most of the time... haha :D it's a different experience.

2008-02-23T05:01:00.010+08:00

today's saturday!

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every saturday was a Great day that I really looked forward too... where I'd play soccer with my friends in the morning, and go to church in the afternoon... oh i miss those times, I will miss it very very much... Saturday is something like a meet-with-friends day, and a spend-time-with-God day... its like a two-in-one package... And yesh, all my friends were very dear to me. I remember how I used to wake up by 9.30, spend time with my fairfield friends, playing soccer at a nearby soccer court, until 12pm-12.30pm. It was really fun! running around the court, scoring GoAls... and laughing off each other's miStakes, from holding the ball, to losing the ball, to falling down, to scoring own goals, and stuff... it has been since, yearS... let's say... mmm since secondary 1 that these friends have been around with me. that's 8 yEARs! we formed a grop that we called, LPU... don't ask me how it came about... can't remember, but it's a funny name... and since then, up to now, about 11 of us met up frequently. Saturdays mornings were usually like that for me for the last few years, but saturdays now will be very very different, from what I used to have... the times were great. then would rush down to church after that... and looking forward to a great day ahead. Well, today's slightly different... I wake up, prepare a cereal, turn on the computer and here I am, blogging online at about 5a.m. Singapore time, which is actually 8a.m. here. How at 1.30pm, we'd start ice-breakers! and laugh so much sometimes... and then head up for service... and every time a newcomer comes, we'd try to make them feel welcomed :) And then there was praise and worship, yes! jumping during service, praising God freely... it's great that people jump, cos makes praise and worship more free! imagine a service where people stood stuck in front of their seats... and worse with glued hands by their sides... and maybe tight sealed lips... ahHh, i so wanna praise God like i do on saturdays. But you kow? praising God in Australia, in the comforts of my little room will do too, for the time being... well, being alone, it's different... but i've come to know God more, just in a few days... come to see God work in my life... that's all worth praising God for, really! and there was sermon, weeks and weeks of learning... I really thank God for Pastor Daniel and Sis Wp. If not for them, I don't really know how'd my walk with God be in another place, or whether I'd be where I am today. really. aNother specially crafted plan by God. how i joined the church so long ago, was random droPping into one of the cAmps called - Dare2Run! haha. it was the first camp for many people too... :) And then after service, there's small group last time, and there's cell group recently... and it was fun! cell group's a time where I hear how God works in each of our lives, and yea, it's so cool man. you know, every single testimony, is a sprititual marker that God places in our lives to direct us to Him, serves as a reminder etched in stone that remains forever as a testimony of God's faithfulness. Every testimony, means your friends are knowing a bit more of God, depending a bit more on God, appreciating a bit more of what God has done, and thanking God for what He has done, giving glory to God for what He has done, acknowledging God for what He has done... and I remember how i'd always like to go last, when sharing about what God has done for me, just amazing things. Now, saturdays just feels so different. i'm not used to it yet. Of course! I mean, it's only my first saturday... it'll get better soon. And yea, I pray for great lifelong friends ahead, and christian friends to spur me on in my walk with God. And there was discipleship, with Cheng Yu! with Eugene, always telling him 18 occasionally.. and with Timothy! with Ken a long time ago..haha. yea! you know? I pray for you guys... A great bunch of friends. And there was Rosaline, Rachel, Stacy! well, the guys outnumbered the girls in ex-small group, until Siew Jia and Qi Ying came... Then Chapmen came... and the guys still outnumbered the girls...haha.* yea, yea, I miss those phone conferences with Rosaline and Eugene, every one of them! sometimes it was with much laughter! sometimes it was sharing difficult times! sometimes it was quiet-time! haha. and yea, every one of the phone conference, i really looked forward to... and also last time phone conferences with Rachel, and with Stacy.. yea, helped me to know them so much better when I didn't really know them at first... and when I came to know them better... haha. Rachel can be quite fierce sometimes... hAHa. only to Eugene! and stAcy's become more cheerful! haha. and then after multiplication, there was KarYn! haha. i thank God for her... you know when I was preparing a lot for Australia, when there are times I slackened a bit... no... not a bit... a lot... you know what Karyn does? On phone conference, "Have you done your Quiet time? Did you write your spiritual Journal today?..." so scary... hahaha. kidding! but that put me back on the right track... on God's track. and then there was grace! the super drama person... wahHH. always funny and so cheerful. thanks for the calendar.. you know it's so funny! haha. during Chinese New year, in popular bookstore, when I appeared at one corner behind Eugene, you quickly mumbled, "Jordan's here...psst" haha something like that. I pretended not to hear...hahha! just like how Rosaline too, whispered to Ken when buying the sweater for me. but really, I appreciate all the surprises! it's really touching! and there's zeeJay, who saluted me (like how they salute an important person like, a president on National Day!!!) on Steamboat day, from far across the dinner-carpark! hahaha... and suddenly came all the way across to apologise to take back the salutation... HAhaha. i'll miss you. knowing him goes a long history... but since history lessons are always boring, you'd be bored if I told you the long history... haha. and there's gabriel... no make that 2 gabriels! one always jumping around, with bubble tea... ... haha that's the smaller one. And bigger one, always sing the second floor song, and Army songs... like's dragon ball... and blushes easily, when he laughes *waves hand in front of mouth and giggles. haha. and there's noel! who got into mechantronics. study hard! =D and do very well, because God opened up this door for ya. and there's kai siang... seems quiet, but actually he talks a lot. haha. and has a hidden humour that, sometimes, he shows, and haha, really funny! and there's JOhN! hmm i call him St John... he's super lame... really! haha. and when I got to know him, we cliqued quite well. I always come up with my lame joke and share it with him! haha. he's really a nice guy, and lame, but very humourous... appreciates my Lame JoKEs..hahaha! yea, and there was SufAn too! a.k.a dee-Niece or The-niece... haha. i don't know how to pronounce the english name, so I just call her SufAn. hahah.. you see her always cheery! and very funny... =D very fun to talk to and be with. and there was dreY. Jus like zeeJay, a long history! but yea, when I saw that she went to Australia and was fine, that gave me some assurance that God will be with me too, jus like how God's with her. and there's mEL... you hear her from across the place because she laughs so loud. hahah. and screams too! and there's siew Jia, she gave me a floWer and a cupcake... and a note. hahah sort of like her farewell present, but it's the first flower i got from someone, if I can remember. haha. and there's s club 7's fan, annabel! and jaclyn, she can speak JAPANESE you know?! i only knew that during ignite conference... and also, there's aLEx, another drama person who waves her hands when telling a story... haha. and there's cheng Yu... you know what happened during YI camp at night, when cheng yu's beside me?... My little finger somehow touched his eyes, and suddenly heared a pop sound... and I felt a snap at my little finger... and the next thing I knew, his hand flew across from his sleeping bag and hit my face. hahaha. it was so funny... "static" if could be used as a verb...then i "static"ed his eye. hahhaha. i don't know how it ever happened, but yea, it did. anyway, Chengyu's a super funny guy, and you should see how he tells jokes when he's eating...haha food can fly out of his mouth. and eugene! airport! haha... I remember where during a conference, he shared with me from Eugene chapter 1 verse 1... and verse 2... and verse 3. haha. it was so funny... ... then he would say,I had many things to write to you, but I am not willing to write them to you with pen and ink; but I hope to see you shortly, and we will speak face to face. . . haha* that came from a letter in the New testament. and yea, all the times he shared with me problems, and thank-God testimonies, and homework too! ahhhH... things will be different now. and there's botak TimO in army, and there was kEn! you know what Ken did that I'll always remember? always doing cheeky things... like taking his shirt and wrapping around my face from behind, ahhhhHH SO disgusting! it was sweat-filled... ahHHH.

much ramblings about Saturdays-used-to-be's... and days-used-to-be's...
if you read between the lines... it just... I MISS everyone so much... and I am EmO'ing in a small room in Australia on a saturday morning. Just because it is a saturday...

Thank God for all the wonderful Saturdays i've had for the past... errrr... many years in Y.I. and with Fairfield friends.

and yea, God tells me I'm in His promises and plans...
you know? I'd never give anything in the world than to start walking in His promises... really.

Everyday, God speaks to me through quiet time... You know, when I asked for Christian friends to spur me on with my walk with God, you know what God told me, Jeremiah 3v15, "And I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will guid you with knowledge and understanding..." How cool is that?

everyday's an amazement. :)

2008-02-22T16:52:00.009+08:00

Thank God yet again,

This is the e-mail I got...

You have been allocated to:

Hospital Prince of Wales
Hospital Group POWB1
Scenario Group B1

A high number of students have not been allocated a high preference hospital.
We were unable to accommodate all students with their first preference
e.g. Prince of Wales Hospital had 67 places for students to be allocated,
186 of the 250 students put Prince of Wales as their first preference.

Managed to get a place to study for clinicals in the most sought after Hospital for first year.
I think it's most sought after because it's soOOO near to the university, the nearest hospital to the university,
and just a short walk away, maybe just about 7 minutes walk from where I stay... it's gonna be such a convienient
year, don't need to travel much to far away places for learning anymore =D thank God, thank God.

isn't God amazing?

and yea, just now I typed a more than an hour long email to my Mum, and know what happened?
My Computer HunG... I prayed, and thought that maybe the the computer would Un-HanG or something,
but nOOooOo, it was dead still, no progress, not loading... just deeeAAAD still.

I thought I lost it all when I finally decided to close my internet browser window,

but nOOOOooo!

thank God I managed to recover it... don't really know how I did it, but the WHOLE e-MAIL reply appeared again on my Hotmail Reply page... =D

everyday of God answered prayers.

and because I am soooOOOO free now, I'll post some photos.
:D

You know these dogs? they are very very noisy, if they don't know you, they bark non-stop.
But they don't bite, and its fun to play with them... they've been barking at me since day one...
but now, they sorta stopped barking a lot... i think because the dogs found out i'm a nice guy...
there are total of 3 dogs I think? the white one's very cute. one of them is 12 years old, and is the
nicest one amongst the 3 dogs... Completely white in colour... :D
All very cute dogs, but cannot replace the handsome HusKy, tuffy! I miss my dog...

The mug that my fairfield friends gave me, and the calendar from YI people I'll always remember
See the laupok phone? that's the phone since National Service, and if you didn't know, I've got spectacles,
that's my spetacles Box, and also the keys to the house... and the watch? why I wear a watch... it's because
i'm growing up already. haha. it's gift from my Mum... so anw Cheers! one can drink is only 35 cents AUS = 40 cents SGD.
So cheap. I must find out how to go to the supermarket soon, before my store of food runs out.

and Macdonalds for Dinner... I took a walk around, and found out that Macdonald's not that expensive.
5.75AUD for a Big Mac Meal,
and 4.25 AUD for a Cheeseburger Meal...
about the same price as Singapore.

and guess what? I've already started studying! haha. cos nothing to do... so I'm following my timetable,
and started to read on Histology... the study of tissues and cells at the microscopic level. I thank God for
A level Bio, because most the things come from there. I remember some, not all because I've got bad memory,
but it's like a recap to A level biology... phosolipid bilayer? protein channels? lysosomes? glogi apparatus? nucleus?
nuclear envelope?... blah blah... it goes on :D

studying hard.

2008-02-22T08:28:00.014+08:00

you know what?

i searched the internet for mobile phone plans, and guess what? this is what I goggled, UNSW, Mobile phone plans, blogspot... I was hoping some students at UNSW blogged about their phone plans, so I know what to get... cos I need to get a mobile number and phone sooonnn.

I found somebody's blog... that topped the search list... it was the first in the search list! so i found the segment that talked about how this person chose from a list of phone plans... blah blah.. goes on...

Normally, I wouldn't read on... but a few posts down, I saw pictures of Medical text books and pictures of the University... at first, I was thinking that this person probably studied medical science, or pharmacology, or some healthcare course in UNSW, but then, the last picture, a picture of a stethoscope... and yup, reading on further, i found out more.. that its was his first year medicine in UNSW too! He came from Singapore too (but I think He's indonesian chinese), just moved into a campus hostel nearby, probably 10 minutes walk away from where I live and Christian too, and now just waiting for school to start... He's a first year sutdent too, totally NEW to the place... Arrived on the 19th Feb too, after touring Sydney with his family...

I managed to tag him and yup, he replied... and now, trying to contact him now and maybe we can meet up before school starts... Just like me, he's got nothing much to do till school term starts... and from what I read, he has found a church to go to also.

how amazing is that? =D can you see?

this is one super duper God-planned opportunity to get to know your friends, even before school starts, yuppp.. another God-answered prayer and yet another amazing testimony I wanna give thanks to God for...

I prayed for friends that I'll be going to meet, prayed for Christians friends too, prayed for God to prepare the place there for me... my cell group people prayed for me too... and ya, God answered so fast, and so unexpectedly... I thought that I'd only get to meet friends like only when school starts. I told one of my fairfield friends before that during the first 2 weeks, I won't be doing much... and would only get to know friends when school term starts 1.5 weeks later.

ButtT, God plans are perfect... amazing... and full of pleasant surprises... and timely... how can so many things fall into place so nicely, something that's so impossible to think about, but to actually know how super super duper faithful God is... really so amazing... Never fails to amaze me up till now...

i mean, how can random googling of mobile phone plans actually lead me to somebody's blog, who's gonna study medicine at UNSW too, and first year student, and came slightly earlier before school term starts, studied in Singapore before this... and open such an opportunity like this for me... isn't it amazing? God-orchestrated, God-planned, God-lead...

I also wanna thank God for yesterday, where I met up with my Father's Friend's Cousin... Mr Doan. He's got a nice family, and took me out for dinner. Somewhere walking distance from my house, and so that now I know how to get around to find food. Yup. After the first night, I figured I needed to find out where to get food, and yup, this is another God answered prayer. Now i know there are so many eating places, that's just 5 minutes walk away, and there's a petrol station with a minimart, and a McDonalds that operates 24 Hours, and a McCafe too! And yea, dinner with them was great. He gave me a map of sydney too, which is super useful.. =D

After dinner, he brough me to drive through the City area... well, it's big, but not like orchard... there are way less people walking around at night... but yea, it was an eye opener... Buildings looked different, architecture and everything... Mostly shorter buildings, unlike Singapore. Now I know a rough idea of how to get around the place, and what to expect if I go visit the city.

Thank God for so many things that happened yesterday... and it was yet another amazing day. =D

oh yea, one more thing i missed out from the prev prev post, is that... The landlady rents the place out to a few students and I was the last person she accepted, just because she couldn't recieve any other offers on that day, and just because God planned it that way.

the landlady's really nice =D

2008-02-22T08:18:00.010+08:00

Credits to my sister, Lisa... missygoody2shoes.blogspot.com there are more photos there :D

2008-02-21T11:49:00.024+08:00

Photo's galore =D

first post from Australia.

maybe i've never felt more down in my life than the days before my departure... some nights I just couldn't sleep well, some days just thinking and thinking... and time flies by so fast, when you really want it to slow down, it just won't... even though I knew it was all in God's hands, and He has never failed to amaze me even up to now, I couldn't help but still feel so sad.

You know? in the morning before my departure, I played the guitar and started to sing Heart of Worship... I'm coming back to the heart of worship, when it's all about You... and then, suddenly it reminded me of Abraham. I wonder how abraham must have felt when God called him to sacrifice his only son... and that was Worship... even though it meant seperation from the ones you love so much, you'd still choose to obey God. Abraham must have felt so sad... and when He was called to leave his homeland, and go to a land where God will show Him, abraham must have felt sooo sad too.So going overseas, yea, it's an act of worship. It's obeying God.

and even up to the aiRport, i must say, GOD IS FAITHFUL... you know? eugene asked me for my prayer requests, and that night, karyn prayed for me... for the excess baggage I had... I was over by 12 kG, and which meant, 12kg x 40 dollars/kg=840 dollars...

just kidding, it's not 840, its actually equal to 480 dollars additional charge...

so we went to the airport early, and the timing was perfect! you see, there was no queue when me and my mum reached the airport... and then we approached the counter. When I measured the luggage, it was 25kG, which exceeded the limit by 5kg. So my mum explained my situation, and then the lady at the counter said she'll overlook the thing and allowed up to 30 kg. So i asked if I could transfer the enormous weight from my hand-carry bag to my luggage, and she allowed. After adding in the stuff, it became... ... 32KG!... i saw the weight counter, and said, "oh, it exceeded the 30kg weight, errmm, can I take some things out?"

The lady replied, "ohh, ermm, ok. I'll let you go through for this time only... "

there it was, God answers prayers! and then, my hand carry luggage was added on to more than 10 kg... so i brought a total of about more than 42kg to Australia... isn't God amazing?

faithful till the end. and you knoW why the timing was perfect? there was no queue at first... after we finished checking iN, and walked a distance, sat down for 1-2 minutes, the queue grew by 10 metres... and continued to grow.

it was super super duper touching to see all you guys at the airport? make me feel like crying, but you know, my mum said, it was a joyous occasion... must be really happy and move on in life... While walking into the departure, i felt kinda excited, felt really different... maybe that's what Joy really is, somewhat like a sense confidence as I lugged the heavy bag, guitar and laptop towards Gate number A2...

As I sat there to wait, I began to thank God so much for my family, for my fairfield friends, for my church friends. Thanked God for so many things... so many thoughts rushed through my head, and really, i felt kinda dazed too, kinda haven't let reality set in yet.

and then, while waiting for the gate to open.... *nothing happened... dang dang DANG!! haha kiding. (only eugene will understand this joke) you know what happened?! I recieved an SMS by mR neo telling my sister about SiSterhood... oh man!... but see my sister's blog missygood2shoes.blogspot.com - taken from lisa, "the SISTER of i4c... eugene, the leader of the sisterhood.." hAHahAHahaaa. oops!*

so in the air plane, maybe i cried, maybe not... haha. I won't tell you...

so when I reached, everything seems to go smoothly, I met the person holding my name on an A4 paper, followed him to the house, met the landlady and moved into the house...

so it was, i finally reached Australia.

That day, I was really tired, but I had to do some things like getting my banking accounts settled, getting my student card, registering with the university ISS... those were a few things. I started at 1pm, and by the time I've finished, it was already 5pm... navigating around the place wasn't really too hard, because I had a map.

and so it was, when I walked across the road, back to the room, I took a bath, and then, I fell tight asleep... 1 hour, 2 hour, about 3 hours passed...

I woke up... I remembered I had not eaten yet! and everything outside looked so dark... sigh* so i decided to go back to sleep, but not eating was not a choice, because I didn't want to get gastric. The last time I ate was early in the morning at about 5a.m. on the plane, where i took two bites off a piece of bread, and a cupcake. Breakfast on airplane's aren't nice at all... haha. so it was then that I went to my bag, took out an Anti-gastric pill and ate it before I tried to sleep again... so 1 hour passed, about 2 hours passed... my stomach was growling... but I almost fell asleep

then suddenly, one knock...

two knocks...

three knocks on my door.

There was the landlady with a plate of rice, and curry (tasted like rendang), pork and losta drinks... there was lemonade, and 6 packets of green tea.

ohh man, have you ever said grace, and was so thankful you felt like crying... well, it was my first. Because it showed me that God loved me so much, and His love shown though the landlady to me... that He was still watching over me, and didn't want me to go hungry at night.

it was about 10p.m. when I got up, and ate the food. I was full, really full cos it was a lot of food. Then I went online, got my internet to work finally, chatted for a while, and then went to sleep...

I woke up at about 10 a.m. today, and had a good night's rest.. really! there was no need for aircon at night, because it was cooling, but not cold enough that you need to huddle under a blanket.

ok this is what I thank God for in addition to the FOOD! ...i thank God for the internet (it's wireless), I thank God for the water heater... there's always hot water, but don't know where it comes from... haha. their water heater must be turned on 24-7. I thank God for the Good rest....

so, the landlady decied to take me out for some shopping.. she decided to bring me around to buy some necessary items like a bedsheet, pillow...blahh a lot of things.... haha. the list goes on... and then I want to thank God for that time too.

I was talking to her, and she asked me what religion I was... I told her Christian, and she looked at me and said, "Wow! That's good, I'm christian too, and my family is christian too..." So she told me about her family, and her church... and but, it's all cantonese speaking. Also she says that one of the student that she rents a room out to is christian too, and she goes to Hillsong church. Another goes to the unichurch. Now, i've got some choices to choose from you know... yuP.

so now, that makes my accomodation more perfect than ever.

so she was telling me about how through Alice, she finally agreed to rent the accomodation to me. "you are very lucky", she likes to use that phrase... "you are very lucky" she said. It turned out that she had many many offers... and that she actually didn't want to rent the room out to me. But, alice said, "jordan's a very good boy... his family very nice people..." and which, my mum told alice, that "jordan's a very good boy, don't drink, don't smoke.... ... " So she agreed immediately... and that day, she couldn't be contacted on her mobile, so she couldn't recieve other offers... so she said, "you are very lucky..." and today, when she heard from me that I was a christian, she said that she was very happy that she could bless me with this place and let me stay. Yea, isn't it all God-planned?

she began to tell me about a house that she owned too, that's further away, when she advertised, immediately 20 students called in, and she brought them to view the house. Immediately, they paid the deposit and took it, and it's not even half as near to the university as where I am right now... all in the same day she put up and advertisement. That's how hard it is to find accomodation around, and how God had showed me that He was faithful, and how blessed I am to be in this place...

so it's a perfect place in a perfect plan... 7 the perfect house number... and the nearest accomodation anyone could get, to the medical faculty building I'll be studying in. How awesome is that?

and I managed to get so many things that I needed to get.

joshua chapter 1:1-9

2008-02-13T00:24:00.001+08:00

"Get going. Cross this Jordan River, you and all the people. Cross to the country I'm giving to the People of Israel. I'm giving you every square inch of the land you set your foot on—just as I promised Moses. From the wilderness and this Lebanon east to the Great River, the Euphrates River—all the Hittite country—and then west to the Great Sea. It's all yours. All your life, no one will be able to hold out against you. In the same way I was with Moses, I'll be with you. I won't give up on you; I won't leave you. Strength! Courage! You are going to lead this people to inherit the land that I promised to give their ancestors. Give it everything you have, heart and soul. Make sure you carry out The Revelation that Moses commanded you, every bit of it. Don't get off track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get to where you're going. And don't for a minute let this Book of The Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you'll get where you're going; then you'll succeed. Haven't I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take."

-God

the longest post ever

2008-02-10T23:52:00.000+08:00

i can't thank God enough for his provisions - Jehovah Jireh.

now with accomodations settled, I found a perfect home to live in Sydney.

Well, at most, it seems to be perfect =D everything seems to be perfect about it...

It's just across the road to the University Library,
nearer to the Medical Faculty than most hostels, or maybe its the nearest,
it's a room in a big, big bungalow,
the toilet looks beYOOotiful (i saw a photo of it),
the son of the owner's gonna study Post-grad medicine also on his first year of it,
so we'll have a little in common...
and its house number 7, a perfect number, just like home... my house is 7 too. 7 is one of the numbers God likes a lot in the bible, like how 7 days describes creation... the 7th day is the Sabbath day... dId you knOw? (I didn't until I saw it on the internet.) SEVEN is used over 700 times in the Bible. 7 representws a number of perfection...

so it seems,

A PERFECT HOME in sydney.... =D

and you know?

This is a God answered prayer.

Well, the thing about going overseas is that Accomodation's the biggest hassle. And, its just got confirmed last week. Next next week, I'll already be flying off the Sydney. Just imagine what I'd supposed to be doing, with about 30Kg of luggage and no idea of a place to go to... figuring my way around Sydney to a maybe a hotel, lugging around my baggage, being totally lost and confused... going to a VERY VERY new place and all alone is a scary thing. Yes, and I've been praying for accomodations for a long long long long time.

There seemed to be totally no progress on finding an accomodation.

But God answered my prayer, first it was Eugene's friend, Ian... He introduced me to Sydney, UNSW and everything that I needed to know! He was a great help, seriously... gave me an idea of what to expect, what to look out for, and now I know that the first thing I need to do is to head for the UNSW student services counter to the right when I come out of the Sydney arrival hall...

Thereafter, I still couldn't find a way to settle my accomodations...

Then, I remember there was a day, I told God, "Can you help me with by accomodations by the next day?"... AND, You know the very next day, Gary, an education counsellor called me up and said that he'd be checking with the university on the progress of my hostel applications. That phone call was was important, because it was a God answered prayer, and that phone call was really really comforting... You know how God can speak through people to give you moments of peace/comfort? God did that just for me. At least I knew that something was being done for my accomodations... if not, I'd be still so worried then. The phone call made it a whole lot better... so all I had to do was to wait.

So I waited... ...

And then, a few days later, Gary called back to say that all the hostels very full and my offer did not make it through. At that time, I was worried, really really worried...

AND however, one thing did really comfort me, and that was that God couldn't have opened so many doors, and provided so much for my education, and made it all possible when at times it couldn't have been, to show me that it was really really 100 percent without a doubt that going overseas was His plan, and YET not be faithful to follow through till the end...

How can God not provide for my accomodations, after all that He already provided me with already...?

AND so, God was silent for a while... maybe He wasn't really silent. It's just that He didn't answer my requests immediately, like how they do it in a Fast Food restarurant. BUT, He did give me peace. You know, a Serene Chaos? and an Peaceful Anxiety? just like that movie on Saturday...

And so, through my Dad's very very good friend's cousin's friend, Alice, came the answer to my prayer, and God slowly revealed what he had in store for me.

I remember that day, just before calling Alice, I whispered a prayer to God... you know like a "passing" prayer just before you start an exam... that kind... ... I asked God to be in that conversation, to be with me when I speak to her about my accomodations... and that was about 2-3 sentences, and then I picked up my phone to call...

when I called a few times, trying all sorts of combination of numbers, country codes, area codes with an International Call Card, I just couldn't get through... *sigh* I wanted to give up... and just tell my Dad that it was the wrong number. But, just before I was about to, I finally managed to get through, and when I asked for Alice, she immediately responded as though as she was already expecting my call. Well, she actually did, cos apparently my father's friend's cousin told his friend about me...

Ok. So I told her about what I needed for accomodation, like Internet, a furnished room... the price range... ... the location... And the conversation went so smoothly, and she said that she'll find a place for me, and it'll take about a week.

So in Just a few days, she emailed me back to say that she found one that was 15 minutes walk away from the university... Mmm that's about 3/4 the distance from my house to church. Well, I was delighted! At least it was near the school... I quickly said that I was okay with that, and would accept it. To be honest, I thanked God so much for it... I thought it was a great place, and what God had in plan for me...

But, no... it wasn't.

Then came the bad news about 2 days later, that the student living in the house did not was to move out until the end of the month, so I couldn't get it by the time I fly over to Sydney.

So then, she began to describe how if I looked for house outside Kensington, that was about 15-20min bus ride from the university, it'd be a lot easier and there'll be a lot more choices, and how in Kensington, it was a peak period where so many students are finding accomodations, and how rental jumped by 10-20 percent in cost...

and then she finally got to this house, saying that there was one available that was 1 minute from the University, and that the landlord's son was a medical science student intending to do medicine in UNSW also. And so, I told her I had to discuss with my mum first and get back to her as soon as possible. But she kept urging me to be quick about it. And actually, I had wanted to wait for my parents to reach home before consulting them at night, but I didn't. God urged me to call my parents and tell them at that very moment. So I called my Dad first, then my Mum. And told them about this place. Then my mum decided to call her to confirm this place...

And so, she told my mum that she was not sure if it was still available because they currently have many offers for it... you know what my Mum said? "Jordan, he's a very good boy lah. He don't drink, don't smoke, and go to church every saturday..." hAhaha. ok.

10 minutes later, Alice called back to said that it was settled.

And my Accomodations were finally settled... at first it seemed just okay. But the more I thought about it, the more I realised how it's not just an Okay thing that happens... It's a miracle.

When I thought of alternative options to this, I realised that every other option for Accomodation like living in a hostel, or renting an apartment, or looking up for temporary accomodation for the time being, every other option was way more costly and wasn't as good as this. The price difference in this and other alternatives could go as high as 500-600 dollars a month or maybe even more.

And there was not a single accomodation option that's as suitable as this one...

So it seems perfect.

Everything seems to fall in nicely.

Everything about how God provides for me to go australia seems, sOOo God-planned.

From the time, I re-activated my e-mail just the day before the e-mail for the University Medicine interview came in, when I absolutely would not have done so because I totally don't use that e-mail and had no idea it was de-activated because of that...

From the time that God provided finances for my parents to support me overseas in the very most miraculous way, that absolutely would not have happened with such timely'ness... and now that I go with a peace knowing that it's not as much a financial strain on them as it would have been... which maybe would add a lot more stress and burden on them. You know, this was my biggest concern when my parents persuaded me to try out for an overseas university... and day after day I prayed for God to provide for it somehow... I was actually sOOo reluctant to go because of this, and only about 3 months back, wHAM... God appeared and provided miraculously...

From the time, in Secondary school when I told God I wanted to be a doctor, and that God says, that He gives us the desires of our hearts... and of how, I had wanted to go NJC just because I wanted to do well enough so that I could qualify for medicine... that was in Sec 4 and and but I thought it was simply impossible...

From the time that I almost decided to give up my pursuit of medicine, a dream that I held for years until my Dad pushed me to apply for Australia...

From the time that God used my Sis to introduce me a book, The Gift of Pain, by Dr Paul Brand, a person who really inspired me to really want to pursue a dream when I did plan of the possibilty of giving up...

From the time when I told God I didn't want to waste my time in NS... God made a way for me to become a MEDIC in the SAF. NOT a job in the SAF that couldn't be more appropriate than this... Allowing me to learn so much, and see so much in Hospitals (like the A & E ward), and do so much like being an Attendant in treatment dives for DCI cases, like learning how to sustain a person's life... provide 1st Aid, use an AED... injections, setting up Intravenous Fluids... protocols for many many health emergencies.... what could be more appropriate than this?

God was in IT ALL...and finally,
When zi Bing shared the verse about crossing the Jordan on one saturday, and the next day, on my IPOD, I heard a "random" (random because my IpoD was on shuffle, 1 in 1000 chance of being played for every song inside) sermon by Ps Jurgen, which was... ... yesH... ... it was on Crossing the Jordan and what Crossing that river really meant,

and just 1 week ago, my mum gave me a bible, with a verse attached to it that she wrote just for me in the front page, Joshua chapter 1v1-9, on Crossing the Jordan...

Now, God does speak through bible. Not many coincidences happen everyday like that.

Crossing the jordan means, entering into the promises of God. That's why they called it the promise land...

This is God's promise and plan for me. I take it...
I thank God so much for it...
And I couldn't thank Him more...
He's faithful throughout... God's name really is Jehovah Jireh a.k.a My Provider...

Now, I just pray I don't ever forget about what God did for me in the midst of studying there... That I will always remember God and what He has done for me...

That's why it's on this blog...
I want it to be a testimony worth telling many people about what God did for me! =D

2008-01-25T00:57:00.001+08:00

oh... This was taken on the Sunday before Ignite conference... on a family photoshoot my Mum's colleague gave to our family as a gift. We don't normally take family photos together, and I must this was a great great gift...

I'm bringing this along with me to australia, there's about 200 photos =D... this is one of the nicest ones. What a great gift! I thank God so much so muCH for it, and yea, so timely, and I can look aT these photos and remember my family always :)

And when I saw these photos, I couldn't thank God more for my family... I feel so blessed so blessed so blessed. Even though there are quarrels, or times of disagreement, even over the smallest things, there are so many happy moments too... I love them. How can I not miss my family when I go overseas? I pray that God protects them always :D sends his angels to guard over everyone, keep them safe from harm. For Good health always.

Thank You Lord.

2008-01-20T23:35:00.000+08:00

change my world,

like those who have gone before.

the cloud of witnesses,

cheers us on,

to lift that staff,

carry the torch,

take that faith step,

i'm inspired,

this is my assignment,

it is a vision,

and my responsibility,

to stand in the gap,

on behalf of my world,

for God's love.

-ignite conference 2008

i thank God for those heroes who left a legacy. So that we could be inspired, by the huge intensity of their love for God and for people, to bring Jesus into our world.

this post, is going down in actions.
and its gonna be a reminder always of what I learned today, yesterday, and yesterday yesterday... 18th - 20th January 2008.

must not let this be mere words, or a conference hype...

I really thank God for the conference, cos now I'm going to Australia with more purpose, a greater one over studying... of course studying is important!

eugene prayed for me that I'd do exceptionally well in UNSW Medicine... during that saturday night...

its somewhat beyond my wildest dreams, mmmm...
and but I said, "Amen" to that.

So, i guess i've gotta work really hard eh?... but after today, its not just studies alone...

I'm gonna multi-task.

2008-01-15T22:59:00.000+08:00

taken from lamentations

"I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss.
Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this...

"The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, "The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!"

The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him. So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord. And it is good for people to submit at an early age to the yoke of his discipline. Let them sit alone in silence beneath the Lord's demands. Let them lie face down in the dust for there may be hope at last. Let them turn the other cheek to those who strike them and accept the insults of their enemies.

For NO ONE is abandoned by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love. For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow...

Let us test and examine our ways.
Let us turn back to the Lord."

-

We should dare to hope in God always, no matter what happens, no matter what we did, no matter what we could have done instead... dare to hope in God.

2008-01-15T02:03:00.000+08:00

You know... 2 weeks ago, on a saturday,

Zibing shared during P and W about crossing the Jordan river.

yea... a few days later I heard a sermon about it on my iPOD, didn't know it was in my iPOD, but yea, its from a SAN Dieago Church, introduced by Zi Jian - titled Crossing the Jordan...

I got a confession...

I listened to it at night, on my bed... ...

Guess what happened next?

this was what I heard :" *..**....israe**lites.ZzZz...*...** their san**..*Zz*dals never wore out***...*ZzzZ**. ...*..***.. josh**ua***..**ZzzzZ***..*mos*zZz*es***...****Zzz* i've reached the end of my sermon.."

hAHhaha. like a broken radio...

sermons are really one of the best sleep medicine eh? *hahah, just kidding.

You know how Pastors like to suddenly shout during their sermons to emphasize a point, a word, and to capture the attention of their audience, especially those who are gonna fall fast asleep... yea.. it did work... for a while. HAHA

so just for a while... den I fell asleep... but towards the end...

... so this is what I learnt, before i became unconscious... hahaha

You know what crossing the Jordan river means?

The Jordan river was an impenetratable body of water... seemingly impossible to cross. The Giants were a undefeated group of warriors... seemingly impossilbe to win.

Those are roofs over our heads, limiting our potential when we are not claiming God's promises... it's like a floodgate that's waiting for You to unlock, but you don't.

It's crossing into God's promises...

The Israelites spent 40 years in the desert, just dwelling in God's provisions and blessings (you know, a pillar of fire by the night, a cloud by the day, mana from the sky, and their sandals never wore out).... But they weren't walking in God's promise... Yea. and there couldn't be a name more apt than the PROMISE land... that the Israelites were supposed to walk into...

the Pastor said this, which was very true, "what's much better than staying in the provisions and blessings of God is... to walk into the promises of God."

and what Rosaline said made some sense... instead of crossing the Jordan, I'll be crossing an Ocean.

and she was trying to figure out which ocean it was... Indian? Atlantic? Pacific? South China Sea?... ... I don't know which one it is i'll be crossing...

but of course, I do it with the help of the A380. haha.

I thank God for such a big comfortable plane that came so timely for such a destination as Sydney and yea... It's in Terminal 3..

You see, if this is GOd's plan...

then, God made the A380 a long time ago,

started construction of Terminal 3 quite a while ago,

so just for that day, and time,
I'll be able to fly on a comfortable plane with no extra cost,

in a world class Plane,

and in a world class Terminal 3!

How timely... =D

19th Feb 2030 Hours SQ 221 - The Big Friendly Green Plane A380 -

And I just found out that I get to choose my own seats... how cool is that

I chose the corner of the middle back section of the plane,

a window seat where I can see the wings...

and see it take off, see the skies and the clouds, and maybe the sun in the morning....

i doubt I'd be able to see stars or the moon at night.